how to get close to a deaf person?

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Ani314

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Hello! I'm a spanish hearing girl, I go to the gym and there's an attractive guy which called my eyes, he happened to be deaf, I dont know ASL, but I was planning taking a course, so I know some signs, my name hi and so on. It was so difficult to meet him , he always goes on his own,so serious face, doesnt talk to anyone . I found an excuse and asked him to help me to do weightlifting, after that I said sth stupid like it's hot today, and then i told him my name signing and he told me he was learning ASL for 2 years,I told him i thought ASL was so interesting and I was going to take a course, then he keep doing exercise and i tried start the conversation again, after that he asked me how old I was, we both are 23 ,and then he left. I don't know how to get close to him, 8 days later I saw him there, I was a little far from him and I signed how are you? and he just moved his lips said fine and then he left. I really like him I wanna meet him.
Thanks everybody
 
Just keep on talking to him...and see if you can become friends and then go from there. Maybe he is shy.
 
u see I dont wanna annoy him, I've seen he has a scar next to his ear and I know he uses a hearing aid on the street, I know it 'cause he's client from the same beautician as me, the beautician is my friend and she told me about it.
Thanks for all your replies.
 
He may not be interested (married, gay, taken) in you? It might be because he's hearing impaired but it might not. Shel's tact is solid.
 
I don't dare to ask him out, I'll try the advice of trying to talk and see how he reacts.
Thanks
 
Bottesini said:
I wouldn't. All his actions say he doesn't want anything to do with her.
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That's why I say go for it. Get it over with.

There are two possibilities here:

1) He does like you but he is just really shy and socially awkward, in which case if you make the first move, it might be just what he needs to get some confidence and take this thing to the next step.

2) He doesn't like her, for whatever reason, so he'll just say no and she can get on with her life and move on to something else.

If they start striking up a friendship, it's going to make it that much harder when/if he rejects her, so better to do it now.

Don't pussyfoot around.
 
The guy may just want to work out and not talk. Try asking him if he would would mind studying sign language with you sometime at a coffee shop or some place to get a drink or snack after you both work out. If he show no interest in going this , I would move on. Who know ,the guy could had just broken with a girlfriend or boyfriend and want to time out!
 
Ani314 said:
I don't know how to get close to him, 8 days later I saw him there, I was a little far from him and I signed how are you? and he just moved his lips said fine and then he left. I really like him I wanna meet him.
Thanks everybody
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That right there should be your 'sign' that he is not really interested in you.

Even shy people would show a little bit of interest.
 
Ani314, what I should suggested since he mentioned to you, he learned sign language 2 years. Secondly, you said you seen he has a scar next to his ear. I don't know if this imply as late deafness and it can be tramatic for him to change his life. It take a while for him to adjusted, like seeing someone approach to him and talking (in trying to sign to him) and he got uncomfortable. That is one possibility. So, what I would say the best method to say "you learned sign language 2 years? I'm planning to take a sign language course and I want to learn more. It would be great if we can learned together if you are comfortable with it??" As an example.... so, you'll know that it doesn't matter if he's gay or he's taken or whatever but it will give you chance to meet up again and learn sign language. Just keep on trying to talk to him and be aware of his intent.
 
SneakerNet said:
Ani314, what I should suggested since he mentioned to you, he learned sign language 2 years. Secondly, you said you seen he has a scar next to his ear. I don't know if this imply as late deafness and it can be tramatic for him to change his life. It take a while for him to adjusted, like seeing someone approach to him and talking (in trying to sign to him) and he got uncomfortable. That is one possibility. So, what I would say the best method to say "you learned sign language 2 years? I'm planning to take a sign language course and I want to learn more. It would be great if we can learned together if you are comfortable with it??" As an example.... so, you'll know that it doesn't matter if he's gay or he's taken or whatever but it will give you chance to meet up again and learn sign language. Just keep on trying to talk to him and be aware of his intent.
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I disagree with you about telling Ani314 to keep on talking to the guy! If the guy does not show any interest after Ani314 try once more to talk to him . she should leave the guy along! And the guy does NOT have any intention , he is not the one trying to get together,. The guy should be the one that keep his guide up ! Ani314 would be stalking the guy if she keep following him!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I disagree with you about telling Ani314 to keep on talking to the guy! If the guy does not show any interest after Ani314 try once more to talk to him . she should leave the guy along! And the guy does NOT have any intention , he is not the one trying to get together,. The guy should be the one that keep his guide up ! Ani314 would be stalking the guy if she keep following him!
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Oh boy... It's the guy responsibility to tell her "I'm sorry, I'm not interested, I'm gay...." or "Please stop bothering me", or "It's nice to meet you but I have other life to take care of it" or "Sorry, I'm taken..so fuck off" or whatever he says!!! So, if she bothered him, I'm sure he will bring something to say.

Secondly, it's Ani314 responsibility to say, "I'm I bothering you? If I do, I will stop!" or "Want to be a team workout? I need some kind of motivation to keep in shape?" Or if your definitons "stalking" saying "I wanna fuck you", then I'm sure he will call the cop.
 
TheWriteAlex said:
That's why I say go for it. Get it over with.

There are two possibilities here:

1) He does like you but he is just really shy and socially awkward, in which case if you make the first move, it might be just what he needs to get some confidence and take this thing to the next step.

2) He doesn't like her, for whatever reason, so he'll just say no and she can get on with her life and move on to something else.

If they start striking up a friendship, it's going to make it that much harder when/if he rejects her, so better to do it now.

Don't pussyfoot around.
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Sometimes, out of these a good friendship can form. It has happened to me. I used to like the guys but they didnt feel the same for me and I ended up friends with them. It is up to the OP's ability to handle rejection.
 
Wirelessly posted

Sounds like an oral deaf.They don't alway like to talk much. Especially if they can't understand you well. Keep trying talk to him and be yourself and he'll tell you how he like to communicate.
 
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