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holly_potter

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get a boyfriend? I've never dated, and thought I'd find somebody in college. Well, plenty of nice guys, but I'm afraid I'm scaring all of them away since they know I'm hoh. Or they mumble to me, and then I have to guess what they're saying (guys and girls both), and then I say something back, and I look stupid, because my response has nothing to do with what they were saying!
My mom's been hinting, giving advice about marriage, but I hate to tell her everything, because she probably doesn't know what to tell me to do. My best friend, well...she doesn't quite understand, so I haven't told her. My brother told me I need to get out more, talk to more people, but I told him, people keep asking me for my phone number, and seem disappointed when I offer only my email.

So, what I was wondering, does anybody have any advice for getting a date, and for telling guys how to communicate with me without getting their feelings hurt, or making them OVER-accomodate me? (I hate that! I'm deaf, not stupid!) or just general advice about dating and marriage for deaf/hoh.

:ty::ty::ty:
 
holly_potter said:
get a boyfriend? I've never dated, and thought I'd find somebody in college. Well, plenty of nice guys, but I'm afraid I'm scaring all of them away since they know I'm hoh. Or they mumble to me, and then I have to guess what they're saying (guys and girls both), and then I say something back, and I look stupid, because my response has nothing to do with what they were saying!
My mom's been hinting, giving advice about marriage, but I hate to tell her everything, because she probably doesn't know what to tell me to do. My best friend, well...she doesn't quite understand, so I haven't told her. My brother told me I need to get out more, talk to more people, but I told him, people keep asking me for my phone number, and seem disappointed when I offer only my email.

So, what I was wondering, does anybody have any advice for getting a date, and for telling guys how to communicate with me without getting their feelings hurt, or making them OVER-accomodate me? (I hate that! I'm deaf, not stupid!) or just general advice about dating and marriage for deaf/hoh.

:ty::ty::ty:
Click to expand...

I think its a smart thing you give a guy your email, even hearing people like myself have seen other hearing girls give their email instead of phone numbers. Bec your just getting to know the person, even an aim is good just surprised that hearing guy would be disappointed since we are living in a technology world emails/aims have been booming for communication. Even young people like high school have sidekicks text messaging, its probably safer to do this then an actual phone number that's just my opinion.

Maybe, go to deaf socials and meet people that way, there is always places to meet people in social gatherings. Hope that helps you.
 
^^Good advice....:thumb: Hope it does indeed help you...and yes, getting 'out' some helps too, not just to meet others, but for yourself as well, builds up confidence--;)

Now as for oceanblue7, all she needs to do now is get a plane ticket and................ :-X

:lol:





~RR
 
It may help to try to make Internet friends, since the guy can get to know you before you have to tell him that you're HoH. And if he doesn't accept your HoH-ness, then he just isn't right for you...

I hope that helps and good luck!
 
holly_potter said:
get a boyfriend? I've never dated, and thought I'd find somebody in college. Well, plenty of nice guys, but I'm afraid I'm scaring all of them away since they know I'm hoh. Or they mumble to me, and then I have to guess what they're saying (guys and girls both), and then I say something back, and I look stupid, because my response has nothing to do with what they were saying!
My mom's been hinting, giving advice about marriage, but I hate to tell her everything, because she probably doesn't know what to tell me to do. My best friend, well...she doesn't quite understand, so I haven't told her. My brother told me I need to get out more, talk to more people, but I told him, people keep asking me for my phone number, and seem disappointed when I offer only my email.

So, what I was wondering, does anybody have any advice for getting a date, and for telling guys how to communicate with me without getting their feelings hurt, or making them OVER-accomodate me? (I hate that! I'm deaf, not stupid!) or just general advice about dating and marriage for deaf/hoh.

:ty::ty::ty:
Click to expand...

Are you still in college now? If so, I'm at Minnesota State University Moorhead and I would be proud to date you!

Another thing, you may want to have your hearing aids set on louder than they are right now, but not in a noisy environment (cafeteria). Smile a lot, but not so much that they think you have gas. :giggle: Smile and mouth the words, "hi!" and be friendly. Keep the door open to your dorm room, regardless. If it's messy, straighten it up. First impressions do count, so this is an area you don't want to be guilty of. If you can have any scents in there, like a plug in, do so. Dress nice all the time and act nice. Don't forget the occasional ;) to the guys, of whom you think are cute and are not with their girlfriends.
 
pek1 said:
Are you still in college now? If so, I'm at Minnesota State University Moorhead and I would be proud to date you!

Another thing, you may want to have your hearing aids set on louder than they are right now, but not in a noisy environment (cafeteria). Smile a lot, but not so much that they think you have gas. :giggle: Smile and mouth the words, "hi!" and be friendly. Keep the door open to your dorm room, regardless. If it's messy, straighten it up. First impressions do count, so this is an area you don't want to be guilty of. If you can have any scents in there, like a plug in, do so. Dress nice all the time and act nice. Don't forget the occasional ;) to the guys, of whom you think are cute and are not with their girlfriends.
Click to expand...
Just for the heck of it, flirt 'em all!
 
Just be yourself.. do not be ashamed of yourself because you are hoh. there are plenty of men out there that don't mind having a deaf or hoh lady. You just have to be more sociable, be friends with them first and get to know them before going any further. I, for one, never had a boyfriend that's from my state. I know em all too well and not exactly my type. Til 7 years ago, I met my man and he's actually from my state. I married him.. Just give yourself time and




DON'T GO TRYING TOO HARD TO LOOK FOR A GUY. LET IT FLOW! and BE yourself!

I assumed you're young and shy???

tsk.. time to get out of your shyness!!!!
 
The dating scene .....

I dread the dating scene and one day I guess I will be into dating.

One sure way to get into the dating scene is by your hobbies and things
that you enjoy doing. This will enhance sharing something in common.
If you like doing something that is unisex like; softball, chess, pool among
other things,then your chances of meeting the opposite sex is greater.

I can think of several place right off hand where the men are! :)
Golfing, fishing party boats, at Lowe's hardware store and other places.
I hate the singles bar unless you are into dancing then you will meet a
dancer.

Hope this helps you.
 
RebelGirl said:
Just be yourself.. do not be ashamed of yourself because you are hoh. there are plenty of men out there that don't mind having a deaf or hoh lady. You just have to be more sociable, be friends with them first and get to know them before going any further. I, for one, never had a boyfriend that's from my state. I know em all too well and not exactly my type. Til 7 years ago, I met my man and he's actually from my state. I married him.. Just give yourself time and




DON'T GO TRYING TOO HARD TO LOOK FOR A GUY. LET IT FLOW! and BE yourself!

I assumed you're young and shy???

tsk.. time to get out of your shyness!!!!
Click to expand...

That I have to agree..go with the flow is the best thing and be yourself. Do not try to be someone else to get someone to like u. It will only backfire later. There are plenty of hearing men who have no problems dating deaf or hoh people. My hubby is hearing and learned sign language when he first met my friends and I. My deafness is not an issue with him and we always communicate via pager since he got one to meet my needs.


Continue to do what makes u comfortable and the right guy for u will not make an issue out of what u do or meeting your needs.

Good luck!
 
thanks to you all for your advice!
I'm still in college, so I have some time...(in NE)
It's great to hear sucess stories :) Don't you just love it when people do sweet things like get IM just to make you happy?
after writing my last post a boy started talking to me for hours on IM...:D
me: "you don't want to hear me sing"
him:" I doubt you're worse than me"
me: "remember, I'm hard of hearing :)"
him: "I don't mind"
me: :)
him: "I really don't mind! :)"


so....only two days on AD and I'm feeling at home and happy :)
:ty::ty::ty::ty:
 
pek1 said:
Are you still in college now? If so, I'm at Minnesota State University Moorhead and I would be proud to date you!

Another thing, you may want to have your hearing aids set on louder than they are right now, but not in a noisy environment (cafeteria). Smile a lot, but not so much that they think you have gas. :giggle: Smile and mouth the words, "hi!" and be friendly. Keep the door open to your dorm room, regardless. If it's messy, straighten it up. First impressions do count, so this is an area you don't want to be guilty of. If you can have any scents in there, like a plug in, do so. Dress nice all the time and act nice. Don't forget the occasional ;) to the guys, of whom you think are cute and are not with their girlfriends.
Click to expand...


Good Luck ;)
 
SuziMaria said:
I dread the dating scene and one day I guess I will be into dating.

One sure way to get into the dating scene is by your hobbies and things
that you enjoy doing. This will enhance sharing something in common.
If you like doing something that is unisex like; softball, chess, pool among
other things,then your chances of meeting the opposite sex is greater.

I can think of several place right off hand where the men are! :)
Golfing, fishing party boats, at Lowe's hardware store and other places.
I hate the singles bar unless you are into dancing then you will meet a
dancer.

Hope this helps you.
Click to expand...

Yeah, Im not marrying again to somebody who doesn't like golf and softball. It just ain't gonna happen
 
holly_potter, one teensy tinesy thing in your thread jumped out at me. do you hold a grudge against deaf or hoh men?

So, what I was wondering, does anybody have any advice for getting a date, and for telling guys how to communicate with me without getting their feelings hurt, or making them OVER-accomodate me?

advice? what about dating deaf or hoh men? :dunno2: :confused:
 
holly_potter said:
thanks to you all for your advice!
I'm still in college, so I have some time...(in NE)
It's great to hear sucess stories :) Don't you just love it when people do sweet things like get IM just to make you happy?
after writing my last post a boy started talking to me for hours on IM...:D
me: "you don't want to hear me sing"
him:" I doubt you're worse than me"
me: "remember, I'm hard of hearing :)"
him: "I don't mind"
me: :)
him: "I really don't mind! :)"


so....only two days on AD and I'm feeling at home and happy :)
:ty::ty::ty::ty:
Click to expand...


Try and get him to meet you at a place in public, like a restaurant. Don't go there alone, though. You should have a friend along just in case. When you decide to meet, make sure you ask him what is he wearing (what color shirt, what color pants, what color is his hair, as well as if it's long or short). If he doesn't want to tell you or averts you to somewhere "more private," don't go there.

Your friend can either sit with you while you meet him or he/she can sit at a table nearby and observe only. If something goes wrong, your friend will see it and come over and get you out of there. Please be safe. :)
 
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