I need advice from the deaf community

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SA seeking help

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I am not deaf but I have a deaf family as neighbors above me. I am learning to live with some of the challenges being below those that don't know how they are effecting their neighbors. They have two children that can hear although husband and wife do not. The toddler is the issue. At all hours he is running and stomping excessively. Even as late as midnight and 1am. I have asked them to try and keep it down after 9pm but it still persists. Now, it appears the Mom is doing it herself on purpose because she's ticked off. How do I address this with tact and kindness? My next step I'm afraid is condo Management which I didn't really want to do.
Advice?
 
I'm sorry you have a neighbor who happens to be a deaf family. Please try to be patience and understanding, when the kids are running around and stomping around.... its the parents way of "hearing" by feeling the vibration. Its also the most basic way of knowing where the kids are and acknowledging someone. I understand the frustration and you can ask them repeatly, yet its not going to stop. Its almost like asking them not to "hear". I'm truly sorry that you have to deal with that. Maybe perhaps you can talk to them and rather than banging on their door, have you consider inviting them for a dinner and get to know each other? Maybe by then, after some communicating, you both may come to understanding with each other and perhaps a better friendship! Deaf people tend to live their life differently than hearing people yet they are the MOST interesting people!! Let me know how this turn out!
 
There were times that I did visit a family with some deaf members and even I could tell that they were kind of "loud" at times. Some time some of the deaf people may not be aware of the noise they're making. There were times that even I wondered "can my next door neighbor hear that?".

How old are the two children? If you could also possibly address to them politely? And possibly even explain to them that their parents may not even be aware of the noise they're making? Although I do see you also mentioning "toddler" in your post?

You brought up a good question. Hope you get some good suggestions or solutions here.

Good luck!
 
I like crazy's suggestion that you try to befriend them first. If you guys are going to be neighbours for a long time then might as well try the best you can to be a friendly neighbour first and contact condo management only as a last resource because that's one bell you wouldn't be able to unring.
 
What a humdinger of a thread!....Deafies (and no fault of their own), don't realize how loud they can be!...And hearing children of deaf parents take advantage of it at times and play loud music, wrestle, yell, etc., in the house.....

A "toddler" running around late at night?...Could be the parents are asleep and not knowing this was going on, which is dangerous in itself....

When I lived in an apartment complex, (and I'm deaf), I told my boys (and they are hearing), that we had to respect our neighbors....keep the TV and music on the down low and absolutely no horse-play in the apartment.....they had to go to the park for that....

I also met my neighbors, and told them that any unnecessary noise that bothered them from my apartment, to please let me know! And my boys knew if they disobeyed me regarding "the noise level" and if I got any complaints from the neighbors or the manager, then they were grounded, big time and their computers, TV, video games, etc., would be taken out for 6 months!...And I was very firm on that.

To this day, I've never had a complaint....

In your case, it's different....And I don't feel that you should be the one having to move to a different floor. If you've done all you can do in asking your neighbors to keep the noise level down so you can sleep and rest in peace, then your only recourse is talking to the manager. But hopefully, the deaf mother will understand the situation and remedy it. She just does not realize the noise level that is affecting you.

Good Luck!
 
It is best to try to work with them, as they are probably unaware of the noise. If you cannot sign, write a note and show it to them while you are there, along with paper and pen. That would give them a way to reply. Assume they are willing to make the changes necessary. If not, then you will need to involve the management.
 
Thanks everyone for the insight. I like the idea of befriending them. I'll have to put aside the frustration of course and try harder to put myself in their shoes. I fear that my requests may be taken as, what do you guys call someone that can hear...a "hearie"?, so I simply would like to stop the running and horse play after, say 8pm. I realize it's too much to ask never to hear the toddler (who is about 3 I'd guess) running and playing. (once heard the kid banging on a toy piano at midnight, clearly the parents must be asleep at this time, not sure how to keep that from happening with a toddler)
I love children and can totally understand the joy of a kids playing but when you're in your bedroom, winding down from your day, watching tv or cooking dinner, you don't really want to hear the banging and running. Since I live in a condo I understand I have to make concessions and so I live with the daytime noise and just go with the flow then but the nighttime stuff I am frustrated about. It has even rattled items on the walls before.
I have written notes before letting them know. I try to be thoughtful when sharing my thoughts of course...sometimes it's not what you're saying so much as how you say it kinda thing. I even gave Mom some flowers with a huge thank you after the initial request. It didn't take long going back to a loud level however. So, subsequent notes were shared and now I think she's ticked. (they left the vibrating alarm on once after they headed off to the airport for vacation and I had to listen to it for 3 hours till I had to get up for work - 3am to 6am...and just got a "sorry").
Anyway, enough venting. I'm going to take the advice you folks have shared. I am very grateful for the insight! You guys are very helpful. I'll let you know how it turns out.
Karen
 
shel90 said:
Or switch floors?
Click to expand...

Good advice. A few years ago when I was in an apartment, I had hearing neighbors that had a 3 year old that ran up and down the hallway, rode her trike in the apt, threw balls against the wall, etc. The manager relocated them for me. It is when I was still working on my degree, and I was often up late hours writing and studying. It doesn't have to be a deaf couple...sometimes it is just inconsiderate hearing people.:cool2:
 
crazy said:
I'm sorry you have a neighbor who happens to be a deaf family. Please try to be patience and understanding, when the kids are running around and stomping around.... its the parents way of "hearing" by feeling the vibration. Its also the most basic way of knowing where the kids are and acknowledging someone. I understand the frustration and you can ask them repeatly, yet its not going to stop. Its almost like asking them not to "hear". I'm truly sorry that you have to deal with that. Maybe perhaps you can talk to them and rather than banging on their door, have you consider inviting them for a dinner and get to know each other? Maybe by then, after some communicating, you both may come to understanding with each other and perhaps a better friendship! Deaf people tend to live their life differently than hearing people yet they are the MOST interesting people!! Let me know how this turn out!
Click to expand...

What parents let a baby stay awake at 1AM!! And I do not buy that crap about 'feeling' where the baby is at 1AM and keeping your neighbors up! The parents should be watching the baby at all time not feeling where it is! If people can't keep the noises after being told it keep people awake it should be reported to the condo manger! I have people that live over me and the
work out and are loud at times. I can hear low sounds better than high one. And I had to ask them to keep the noises down. My condo manger said it was ok to do so.
 
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