oh yeah ,
Dixie i love your post on this one, right on, its like a 'sweet revenge' without actual intent to harm , just a 'naive concept of fairness. WHILE it is NOT a naviety as per se, it is just exactly that's how a hearing git ought to KNOW before bullying a deaf person, at all, whatever and whenever the timeline of a deaf person lives. Childhood naivety is no excuse for older children or adults to 'unwittingly' abuse us !! feeling powerless in the past have left you feeling like shit and really hurt, and yes I DO not blame you 100% for feeling you've wished you had the power to choose and even SNOB of from the mean, horrible hearings... and so on, because I know and im SURE MOST people in in alldeafs (and deaf around the world) would share that feelings of helplessness at some point in time.
You may have also wondered that the hearing kids in the past, especially the good ones, the type you may always wished to got to know but never did. For that particular one who didnt annoy you seem to possess something magical because they never got teased. That type seem to had weilded some more 'power of wisdom' regardless that they were 'smarter' , it was more like how did they got to become more 'godly' than you? you began to ask question secretly in some ways, why 'life' were magically easy for them. Was it the more protection they received in schools because they were rich? maybe.
It was because like they KNEW from being shown very early about confidence (confidence tricks was imposed through familinal cultural practuces) as a child (that kid(s) you went to early school with) were not consciously aware of how they were cleverly taught the superior {hearing culture} and perhaps more affluent class background played a factor as well. Also the cultural captial was at effect. So I really liked your post...its an excellent topic I dont think anyone should scoff at you for this statement so cheers !!
If I could change things this is what I would change:
I would change all the people I hurt
I would take my enemies obscenities and leave them like lovers gone.
I would take advantage of the moments wasted
I would pursue the dreams I had with more tenacity
I would change the things I could have changed then.
I would tell my dad to let me be when I was 5
I would have turned down my ex-husband's permission for that first date
I would go back and tell my reflection its not your fault for being who you are.
I would have gone back and told the person I am in love with now my true feelings instead of letting them slip away from me.
I would have not been ashamed to be deaf for all those years, instead I would tell myself to embrace it, its a part of who you are, it makes you human.
secretblend , you seem to have been watching 'Butterfly effect' film too much, and have you really "learned how to help others do better"? I am sorry but I disagree with this sort of nonsense, its liken to make excuse for the mean people.
I dont believe in forgiveness, that is a damned lie proclaimed from christianity, OK, I reckon we could have a trick, lets say for each and for every single person born, they should be allowed one chance to kill one person for whatever (for a damned good )reason but no second chance to seek justice in this kind. For example, eye for an eye, hate for hate tease for tease. Or scorn swapped for tease. It would certainly teach people to think twice (really!) because they'd all would know they only have one chance for retribution AND having understand that, they knows they are ALSO liable to receive that treatment too. So I think not much for 'learning to what? and help because frankly it is dreaming to believe everyones is nice, not so (or potentially)
It is like being so idealistic and not having a clue about how philosophical discourse could be taken entirely somewhere else to elict radical form of justice which indeed imply a social order vastly different from the current 'rules' which enable the wicked to cheat and cheat death.
