How weird! My experience is always denial, people don't like the idea of something being "wrong" with children so if I ever say she's hoh or she is speech and language delayed they pounce on everything she can do and say "But look, she can do..." and pick an example of something a child 2 years younger should certainly be able to do confidently! I find it hard to fit in with people saying they are proud of their child because they are top of the class in this and the best in that and 2 years ahead in their reading. My daughter is either slap bang average or behind in everything, but you are not supposed to say that, even think it, it seems. I have found a huge silencer, though, I usually say "I'm just so pleased my daughter is happy" - people either can't cope with that as they reflect on the fact their own pushed and farmed children are not best described as happy, or they say "Oh yes, Tarquin is happy too" and change the subject.
