I bribe my children

JamieLynn

JamieLynn

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Mom Confessions: I Bribe My Children: Toddler Daily Buzz - CafeMom


Mom Confessions: I Bribe My Children
June 26, 2009 at 6:37 AM by Cafe Cynthia

It's time for a Mom Confession -- because, let's face it, we're real mothers and sometimes it doesn't work the way the parenting books say it should.

This Week's Confession:
-- I bribe my toddlers. I don't care what anybody says, it works.

Except I see as more as a reward system. Little kids need physical or material incentive sometimes. Plus, this is the real world. We nail the deal, we get a raise. We make the best cake, we win a prize.

My kids get money for doing well in preschool, something special for picking up their toys, and chocolate for going potty. It's working out great.

My parents did the same thing for me when I was little, and I turned out fine. I still know how to do good things as an adult without expecting something in return. -- anonymous
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I'm not sure what to think of it... I'm ok when it comes to giving them something for special occasions but not on a daily basis....
 
I don't "bribe" my boys, but I've told them for every "A" they bring home on their report cards, it was $20....never expecting my 12 yr. old to bring home straight "A's"!....And the 14 yr. old 2 "A's"....

So it's gotten quite expensive!...Now, I tell them it's their choice to pick a place to go out to eat!...

I encourage my boys to always "take care of their business" FIRST...such as cleaning their room, brushing their teeth, garbage, liter box...whatever chore is assigned...and I don't pay them, before going to the mall or hanging with friends.

They make their own $$ mowing lawns and washing cars, picking up debris/tree limbs in yards, etc. They find ways to make $$ for whatever they want, and of course at times I will chip in.

I just don't believe in "paying" a child for something that he should do anyhow! And that will follow him in later years. They have to work, and not expect a "hand out" in life....
 
^ That's exactly what I mean...

Housechores (like cleaning their room, etc.) should come naturally (even though you might have to remind them over and over again... :giggle: )

I remember when I was little (elementary grade), I got one dollar every time I had good grades in school (mainly A) just like you said.

But the rule shouldn't be over used...
 
I think it's a nice idea to pay your kids for things they do. Not everything can be money. It can be stuff like dinner, lunch, a trip to Six Flags, etc.

If your kid has a Wii, you can offer to buy them a game of their choice (as long as it meets your rating requirements) if they get all A's. :)

If you're good enough at math yourself, you can easily figure out how much you can afford to pay them for the whole year.

Since most schools have six 6-week periods, that's 6 times the money you will likely be spending.

So, if you're willing to spend $300 for the whole year... that's $50 per 6-week period. If they don't get those A's, that's more money you've saved... and can be used towards a different kind of agreement such as helping around the house, etc. :)
 
I don't really bribe my son....

However my parents did to me when I was a kid. To do my chores, they would pay me 20 dollars a month just to keep my room clean, to have my bed made and to do my homework.

For ever A's I bring home, I get 5 dollars... for every B's I bring home, I get 2 dollars. Yeah I guess you can say that I was quite spoiled. I mostly get A's and B's so I got paid quite often.

I'm thinking about doing that to my son once he hits Middle school, to bribe him to get good grades, to bring A's to home, and for ever A's he get... I'll pay him 5 bucks.
 
My parents never bribed me. They expected a lot from me but I was the one who got the most surprises compared to my sibs.
 
I don't really bribe my son that much. Just very BARELY. But most of the time, when he won't do it or won't clean it. I would tell him go to bed and can't play toys. He said nonono! Then I said then clean it. He listen to me and clean it. Then he don't have to go bed. I know he would never go to bed, he would always listen to me to avoid go to bed. It was like 5pm or whatever. When he done clean, he can go play. That's all.

I don't give reward that much. But sometimes I have to give him something at store when he wanted to push the cart, I have no patient sometimes when he walk really slow, ofc he's only 3. I tried to put him in the cart, he refused and went crazy and would climb out of cart all the times. so I just grab something less $1..like toy car, or bounce ball from 75 cent. He would listen and accept to be in the cart.. But hey, it was a mistake for me to made that way. Because it might keep him doing that from on. Oh well, I only go to store like 5 times in a month so it would be like $5 total. Sometimes, I don't bring him with me to store.
 
Bonuses are a fact of life, even in today's work world. Bonuses can be in the form of money or other forms such as 3-day cruise ship vacation. It's the prize at the end of the carrot stick that provides us the incentives to do better. It could be promotions as well. You might as well call them bribes, too.

*shrugs*
 
I don´t bribed my children.

My parents don´t bribed me.


I don´t beleive to teach my children that material and money is everything but teach them how to manage with money from monthly allowance responsiblity and respect for themselves and others.
 
I'd say it is OK to give the kids money from time to time, only to do it in moderation. It is just not about giving them the money for everything at all the time. We all need to retain that balance in order for the kids to learn about their responsibilities and to learn to maintain their independent living skills.

There are different ways to teach the kids how to maintain that such as allowances, setting up a goal time line for that or a reward that can come out positively for their hard work. Of course, not everything has to be about money but in fact, things does cost money - go figure.

If one were to overdo it - the child could be in an habit of expecting it when they are not really working hard for it and be less deserving of that.
 
I am not sure if it is called Bribe but i know it sounds it is but its reward instead. My parents used to say, if you get A's or B's, I will buy you a game or give you a cash, or anything you wanted. My life turns to be a good, funny, and respected guy.
 
Wal-Mart bribes me, oh wait it is called a JOB!

However I would not pay the child the money straight away just the same way we do not get paid straight away for every day we work, make them wait until the end of the week, wait two, weeks, or until the end of the month before they see their pay. That's when it'll hit that every bit does add up to a decent pay at the end of the month.

You also set up to pay your children based on commission. For example assign your children different chores to be completed each week and pay them by the chore, and offer 'premium pay' for chores that no one really likes to do such as cleaning bathrooms or mowing lawns with a push mower. The pay for these chores should be just be 25 cents higher than the regular paying chores.

This way they will understand that the pay is sometimes better for jobs that no one likes to do, IE - some people would prefer to work in McDonald's running the register than to work in a processing plant. The extra pay is incentive to do that job.

As the kids start earning their own money, they'll have a sense of accomplishment, and they'll get to purchase the things that they desire and they'll feel better about knowing they earned it rather than having it handed it to them.

The kid that mowed the yard all summer and was able to purchase an iPod is probably going to take better care of it versus his buddy who had an iPod given to him just because he wanted one.

The kid that spent all year scrubbing toilets to purchase her prom dress is going to be much more grateful of the prom experience versus the rich girl across town who spent thousands on her dress and is unhappy with her perceived mediocre prom experience.

The kids that earned their keep around the house as youngsters are much more likely to go out and seek a job at 16 where they know they can earn more money and the ones who have everything handed to them hand and foot and received immediate rewards for jobs not well done are the ones that will need to be catered and coddled to in their adult lives.

Children who are taught to work from an early age are much more productive than those who were forced into the workforce as college graduates.
 
Wal-Mart bribes me, oh wait it is called a JOB!

However I would not pay the child the money straight away just the same way we do not get paid straight away for every day we work, make them wait until the end of the week, wait two, weeks, or until the end of the month before they see their pay. That's when it'll hit that every bit does add up to a decent pay at the end of the month.

You also set up to pay your children based on commission. For example assign your children different chores to be completed each week and pay them by the chore, and offer 'premium pay' for chores that no one really likes to do such as cleaning bathrooms or mowing lawns with a push mower. The pay for these chores should be just be 25 cents higher than the regular paying chores.

This way they will understand that the pay is sometimes better for jobs that no one likes to do, IE - some people would prefer to work in McDonald's running the register than to work in a processing plant. The extra pay is incentive to do that job.

As the kids start earning their own money, they'll have a sense of accomplishment, and they'll get to purchase the things that they desire and they'll feel better about knowing they earned it rather than having it handed it to them.

The kid that mowed the yard all summer and was able to purchase an iPod is probably going to take better care of it versus his buddy who had an iPod given to him just because he wanted one.

The kid that spent all year scrubbing toilets to purchase her prom dress is going to be much more grateful of the prom experience versus the rich girl across town who spent thousands on her dress and is unhappy with her perceived mediocre prom experience.

The kids that earned their keep around the house as youngsters are much more likely to go out and seek a job at 16 where they know they can earn more money and the ones who have everything handed to them hand and foot and received immediate rewards for jobs not well done are the ones that will need to be catered and coddled to in their adult lives.

Children who are taught to work from an early age are much more productive than those who were forced into the workforce as college graduates.
 
It's never easy being a parent. But, I really don't like when parents use the bribing methods on their children because it sends the wrong message that their good and bad can be brought. I've seen where parents had bribed a child to stop his/her disruptive behavior, and that's rewarding the bad behavior instead of the good. Another example I've seen a parent who was telling her son that she will do anything that her son wants if he will just stand there and behave.

Bribing can go just too far, How will a child learns that his/her behavior is unacceptable? And just how will they build personal responsibility?


I do give my boys rewards similar to a note of appreciation. When my son brought home straight A's, I applause him for his hard work, and told him we will go out and celebrate it could be going out and get ice cream or dinner. I also reward them if they pull their own weight in helping with chores as a team work. ;)

My kids get money for doing well in preschool, something special for picking up their toys, and chocolate for going potty. It's working out great
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That's not bribing, that's rewarding. :)
 
Cheri said:
That's not bribing, that's rewarding. :)
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Yes, reward is a much better word in this case! :D

If you say it like: "If you clean your room, I will buy you ice-cream" That's bribing. But if you tell your son, "Go clean your room" and he eventually cleans it up all of his own and then you decide to take him out for ice-cream than it's a reward. Rewards are much better!

:cool2:
 
JamieLynn said:
Yes, reward is a much better word in this case! :D

If you say it like: "If you clean your room, I will buy you ice-cream" That's bribing. But if you tell your son, "Go clean your room" and he eventually cleans it up all of his own and then you decide to take him out for ice-cream than it's a reward. Rewards are much better!

:cool2:
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That's right. Bribes are when you tell your child in advance what kind of behavior or expectations you want from a child, a reward are offered after the fact without telling a child in advance. It doesn't sends the wrong message to a child. :)
 
moving to riverside november 1st

Do you know of any babysitters or childcare centers that have caretakers taht know ASL. my daughter is 3 and deaf and she will need after school care while Im working.
I could relate to your post so I thought I would ask you. Im a deaf mother ,a another deaf motheras a sitter, or someone with deaf children would be good for my daughter


Lori

QUOTE=JamieLynn;1365135]Mom Confessions: I Bribe My Children: Toddler Daily Buzz - CafeMom





I'm not sure what to think of it... I'm ok when it comes to giving them something for special occasions but not on a daily basis....[/QUOTE]
 
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