I need some suggestions

[EvilGurl666]

I am 5 months pregant with my first child and the baby's dad and I broke up around beginning of december. He told me that he wants to see the baby. well now its almost March and he hasnt even called once or gone any of the doctor appt with me. Turns out that he doesnt want to take any responsibility of his part being the dad for this baby. and He also says that this baby is not his. Grr that sure makes me mad!!!! so I've been thinking i know after the baby is born i know he is not gonna pay for child support he doesnt even care about this baby at all so. Do you think I should go to court and stop his parental rights. I am afraid after the baby gets older and he is gonna try to take the baby away after these years he not been there for the baby or even pay child support. I dont think its fair for the baby. I know theres a right guy for me and if i ever got married i would like for him to apdot my baby. I've already talked to my mom and family about this and they think this is a good idea. and they are worried about the baby's sake with the father situtation.

 

[DzRikku]

I am 5 months pregant with my first child and the baby's dad and I broke up around beginning of december. He told me that he wants to see the baby. well now its almost March and he hasnt even called once or gone any of the doctor appt with me. Turns out that he doesnt want to take any responsibility of his part being the dad for this baby. and He also says that this baby is not his. Grr that sure makes me mad!!!! so I've been thinking i know after the baby is born i know he is not gonna pay for child support he doesnt even care about this baby at all so. Do you think I should go to court and stop his parental rights. I am afraid after the baby gets older and he is gonna try to take the baby away after these years he not been there for the baby or even pay child support. I dont think its fair for the baby. I know theres a right guy for me and if i ever got married i would like for him to apdot my baby. I've already talked to my mom and family about this and they think this is a good idea. and they are worried about the baby's sake with the father situtation.

well my opintion is u shud go to court for it cuz child do derseve a child support so i am sure judge will force him to pay for it...he has to...but if he said he is not the baby's father then i think court might will have to take their dna and see if it match or not...if ur worry abt him take ur baby away...u may file out the umm protect property something like that so that way if he touch ur property he will go to jail that quickly ur right there is a right guy out there for ya...do u want to keep the baby...follow ur heart do what u really want then go for it...if u really want to keep the baby then go ahead...dont be scare just cuz of ur ex bf just be strong and stand proud to support ur baby and everything...i believe that u will get child support cuz it is law that he has to help to pay for ur baby even thro he dont want to too bad to him... that what my opintion is hope this help u ... :P

 

[sablescort]

You should get DNA testing to prove he is the baby's daddy. Then you can use DNA evidence in court and make him pay child support. My ex wife did that for her 2nd child (3 kids, 3 different daddies including me)

But each story is unique and different. I'd also advise you to RUN, not walk to the nearest lawyer that specializes in family law for more better advice than I cvan give ya.....

 

[EvilGurl666]

I thought that if i go to court against him to make him pay for child support then hes able to take the child away am i wrong? i just dont want him to take the baby away from me. I cant even trust him with the baby cuz he uses drugs with his friends and he smokes too. He even uses drugs while we were together and he tried to make me smoke pot but i refused!!! I know he is the father of the baby cuz hes the only guy i was with. i am not worried about that.

 

[DzRikku]

I thought that if i go to court against him to make him pay for child support then hes able to take the child away am i wrong? i just dont want him to take the baby away from me. I cant even trust him with the baby cuz he uses drugs with his friends and he smokes too. He even uses drugs while we were together and he tried to make me smoke pot but i refused!!!

i suggest u find a very very best lawyer that always won on the case...rare to lose so that way if u won then judge will make sure he wont take the baby away from u...if he do without their permission he will go to jail for sure cuz it wud be called kidnapped...judge will decide if he do derserve to see his own baby as visit or not...but once baby is over 16 or 18 i am not sure then he or she will decide to see father or not...just try to find a best lawyer and tell the judge abt his past that he use drugs and such like that see what judge will say abt it....i am sure he cant take ur baby away cuz it wud be like a kidnapped

 

[EvilGurl666]

Okay thanks!!! i will keep that in mind

 

[Angel]

You go thru the child support in your hometown, and explain the situation and they will make you , your baby, and your ex to take a dna test, once it proves that the baby is really his, then the child support will take him to court, and will make him pay you child support, you wouldn't have to worry about handling the case yourself , the child support will be on your side 100%...Cheri my sister know more about this as she went thru this herself! ...

Good thing is you were never married to him, if you were, you would be going thru this horrible battle with your ex thru court...That's something you rather not to be in a situation like this.....

 

[downing]

Go to a lawyer and have a case against ur baby's father. You have more stronger case on your side, point out that he uses drugs, neglect and doesnt wanna to be involved...as you thought he would but he backed out on his own responisbilites. you want to be responsible for the baby. It is good idea to have a lawyer to help you out and have custodial rights, and get child support from baby's dad...it may be harder if he does not have a job. I hope it does not go there at the point right now.

Best of luck and congrats on your upcoming baby!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I would suggest you to check with your lawyer about the rights like what Angel mentioned about DNA test, support money etc.

I know alot about German rights, it's same description what Angel mentioned in her post but your area??? That's why I would recommend you to check with Welfare/Social service or lawyer about rights.

 

[EvilGurl666]

Thank you all for your replys. Today I talked to my mom and my brother. They do want him to pay for child support. They said to me if he doesnt pay for child support we are taking him down to court and make him pay for child support. My mom and my brother is really upset by the way he is acting. My brother caught him talking to other people saying that the baby is not his and that I slept around my brother wanted to beat the shit out of him. thats why my family is really upset with him spreading lies about me and saying he doesnt want to take responsibilty for the baby well its not right that he spread lies i dont know what to think i am just really upset right now. :liar: to that bastard

 

[Soonersseth]

I know a guy who is 51 and he still pays child support to hi son who is like 25. I dunno the details but it just goes to show the system will get the bastards.

 

[EvilGurl666]

Interesting.... I am deftiely (sp?) gonna get the court to make him to pay for child support

 

[Cheri]

I am 5 months pregant with my first child and the baby's dad and I broke up around beginning of december. He told me that he wants to see the baby. well now its almost March and he hasnt even called once or gone any of the doctor appt with me. Turns out that he doesnt want to take any responsibility of his part being the dad for this baby. and He also says that this baby is not his. Grr that sure makes me mad!!!!

If he denied that the baby is his, after the baby is born you can go to the nearest Child support enforcement and ask to have paternity established, ( genetic testing performed) to proof he is the father of you baby.

so I've been thinking i know after the baby is born i know he is not gonna pay for child support he doesnt even care about this baby at all so. Do you think I should go to court and stop his parental rights.

You cannot stop his parental rights unless he is an unfit father who have a record of crimes, abusive etc.

I am afraid after the baby gets older and he is gonna try to take the baby away after these years he not been there for the baby or even pay child support. I dont think its fair for the baby. I know theres a right guy for me and if i ever got married i would like for him to apdot my baby. I've already talked to my mom and family about this and they think this is a good idea. and they are worried about the baby's sake with the father situtation.

If you get remarried, The husband cannot adopted the baby that isn't his unless the father gives up his parental rights away. Once the genetic testing performed then apply for child support, they look at his employment record how much he makes a year and then worked on the monthly rate for you that you should recived from the absent father, But just remember you cannot count on child support money from him, but he will still owe whatever he hasn't paid to you since birth, he would have to pay that to you even if the child turns 18.

I have two children and my boys father have only paid $900.00 in child support and owes 10,000.00 already and another child which owes 15,000.00 and have not paid anything lately. So like I said you cannot count on child support from the absent father, but he will still owe you for the rest of the child's life whatever left from the balance he owes.

 

[Cheri]

Thank you all for your replys. Today I talked to my mom and my brother. They do want him to pay for child support. They said to me if he doesnt pay for child support we are taking him down to court and make him pay for child support. My mom and my brother is really upset by the way he is acting. My brother caught him talking to other people saying that the baby is not his and that I slept around my brother wanted to beat the shit out of him. thats why my family is really upset with him spreading lies about me and saying he doesnt want to take responsibilty for the baby well its not right that he spread lies i dont know what to think i am just really upset right now. :liar: to that bastard

Don't take cash from him because you going to lose by taking his cash once you go to court and the absent father says he paid you let's say $500.00 the court will believe him before you because you accept the cash even through it wasn't in that amount. It is better to go through child support enforcement cuz they have record to proof how much he is paying so there no false amount how much he already paid and unpaid. If he does not pay child support that he is ordered to pay by the court that child support enforcement says how much he was supposed to pay then you can call up child support enforcement and tell them you want to take him to court they will set up a court date for you and sued him for non payment of child support he will lose his driver license until he pays 10 percent of child support.

 

[Cheri]

I know a guy who is 51 and he still pays child support to hi son who is like 25. I dunno the details but it just goes to show the system will get the bastards.

to his son?? that money suppose to be going to the mother because she the one raised the son and provide him everything. that money should never went to the son to begin with.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

to his son?? that money suppose to be going to the mother because she the one raised the son and provide him everything. that money should never went to the son to begin with.

Yes, the support money goes to his/her child directly only if they are over 18 years old.

(I know that US law from 21 years old and European from 18 years old).

Example:
A child's father paid support money to mother up to 18 years old to take care of child because mother is on her child's guardian up to 18 years old. If the child want study at college/university instead of get job then mother has to re-apply with the proof with reason why the child still need money support then father pay direct to child's bank account instead of mother's account until 27 years old because mother is not longer child's guardian.

Support money payment up to 27 years old if the child goes to college/unvitersity.

Support money payment up to 18 years old if the child has job.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I have two children and my boys father have only paid $900.00 in child support and owes 10,000.00 already and another child which owes 15,000.00 and have not paid anything lately. So like I said you cannot count on child support from the absent father, but he will still owe you for the rest of the child's life whatever left from the balance he owes.

I remember your stated in other thread but I would like to ask you one more question.

As what you stated that the father of your children still owe you amount of child support.

When will you get those amount back?

What if they have no money to pay you back?

Would the court do something to get the father to pay you back what he owe you?

My opinion, I think it's unfair because you are single mother with no child support because you need money to support your children. Why cant they do SOMETHING to get the father of your children to pay you back?

 

[Cheri]

I remember your stated in other thread but I would like to ask you one more question.

As what you stated that the father of your children still owe you amount of child support.

When will you get those amount back?

What if they have no money to pay you back?

Would the court do something to get the father to pay you back what he owe you?
My opinion, I think it's unfair because you are single mother with no child support because you need money to support your children. Why cant they do SOMETHING to get the father of your children to pay you back?

The father would have to have a job to deductions out of his paycheck. If he is working under the table there nothing they can do about it. Yes, I know it sucks all they can do is suspended his driver's license until he pays 10 percent of child support. But if he owes over 20,000.00 then they will issue a warranty out for his arrest for non payment of child support. It is a very difficult issue to resolve. And you know that also the absent father is not allow to filing for bankruptcy, Any back payments owed for child support cannot be included as a debt and cannot be discharged in a bankruptcy proceeding. Also Failure to pay child support, the court would not allowed to stop visitation even if he haven't paid child support, But my son's father have a record and that is why his visitation was revoke, he only allow to get supervior visitation. Collecting child support that the absent father owes is very frustrating when he doesn't follow the court order and outstanding child support balance. Although local child support enforcement agencies can be slow *sigh* I wish they would make stricter laws to enforced.

 

[Cheri]

Yes, the support money goes to his/her child directly only if they are over 18 years old.

(I know that US law from 21 years old and European from 18 years old).

Example:
A child's father paid support money to mother up to 18 years old to take care of child because mother is on her child's guardian up to 18 years old. If the child want study at college/university instead of get job then mother has to re-apply with the proof with reason why the child still need money support then father pay direct to child's bank account instead of mother's account until 27 years old because mother is not longer child's guardian.

Support money payment up to 27 years old if the child goes to college/unvitersity.

Support money payment up to 18 years old if the child has job.

Ahhhh Yes that makes sense, He might be in college. Now I understand it. At first I was confused why the money went to the son not the mother. Thanks for explaining that

 

[WBHarley]

Although local child support enforcement agencies can be slow *sigh* I wish they would make stricter laws to enforced.

Agreed with that..

I went thru that for few years...

ALTHO,, Some judge may make decision whether the child can be adopted by step-father or so due of his history with abuse drugs, neglicets etc..


Example like mine... We had "agreement" his lawyer even "push him to take the offer" he was soo stubborn for almost a year then finally He gave up and let my husband adopted him WHY ? Because He doesn't want go back to jail for NOT paying child support. the court made him go jail 5 days to see how he like it or not for not paying child support.. The judge told him "you could NOT send her 5 dollar ? oh please, I m going to send you to jail for 5 days for not paying child support and I will see you in 6 weeks to see if you improves payment" We went back He wasn't please that my ex didn't pay in FULL payment of what it was suppose to! my ex told him "but you said some payment" The judge told him " I didn't say some payment for these weeks you need to gave at least 60 a week or something.. not only 5 dollar a week" so He told him that If he doesn't improve in 2 months again, He will consider to send him to jail a little longer.. Few weeks later he told to his lawyer and then his lawyer told to my lawyer, then told me that He agreed to let my husband to adopt my kids! so We showed up court with interpreter and Judge gave his approval for my husband to adopt my kids! If my ex didn't let my husband adopt the kids, He would be still owing child support perhaps around 20,000... but at that time it was 10,300 something! We agreed to "drop all of the child support" included backpay etc if he let lance adopt (our lawyer suggest that and We agree that)

My ex did NOT even see my kids, No phone calls, No letters, No birthday cards, no christmas cards etc etc you name it all since 1999 till 2003 When my husband adopted the kids!!! some court may be very harsh but Some court may willingn to "work it out" as long both parents make agreement.. if both are not agreeing then it will be very hard to have another parent to adopt the kid/kids


Wendy