I am so sad

[Pikula]

I signed the papers to give guardianship to my parents to take care of my son because I am not only partially deaf, but I'm also schizoaffective depression disordered.

I had a lot of low self-esteem and less confidence that I could take care of my son due to my illness, so I gave guardianship to my parents.

Right now, my mom is giving me a hard time and won't let me see my son at my place, and won't let him spend the night with me. I have to go there in order to see him which is only 5 hours every Saturday.

I miss him so much. But during his first 5 years of his life, I took care of him on my own, and I think I did a hell of a good job. He is very smart and get A+ in his report cards. He is so smart. Probably cuz he has asian blood. LOL Korean. :P just kidding. Trying not to be racist. He's excellent in math, of course.

Anyway, right now, my son does not want me to smoke or drink at all anymore, but I drink sometimes. I don't smoke anymore. I smoke ecig now. Electronic cigarette. I haven't smoked a real cigarette in a long time. It's really hard to deal with your life when you have a mental illness. 90% schizophrenics smoke, that's a fact. I don't know what the percentage of them drinking, though, but I'm sure it's a lot. I got to a special chatroom for support. I have a lot of online friends. I don't go out much to socialize with real people due to my mental illness. I fear people, especially strangers.

but when I'm with my son, my depression disappears and I'm so happy to be with him. And I'm very responsible, I never drink around him. I am hardly ever on the computer when he's with me. He has my full attention. I would like to educate him about the world and to love people, and respect people of the world. I think he will become an engineer when he grows up because he loves to build things.

He's a wonderful child. I think I'm a wonderful parent. He said he misses me, so I know I'm doing good.

well, that's all I have to say

 

[Frisky Feline]

First of all, I am sorry about your son. I hope some day you may move and get closer to your son if things work out for you. I still think you are a great mother, no matter what if you feel that way. so I agree getting lot of supports from online is a great way to keep yourself busy.

I hope you stick around here and learn something that you have not.

welcome.

 

[Pikula]

Thank you

First of all, I am sorry about your son. I hope some day you may move and get closer to your son if things work out for you. I still think you are a great mother, no matter what if you feel that way. so I agree getting lot of supports from online is a great way to keep yourself busy.

I hope you stick around here and learn something that you have not.

welcome.

THank you!

 

[Smithtr]

Sorry I understand to hear your reading to mental really suffer to you alots of illness
it is really mood swing adjustment to really tough. It is very high mood.I believe development take an time patient...

sound look likes bipolar disorder. It is complication really serious.

mood swing is very up to easy mood swing to easy emotional depression. control your depression mood swing down to uptime. few people have really suffer really hard understood frustrated.

It really complication bipolar disorder. I think so uneasy. it is mood swing control your routine. I understood really depression some. I aware familiar
bipor disoder

Maybe you help for specialist to cope manage for professional .quality.

people have advise to you lifestyle how quality teach how professional. Many problem suffer mostly really really some depression affect to bipolar disorder It really rough for you

Would be execrise help for you will better improve good for you.Not sure exactly depend your your depression mood swing. it is said complication really very serious depression mostly bipolar disorder not healthy for people. that is right.

I recommand counselor teach you quality hope be you improve

 

[Silvara]

I think you are a very good mother Pikula. If you were a bad mother you would not feel so terrible about the situation. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take away all your suffering. You are a good person. Don't ever forget that!

 

[Pikula]

Hello

Sorry I understand to hear your reading to mental really suffer to you alots of illness
it is really mood swing adjustment to really tough. It is very high mood.I believe development take an time patient...

sound look likes bipolar disorder. It is complication really serious.

mood swing is very up to easy mood swing to easy emotional depression. control your depression mood swing down to uptime. few people have really suffer really hard understood frustrated.

It really complication bipolar disorder. I think so uneasy. it is mood swing control your routine. I understood really depression some. I aware familiar
bipor disoder

Maybe you help for specialist to cope manage for professional .quality.

people have advise to you lifestyle how quality teach how professional. Many problem suffer mostly really really some depression affect to bipolar disorder It really rough for you

Would be execrise help for you will better improve good for you.Not sure exactly depend your your depression mood swing. it is said complication really very serious depression mostly bipolar disorder not healthy for people. that is right.

I recommand counselor teach you quality hope be you improve

Actually, I have schizoaffective depression disorder.

 

[Pikula]

Thank you Silvara!

I think you are a very good mother Pikula. If you were a bad mother you would not feel so terrible about the situation. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take away all your suffering. You are a good person. Don't ever forget that!

Thank you hon

 

[Konijnen]

It seems like you are truly teaching your son about love through your grace in what must be a very difficult sacrifice. He is lucky to have you!

 

[Smithtr]

Actually, I have schizoaffective depression disorder.

yes it is correct. really high my anxiety disorder really some some depression really. I wonder I research I have quetiapine (Seroquel) doesn't work for me
Anxiety really problem on my health. I have some really rough I have normal healthy no negative blood stranger...everything. I do activities.

your not alone. It is uneasy it is problem tough is very depression. I have problem adjustment. torpimate is some same to likes Epvial.. It complicate. I have some adjustment mood swing. hmm I research..

Anxiety is control some alikes depression.

It is difficult for depression for medication for adjustment. I think so which anxiety/depression. I am not sure which anxiety approximate level. ..

not misdiagnose for bipolar disorder for me that is correct.I believe Anxiety disorder approximate depression high affect to adjustment to mood some depression easy.

bipolar disorder really worst to mood swing means mood down to up. It is awful mood adjustment easy crazy that is itself days or night. sound look likes uneasy.


some diagnose Schizoaffective Disorder research.

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Se...Management/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=23043

 

[samdanny]

Hello babe

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Did you have a lawyer help you write out the papers and what your visiting rights would be and if you would be allowed to see your son along ? I sound likes you did not made any ground rules with your parents . I am sorry you are going through this, it has to very hard and painful not being able to see your son as much as you want to. If you don't mind me asking , were you press into letting your parents be your child legal guidance ?

 

[Bebonang]

This was way back in January of this year. She has not respond since then. I do hope everything is okay with Pikula. I am sad, too, for her. You never know that she might be forced to give her guardianship for her son over to her parents. Maybe not. This is her decision. The problem is that it is a hard decision to make handing him over legally. She should have a visitor rights or custody rights with her Legal Aid lawyer.

Right now, it is too late as it was many months not being here on post. She only made 16 posts so far on this. I hope she come back.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

This was way back in January of this year. She has not respond since then. I do hope everything is okay with Pikula. I am sad, too, for her. You never know that she might be forced to give her guardianship for her son over to her parents. Maybe not. This is her decision. The problem is that it is a hard decision to make handing him over legally. She should have a visitor rights or custody rights with her Legal Aid lawyer.

Right now, it is too late as it was many months not being here on post. She only made 16 posts so far on this. I hope she come back.

Thank! I forgot to check when this thread was posted .

 

[sonocativo]

Why would she give up her son after 5 years? She had him through the hardest years, now he will spend most of his day at school? Helping with homework and hygene is the least of the work.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Why would she give up her son after 5 years? She had him through the hardest years, now he will spend most of his day at school? Helping with homework and hygene is the least of the work.

Good question , that is why I asked if she was press into doing this . We do not have all the facts so it's hard to know why she did this. She has not been back for awhile so I hope she is OK.

 

[caz12]

yes hope she ok..she seem be suffering