how I can get my lover to understand

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littlegirl6975

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:squint: hello everyone,
my husbent, just lost hes hearing, and I cant sign all that good.
and what im trying to say is that i wasnt good in school. im slow :squint:
and I feel that my hubby gets man at me because im not doing a good job in
signing yet. But if someone cant read then what do they do :squint:
 
I will make your post little more clear for members to understand:

basically what she try to say is that her husband losing hearing and it get frustrated enough that she is not doing too good at signings and her husband get mad at her for not work too hard.


Ok here my comment to you little girl:

I suggest you and your husband sit down talk about this. Try tell him it is really hard to learn signs and it going take long time to be able to sign easy for him. HE need to HELP you learn signs such as if you forget one sign and he can remind you again or show you sign for that word that you forgot.
 
littlegirl6975 said:
:squint: hello everyone,
my husbent, just lost hes hearing, and I cant sign all that good.
and what im trying to say is that i wasnt good in school. im slow :squint:
and I feel that my hubby gets man at me because im not doing a good job in
signing yet. But if someone cant read then what do they do :squint:
Click to expand...
Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you are doing better than you think. Learning how to sign does take time. No one learns it overnight. :) Keep trying, and don't give up.

Some of your hubby's anger is probably not really about you. If he recently lost his hearing, he is probably frightened and frustrated, angry at the world, and confused. Many men don't want to show the world that they are afraid or confused. So they use anger instead. Sometimes they don't even want the world to see their feelings, but they feel it is "safe" to show their negative feelings to the wife. So don't think all the anger is about you.

How are you learning signs? Do you attend classes? Do you know other people who sign?

There are different ways to learn signing. If you are depending on books, that might be the wrong way for you to learn. Please let us know what way you are using. I and the other members here might have good suggestions for you, for easier ways to learn.

Hang in there. :hug:
 
Can you change somebody else? Most of people LOVE to try to change and fix somebody else. Usually makes situation worse. The real answer is ONLY person is him/herself CAN change, nobody else can.
 
well my hubby helps me and no im not in class. he is and we dont have the money for both of us to go. so its better that he gos to class. i need somthing on the comp that well show me how to sign. no reading i have a hard time with that sorry
 
It not your fault that you are unable to sign as good as he would want you to, he should be supportive, and understanding toward you since he is your husband, he should be showing more love toward you then getting mad at you just cause you can't sign as good, It not too late to learn isn't it? so tell your husband to be a bit more patient while he give you some room and space to learn more and to sign better ;)

Good luck girl! :hug:
 
Maybe you can both take a sign language course - if he is losing his hearing, then I assume that ASL is not his first language either. If that's the case, he should know how difficult it is to just learn a new language completely - and ASL IS that. It's a gorgeous language, if you ask me...

...so check out the local community college - sign yourselves up and see if you can jump this fence together. It will show him that you are being supportive and you want to ensure that you and he maintain communication. I also agree with Reba...he is more than likely angry for more than not being able to hear you. It is possible that becoming late deafened is taking an incredible toll on him. Be patient with him...and see what you can do as far as taking the classes. It's a lot of fun, I promise. I loved ASL!
 
Here are some helpful links:

http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm

http://where.com/scott.net/asl/

http://www.lifeprint.com/

Contact your local and state groups of National Association of the Deaf. Each state has a group. Here is the list:
http://www.nad.org/site/pp.asp?c=foINKQMBF&b=132858
They might be able to tell you places you can meet Deaf people, such as Silent Dinners or other social activities.

Has your hubby contacted local VR (Vocational Rehab) services? Sometimes they offer free services, or will pay for his sign language courses. Each state does it differently, so he needs to ask. If the state is willing to pay for his classes, maybe you will be able to afford to take classes yourself.

Check your local library for free sign language tapes that you can borrow.

I hope you can find a class or a Deaf friend to teach you sign language. Sometimes hubbys are not the best teachers. Like hubbys teaching wives to drive, it is not always a good idea. :)
 
you really should be going to class if he wants you to learn. ideally, you both should be going to the same class that way you can come home and review and practice together.

check around at service agencies for the deaf. sometimes they have sign classes for deaf non-signers and their families.

also, your husband needs to keep in mind that not everyone learns everything at the same pace. it may take you longer than him, but i think it's sweet that your at least trying. my girlfriend has kind of given up.

also, keep in mind....it's kind of scary and frusterating to be loosing your hearing. if you loose it quickly, the change is a shock. if you loose it slowly, you feel uncertain about how much of it you're going to loose....i nearly dropped sign when i started to loose my hearing. at first i stopped associating with most deaf people, then i stopped voluntairly associating with any hearing people. i just felt out of place everywhere for a while. give him some time. he might not really be frusterated with you, or not as much as you might think.
 
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