I need someone to help my situation

[kaseymariex15x]

Alright, so I am a 19 year old girl who started to date this guy that was deaf. However this is where things get pretty interesting. I knew him from high school and then I wanted to get to know him because the physical attraction was there. At the time people knew more about him then I did and told me he was born a girl. 2 years later I met him again at a club in our local city, and we started talking, I had remembered that the people informed me he was born a girl but I thought it would be better to find out myself. I did not have a problem with the possibility of him actually being a girl because I accept both sexes and dont base my relationship off gender. Once we hung out a couple of times and I observed closer ... I realised that the aligations were true because I could see wrapping around the breast area to hide any evidence of female parts. Once I confronted that I knew about his secret, it allowed him to open up to me more and found out later he was still biologically a female in search of becoming transgender, I accepted all of it without a doubt, in my view I thought the transgender was more of something to focus on but I think I was wrong.... After we were together for 2 weeks I was able to adapt to the sign alphabet and he taught me basic ASL so I was able to communicate and it made it easier.

However I came up with some issues because we started working at the same place, he was there first... and for some reason when we started working together our relationship went downhill because he was communicating with other people at work and they were talking about me and giving him their opinions and he would listen not knowing right from wrong.
He always doubted that I was loyal to him and always ask if I cheated on him which I never did... he didnt believe me and I got very angry and frustrated and I scared him.... I was fine with breaking up with him but when I would see him at work he would always want to hang out and the same thing would happen all over again... I tried to be the best girlfriend I possibly could but no matter how hard I tried he would never listen to me or understand my point of view... He is very influenced about what everyone else says and do around him. I tried to be the best girlfriend possible but he would never try ... I asked him to get me ASL books so I could understand him better but he never really took the time to really teach me more, I dont know if he did lie for real or not to me, but I really think he did in most cases, I think that he has a mental health issue problem , ive been doing a lot of research lately and it says that Deaf people can be treated for that with the right care and guidance... Another problem that caused a big dent in the relationship is that he found the need to communicate with every pretty girl he saw and would always put me last, but then again I was the only one he could seek pleasure with because of our small town, people knew about his gender issues and were cautious about getting into that situation. He would always say unnecessary things about sex and other stuff which never made any sense.
The reason why I am writing this is because I need help in understanding why he acts the way he does, because he has really scarred me and now I dont know how to cope with it. I dont know if anyone has ever been in my situation, but Im honest when I say i tried everything to help the guy/girl out but it never worked, I tried to tell him that he needs to talk to someone but he would respond with saying I had problems... im so frustrated with it, I need to understand it better.. help

 

[radioman]

ahh .. young love... and romance at work.. no go. believe me you wouldnt want to be working with someone you love. Its too hard to have a conversation when you are done with work.
You have a long road to walk on and its not gonna be easy. First off- time to look for another job. Its gonna go downhill fast, before you know it. I seen it too many times and I been there too. no fun. second- if someone is saying you have a problem and you are only trying to help - its time to move on.

 

[Bebonang]

Most d/Deaf people don't want help from a hearing person unless he or she ask for help. You can not help him that way. That would be a turn off if you tried to help d/Deaf or any disability person. I don't think he or she had a mental problem because he or she chose to be who he or she want to be. You are just only 19 years old, a teenager. Not ready to grow up. If you want to learn ASL, then you should go to the ASL class instead of relying him or her to give you the ASL books or ASL lessons. If he or she want to teach you ASL, then he or she will find the time to teach you but otherwise, it is a pain when you keep bugging him or her to do your becking. If you go to the ASL class, then you will be able to learn about Deaf Culture. Right now it is better if you walk away from this relationship and start a new relationship with any person whether it is a man or woman. But if you continue to look for another d/Deaf person to have the relationship again like before. Then you better let him or her decide for himself or herself without your help. I hope you go into the ASL class at the community college or at a hearing society place or you can ask the VRS (Vocational Rehabilitation Service) about finding you a ASL class. Good luck.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Alright, so I am a 19 year old girl who started to date this guy that was deaf. However this is where things get pretty interesting. I knew him from high school and then I wanted to get to know him because the physical attraction was there. At the time people knew more about him then I did and told me he was born a girl. 2 years later I met him again at a club in our local city, and we started talking, I had remembered that the people informed me he was born a girl but I thought it would be better to find out myself. I did not have a problem with the possibility of him actually being a girl because I accept both sexes and dont base my relationship off gender. Once we hung out a couple of times and I observed closer ... I realised that the aligations were true because I could see wrapping around the breast area to hide any evidence of female parts. Once I confronted that I knew about his secret, it allowed him to open up to me more and found out later he was still biologically a female in search of becoming transgender, I accepted all of it without a doubt, in my view I thought the transgender was more of something to focus on but I think I was wrong.... After we were together for 2 weeks I was able to adapt to the sign alphabet and he taught me basic ASL so I was able to communicate and it made it easier.

However I came up with some issues because we started working at the same place, he was there first... and for some reason when we started working together our relationship went downhill because he was communicating with other people at work and they were talking about me and giving him their opinions and he would listen not knowing right from wrong.
He always doubted that I was loyal to him and always ask if I cheated on him which I never did... he didnt believe me and I got very angry and frustrated and I scared him.... I was fine with breaking up with him but when I would see him at work he would always want to hang out and the same thing would happen all over again... I tried to be the best girlfriend I possibly could but no matter how hard I tried he would never listen to me or understand my point of view... He is very influenced about what everyone else says and do around him. I tried to be the best girlfriend possible but he would never try ... I asked him to get me ASL books so I could understand him better but he never really took the time to really teach me more, I dont know if he did lie for real or not to me, but I really think he did in most cases, I think that he has a mental health issue problem , ive been doing a lot of research lately and it says that Deaf people can be treated for that with the right care and guidance... Another problem that caused a big dent in the relationship is that he found the need to communicate with every pretty girl he saw and would always put me last, but then again I was the only one he could seek pleasure with because of our small town, people knew about his gender issues and were cautious about getting into that situation. He would always say unnecessary things about sex and other stuff which never made any sense.
The reason why I am writing this is because I need help in understanding why he acts the way he does, because he has really scarred me and now I dont know how to cope with it. I dont know if anyone has ever been in my situation, but Im honest when I say i tried everything to help the guy/girl out but it never worked, I tried to tell him that he needs to talk to someone but he would respond with saying I had problems... im so frustrated with it, I need to understand it better.. help

, "I think that he has a mental health issue problem , ive been doing a lot of research lately and it says that Deaf people can be treated for that with the right care and guidance..."


Deaf and HOH people are NO difference from hearing people when it come to getting help for "mental health issues problem" . We get the same treatment as hearing people and NOT need to be treated with extra care or need special guidance. We are not helpless , if anything you sound helpless
if you really wanted to learn ASL why didn't go out any buy the book yourself
instead of blaming the guy for not getting it. I know you're very young but you really should work on yourself instead talking about something you know nothing about. You do not know any about deaf people or their culture to make a statement like that.

 

[Mewtilation]

Alright, so I am a 19 year old girl who started to date this guy that was deaf. However this is where things get pretty interesting. I knew him from high school and then I wanted to get to know him because the physical attraction was there. At the time people knew more about him then I did and told me he was born a girl. 2 years later I met him again at a club in our local city, and we started talking, I had remembered that the people informed me he was born a girl but I thought it would be better to find out myself. I did not have a problem with the possibility of him actually being a girl because I accept both sexes and dont base my relationship off gender. Once we hung out a couple of times and I observed closer ... I realised that the aligations were true because I could see wrapping around the breast area to hide any evidence of female parts. Once I confronted that I knew about his secret, it allowed him to open up to me more and found out later he was still biologically a female in search of becoming transgender, I accepted all of it without a doubt, in my view I thought the transgender was more of something to focus on but I think I was wrong.... After we were together for 2 weeks I was able to adapt to the sign alphabet and he taught me basic ASL so I was able to communicate and it made it easier.

However I came up with some issues because we started working at the same place, he was there first... and for some reason when we started working together our relationship went downhill because he was communicating with other people at work and they were talking about me and giving him their opinions and he would listen not knowing right from wrong.
He always doubted that I was loyal to him and always ask if I cheated on him which I never did... he didnt believe me and I got very angry and frustrated and I scared him.... I was fine with breaking up with him but when I would see him at work he would always want to hang out and the same thing would happen all over again... I tried to be the best girlfriend I possibly could but no matter how hard I tried he would never listen to me or understand my point of view... He is very influenced about what everyone else says and do around him. I tried to be the best girlfriend possible but he would never try ... I asked him to get me ASL books so I could understand him better but he never really took the time to really teach me more, I dont know if he did lie for real or not to me, but I really think he did in most cases, I think that he has a mental health issue problem , ive been doing a lot of research lately and it says that Deaf people can be treated for that with the right care and guidance... Another problem that caused a big dent in the relationship is that he found the need to communicate with every pretty girl he saw and would always put me last, but then again I was the only one he could seek pleasure with because of our small town, people knew about his gender issues and were cautious about getting into that situation. He would always say unnecessary things about sex and other stuff which never made any sense.
The reason why I am writing this is because I need help in understanding why he acts the way he does, because he has really scarred me and now I dont know how to cope with it. I dont know if anyone has ever been in my situation, but Im honest when I say i tried everything to help the guy/girl out but it never worked, I tried to tell him that he needs to talk to someone but he would respond with saying I had problems... im so frustrated with it, I need to understand it better.. help

Honestly, that bold part is the only thing that jumped out and slapped me in the face. ANY person can be treated for that with the right care and guidance... not just the Deaf... If you had that kind of attitude towards him, that might explain some of the issue... Just throwing that out there.

 

[Mewtilation]

Oh see, I'm not the only one that slapped in the face...

 

[authentic]

ive been doing a lot of research lately and it says that Deaf people can be treated for that with the right care and guidance...

He simply do not want you. Time to move on, focus yourself, and find someone else. Don't waste your time chasing him.

 

[kelseyjody]

I agree with them....... u shouldn't need to do research to know that if someone needs help they can get it........ reguardless of d/Deaf or HOH......... we are not impaired or disabled or handicapped....... we are jus people who gained deafness to one degree or another instead of gaining hearing.......... if this guy means a lot to you then you need to seek help on ur own but my suggestion is walk away.....hes not some broken toy you can try to fix

 

[Frisky Feline]

Save your breath. Walk away.