I got into an argument with my in-laws

shel90

shel90

Love Makes the World Go Round
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My in-laws are pissed at me cuz I send an email to my sister in law to stop sending me fun emails about the gangster life. Apparently, she is fascinated with that lifestyle and was sending me and many others on the list fun stuff relating to the gang lifestyle like for example, " I am a drop dead sexy gangsta..how about you", which is a survey glorifying the gangster lifestyle.

I sent her an email saying pls do not send me any more stuff relating about the gangster lifestyle because gangs do nothing but bring pain to people's lives and have destroyed many lives, including those of innocent people.

Now, my in-laws called my hubby bitching him out about me not understanding that she is a kid and it was all for fun and how I hurted her feelings by making her feel bad about herself.

I am confused..I was being honest about my feelings of gangs cuz I saw what happened to some families who were impacted by urban gangs and reading on the news how innocent people were shot and killed for no reason by gangsters.

Also, I am a little disgusted that my in-laws arent actually discouraging her from being interested in it and try to divert her interest into more positive stuff.

What do u think? My hubby told me just to leave it alone and that it is not something to be taken seriously about his sister being so fascinated with that kind of lifestyle.
 
Well we get confuse all of time. I usually being honest about my feeling most of time. Be patient and let it take some time. I don't like gang styles anyways.
 
If I was you, I'd just ask her to find out why she sending me emails like that. If it is for fun, tell her that I am not interested with it, or something instead of telling her to stop. Maybe she send you those for fun, because she want you to be happy like her.
 
Shel, wait and see if your request to her to not send you that crap. If she stops, then that's it as far as you are concerned. And if she later succumbs to the gangsta lifestyle, then her family, obviously, including your husband, will have to deal with/suffer for it. If she doesn't, then that's great.
 
authentic said:
If I was you, I'd just ask her to find out why she sending me emails like that. If it is for fun, tell her that I am not interested with it, or something instead of telling her to stop. Maybe she send you those for fun, because she want you to be happy like her.
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She thinks the ganster lifestyle is so cool. She is 14 years old and lives in Suburban DC. She lives in a wealthy neighborhood and her and none of her friends have no idea how destructive the ganster lifestyle is or has been for thousands of people. She and her friends think it is so cool. I just told her to stop sending me these kinds of emails cuz the ganster lifestyle is just too depressing for me cuz it brings back some not so good memories of my encounters with gangs in Phx, AZ.
 
To me if i had that happened and i don't watnt to read them, i just delete them. Or make up a lie saying: "hey, I can't open these kind of emails because it screws up my computer." because my friend does chain mails and it does screw up your computer sometimes because sometimes the chain mails can bring a Virus to your computers. Sorry about your arguement with your in-laws. good luck
 
shel90 said:
My in-laws are pissed at me cuz I send an email to my sister in law to stop sending me fun emails about the gangster life. Apparently, she is fascinated with that lifestyle and was sending me and many others on the list fun stuff relating to the gang lifestyle like for example, " I am a drop dead sexy gangsta..how about you", which is a survey glorifying the gangster lifestyle.

I sent her an email saying pls do not send me any more stuff relating about the gangster lifestyle because gangs do nothing but bring pain to people's lives and have destroyed many lives, including those of innocent people.

Now, my in-laws called my hubby bitching him out about me not understanding that she is a kid and it was all for fun and how I hurted her feelings by making her feel bad about herself.

I am confused..I was being honest about my feelings of gangs cuz I saw what happened to some families who were impacted by urban gangs and reading on the news how innocent people were shot and killed for no reason by gangsters.

Also, I am a little disgusted that my in-laws arent actually discouraging her from being interested in it and try to divert her interest into more positive stuff.

What do u think? My hubby told me just to leave it alone and that it is not something to be taken seriously about his sister being so fascinated with that kind of lifestyle.
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Jeez… Yeah agree with your hubby to leave it alone… if she's emailing you again… then tell and show it to your hubby ok because If your sis in law or anyone join a gangster group, then she cannot leave or quit.. If she does leave then they will hurt or kill! They own you!!!!!! Wonder if she is aware of that?

I do not like gangster too :Ohno:
 
coolgirlspyer90 said:
To me if i had that happened and i don't watnt to read them, i just delete them. Or make up a lie saying: "hey, I can't open these kind of emails because it screws up my computer." because my friend does chain mails and it does screw up your computer sometimes because sometimes the chain mails can bring a Virus to your computers. Sorry about your arguement with your in-laws. good luck
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The thing is that her emails to me are mostly untitled. Sometimes she says hi and just want to see how I was doing and then there are the others relating to the gangster lifestyle so I told her not to send me those anymore and now everyone is all pissed off at me. Oh boy..
 
Oh Shel, sorry to hear that. I don't think you should have to read any emails you don't want to read, so I don't think you should have to apologize for not wanting to read gangsta stuff. It's too bad it got taken further than that by her involving the in-laws. Hopefully over time it will die down and things will be back to normal. If nothing else, tell your in-laws to butt out, that you don't want to read emails about gangsta stuff. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and wants, and if your wants don't include gangsta stuff, then that's all there is to it ... You could always just delete her emails without reading them .. I've done that !
 
shel90 said:
My in-laws are pissed at me cuz I send an email to my sister in law to stop sending me fun emails about the gangster life. Apparently, she is fascinated with that lifestyle and was sending me and many others on the list fun stuff relating to the gang lifestyle like for example, " I am a drop dead sexy gangsta..how about you", which is a survey glorifying the gangster lifestyle.

I sent her an email saying pls do not send me any more stuff relating about the gangster lifestyle because gangs do nothing but bring pain to people's lives and have destroyed many lives, including those of innocent people.

Now, my in-laws called my hubby bitching him out about me not understanding that she is a kid and it was all for fun and how I hurted her feelings by making her feel bad about herself.

I am confused..I was being honest about my feelings of gangs cuz I saw what happened to some families who were impacted by urban gangs and reading on the news how innocent people were shot and killed for no reason by gangsters.

Also, I am a little disgusted that my in-laws arent actually discouraging her from being interested in it and try to divert her interest into more positive stuff.

What do u think? My hubby told me just to leave it alone and that it is not something to be taken seriously about his sister being so fascinated with that kind of lifestyle.
Click to expand...

shel90 said:
She thinks the ganster lifestyle is so cool. She is 14 years old and lives in Suburban DC. She lives in a wealthy neighborhood and her and none of her friends have no idea how destructive the ganster lifestyle is or has been for thousands of people. She and her friends think it is so cool. I just told her to stop sending me these kinds of emails cuz the ganster lifestyle is just too depressing for me cuz it brings back some not so good memories of my encounters with gangs in Phx, AZ.
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Sounds to me that she is wondering if the "grass is greener on the other side."

Sometimes people get complacent in their own lifestyle that they end up being bored and wonder if being in another lifestyle would be more interesting or more fulfilling than what they are already in.

Is your relationship good with her? If so, I would seek out a non-profit organization that is working on turning these gangsta's lives around to introduce her how destructive the lifestyle is.

Make sense?
 
Tousi's advice is good. Also, good advice from all who suggested click "delete" without reading the gangster stuff.

It's a little disappointing that your husband didn't offer more support to you. :(
 
That's sad that the family do not take responsibility for their daughter's action. I wonder how the family was told by the daughter that made them believe she had reasons to be upset. I never understood what's fun about being a gangster, so I cannot relate because I always hear negative things about gangster lifestyles.

An organization like Big Brothers Big Sisters would help her.

Yeah, I am not sure what can be done except block her e-mails. I think you were honest with her, but she doesn't see it that way. Nor do her family.
 
AlleyCat said:
Oh Shel, sorry to hear that. I don't think you should have to read any emails you don't want to read, so I don't think you should have to apologize for not wanting to read gangsta stuff. It's too bad it got taken further than that by her involving the in-laws. Hopefully over time it will die down and things will be back to normal. If nothing else, tell your in-laws to butt out, that you don't want to read emails about gangsta stuff. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and wants, and if your wants don't include gangsta stuff, then that's all there is to it ... You could always just delete her emails without reading them .. I've done that !
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:gpost: I'd also suggest blocking her email. It sounds like that may cause issues, but you don't have to read that stuff if you don't want to. It's a little disappointing that her parents don't step in and inform the girl that some things are just unacceptable. I'm with whoever said that if she continues with her facination, she'll reap what she sows. Unfortunately, so will those around her.

Do what you need to, Shel, and let the chips fall where they may. It's not like they didn't already know how you felt about this issue.
 
It's sad that the parents don't monitor the child's emails and interests. Maybe they're in denial?
 
That's sad! I suggest you talk with your mom in law about her daughter's action. Or you can tell your husband to talk with his lil sister about not send you any junk of gangster email. Gangster is bad for everyone! Why your sister in the law is interesting in gangs? That's not good! Why not her mom can explain to her about gangs for example. It's very dangerous! I used to be gang when I was 14 for short time. My old best friend was bad influence me to do steal anythings from store. She taught me how to fight with other gangs. I was alike it's not good idea. I told her I didn't want to involve the gangs. She stayed away from me. She have a problem with her family. I let her go. I didn't want get into trouble. Gangs are not COOL!
 
Shel - if she thinks being a gangsta is cool... better take her to morgue and see what the gangsta life is about. oh and also take her to clinic because female gangsta is usually raped on regular basis. Obviously - you can't quit from gangsta crew. You're signing your own death warrant.
 
Sorry, shel. You had a right to set your boundaries, though. It's kind of infantile how your inlaws are acting.

I have this issue with a couple of repeat offender pals sending me 'junk' so I set up a special folder for each of them. Their emails get filtered there automatically so I dont have to see garbage in my precious inbox. I check in with these folders once a month to see if there was any 'real' email. This has been okay with me so far.
 
Ohh sorry about that... I have some of friends who always sending me pointless emails and it can be considered as spam, but mostly of the times I just ignore those emails to make those friends realized that I was not interested into those kind of emails.
 
*sits on my rocker chair and takes up a banjo*
Young 'uns sho are plumb easily Paris-Hilton impressionable, what with all the instant gratification 'nd media.

From an anthrolopological viewpoint, gangs may remind your niece on a deep unconscious level of that very human urge to belong to a tribe or a clan. It may have nothing to do with all the violence and flashiness. Just a thought! Have been studying tribalism and neo-tribalism, fascinating stuff.
 
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