Hey, I won't be left out

[dereksbicycles]

My girlfriend's sister graduated from Michigan State University last Saturday. Her Mom did not invite me to graduation because she worried about me sitting for 2 hours without interpreter. Therefore, I did not go. As it turns out, there was an interpreter at the ceremony. I wish that I would have went. I told my girlfriend and her family that I'm 34. I've been deaf for 32 years. I can handle it. I know what to do. If I don't want to be part of it, then I don't have to go.

She has another sister who goes to U of Michigan. She will be graduating in Spring. SHe has asked me to go. I told her I would go. I'm pretty sure there will be an interpreter for graduation ceremony. If MSU had one, then U of M should have one.

My girlfriend and her family worry about doing things in fear that I may be left out. I told them I would be willing to go to concert and graduation. It's ok. I can handle it.

 

[mbrek]

Tell them not to decide for you. You should be the one to decide, terp or no. Just being there to experience the event can have meaning as well, not just hearing it. (Besides, graduations are so boring!!!)

 

[Beach girl]

My girlfriend's sister graduated from Michigan State University last Saturday. Her Mom did not invite me to graduation because she worried about me sitting for 2 hours without interpreter. Therefore, I did not go. As it turns out, there was an interpreter at the ceremony. I wish that I would have went. I told my girlfriend and her family that I'm 34. I've been deaf for 32 years. I can handle it. I know what to do. If I don't want to be part of it, then I don't have to go.

She has another sister who goes to U of Michigan. She will be graduating in Spring. SHe has asked me to go. I told her I would go. I'm pretty sure there will be an interpreter for graduation ceremony. If MSU had one, then U of M should have one. My girlfriend and her family worry about doing things in fear that I may be left out. I told them I would be willing to go to concert and graduation. It's ok. I can handle it.

MSU is just clearly superior to U of M in so many ways; this might be just one more. Go GREEEENNN!!!

OK, OK, I kid, as a biased Spartan - and aunt to two Wolverines. As they say, you know you're from Michigan when half the family fights with the other half the week of the MSU - U of M game. (Note green smilie...)

Seriously, U of M is very likely to have an interpreter, but if you really want to know, I'm sure you could check with the Office of Student Services. They should know for sure.

But good for you for standing up for yourself. That was very rude of your girlfriend's mom not to include you. Actually, isn't she your fiancee now, not just "girlfriend?" Fiances should be invited to family gatherings, definitely; boyfriends, well, maybe yes, maybe no.

I hope you do go to the U of M graduation, to celebrate the event with your girlfriend/fiancee's sister. It is very impressive (I can admit to having attended 3 there myself - two B.S. and one M.S. for the nephews), and a nice family moment.

 

[dereksbicycles]

MSU is just clearly superior to U of M in so many ways; this might be just one more. Go GREEEENNN!!!

OK, OK, I kid, as a biased Spartan - and aunt to two Wolverines. As they say, you know you're from Michigan when half the family fights with the other half the week of the MSU - U of M game. (Note green smilie...)

Seriously, U of M is very likely to have an interpreter, but if you really want to know, I'm sure you could check with the Office of Student Services. They should know for sure.

But good for you for standing up for yourself. That was very rude of your girlfriend's mom not to include you. Actually, isn't she your fiancee now, not just "girlfriend?" Fiances should be invited to family gatherings, definitely; boyfriends, well, maybe yes, maybe no.


I hope you do go to the U of M graduation, to celebrate the event with your girlfriend/fiancee's sister. It is very impressive (I can admit to having attended 3 there myself - two B.S. and one M.S. for the nephews), and a nice family moment.

We're boy/girlfriends---not fiancees yet. We've a lot of time to check into interpreter thing.

I'm more of an U of M fan. Girlfriend is more of a MSU fan. Go Blue!!!!

 

[Beach girl]

Oh dear. Serious, SERIOUS, incompatibilities there!! You will not be speaking to each other for at least one week every fall. ;-)

 

[dereksbicycles]

Oh dear. Serious, SERIOUS, incompatibilities there!! You will not be speaking to each other for at least one week every fall. ;-)

Don't worry, we'll cross this bridge when we have to. Basically, it's about one team scoring more points than others.

 

[Beach girl]

Don't worry, we'll cross this bridge when we have to. Basically, it's about one team scoring more points than others.

Yeah, that's the general idea!

Plus MSU has by far the more attractive campus.

Seriously - of course they are both good schools. Michigan is fortunate to have those two, plus Michigan Tech way up in the UP, and numerous smaller colleges and universities that are all good choices.

Still - Sparty rules!!

 

[dereksbicycles]

Yeah, that's the general idea!

Plus MSU has by far the more attractive campus.

Seriously - of course they are both good schools. Michigan is fortunate to have those two, plus Michigan Tech way up in the UP, and numerous smaller colleges and universities that are all good choices.

Still - Sparty rules!!

I think U of M has more attractive campus, but then again, I was on MSU campus only once. U of M campus once sooooo what am I to judge.

I did go to "Big House" football stadium, but have not been to MSU football stadium yet.

 

[Beach girl]

Fun places to watch a game, in both circumstances.

My nephew's graduation was at the "Big House." It was a nice ceremony. Probably your g.f.'s sister's graduation will be there too, as the June graduation is the big one.

 

[dereksbicycles]

Fun places to watch a game, in both circumstances.

My nephew's graduation was at the "Big House." It was a nice ceremony. Probably your g.f.'s sister's graduation will be there too, as the June graduation is the big one.

Looking forward to it. IT would be my 2nd visit to "Big House".

 

[Anij]

We're boy/girlfriends---not fiancees yet. We've a lot of time to check into interpreter thing.

I'm more of an U of M fan. Girlfriend is more of a MSU fan. Go Blue!!!!

All your girlfriend should have to do is request an interpreter for that event. I'd do it at least 3 months in advance to make sure there are no issues. When the interpreter is booked, they can then inform your girlfriend where the interpreter(s) will be located so you can sit in an appropriate spot.

For graduations, the number of people attending almost ensures that there will be at least a few people who would benefit from having interpreters there - so it's not a big deal to place the request.

 

[Frisky Feline]

My girlfriend's sister graduated from Michigan State University last Saturday. Her Mom did not invite me to graduation because she worried about me sitting for 2 hours without interpreter. Therefore, I did not go. As it turns out, there was an interpreter at the ceremony. I wish that I would have went. I told my girlfriend and her family that I'm 34. I've been deaf for 32 years. I can handle it. I know what to do. If I don't want to be part of it, then I don't have to go.

She has another sister who goes to U of Michigan. She will be graduating in Spring. SHe has asked me to go. I told her I would go. I'm pretty sure there will be an interpreter for graduation ceremony. If MSU had one, then U of M should have one.

My girlfriend and her family worry about doing things in fear that I may be left out. I told them I would be willing to go to concert and graduation. It's ok. I can handle it.

May I ask some concern questions? Does your girlfriend's mom like you? I am shocked to see "her mom did not invites me". That made me wonder. If it were me, I always go to any where if they have no interpreter or not but go with my own spouse no matter what. I want to tell you something that please dont ever use your deafness as an excuse for not going or cant or dont or never do anything. Stand for yourself. You need to realize that out there sometimes dont provide what you are looking for but show up no matter what.

please dont use deafness as an excuse. period.

 

[dereksbicycles]

May I ask some concern questions? Does your girlfriend's mom like you? I am shocked to see "her mom did not invites me". That made me wonder. If it were me, I always go to any where if they have no interpreter or not but go with my own spouse no matter what. I want to tell you something that please dont ever use your deafness as an excuse for not going or cant or dont or never do anything. Stand for yourself. You need to realize that out there sometimes dont provide what you are looking for but show up no matter what.

please dont use deafness as an excuse. period.

Very good point you made. I agree that no one should make excuses.

Yes, she likes me. She does plan to take ASL class with my girlfriend so that they would better communicate with me. They have a lot to learn about Deaf World and they're always happy to learn more. It takes time.

I agree that people should not worry that they are leaving me out if they invite me and there are no interpreter. I can tell them what to do including how to obtain an interpreter if I wanted one.

I'm sure U of Michigan graduation will have an interpreter and I'll have them check on that just to be sure.

 

[VacationGuy234]

You can't force people to invite you places, I think just telling them you are OK with it will suffice. If it is just a family event, I would just show up. However, if it is something that you must be included beforehand I would tell your girlfriend you would like to go.

I have the opposite problem sometimes, I get asked to a lot of bars which have local bands and I can't hear anything. I guess I understand her families concerns, it's not fun.

 

[dereksbicycles]

You can't force people to invite you places, I think just telling them you are OK with it will suffice. If it is just a family event, I would just show up. However, if it is something that you must be included beforehand I would tell your girlfriend you would like to go.

I have the opposite problem sometimes, I get asked to a lot of bars which have local bands and I can't hear anything. I guess I understand her families concerns, it's not fun.

I'm glad you understand her family's concerns.

I do agree that a person shouldn't force someone to invite them if they are not invited.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

"My girlfriend and her family worry about doing things in fear that I may be left out. I told them I would be willing to go to concert and graduation. It's ok. I can handle it. "


So they're going not invite places you to spare your feelings?? Tell me again how that work?? I hate to say this but does your gf mother have issues with you being deaf?? I think you should tell everyone just what you said to us about being 34 yo and you take care of yourself. Does your gf know how you feel about this?

 

[dereksbicycles]

"My girlfriend and her family worry about doing things in fear that I may be left out. I told them I would be willing to go to concert and graduation. It's ok. I can handle it. "


So they're going not invite places you to spare your feelings?? Tell me again how that work?? I hate to say this but does your gf mother have issues with you being deaf?? I think you should tell everyone just what you said to us about being 34 yo and you take care of yourself. Does your gf know how you feel about this?

Yes, I have told my girlfriend how I feel about this. I'm pretty sure they don't have issues with me being deaf. It's that they worry about leaving me out.

 

[Beach girl]

You do have to get tickets for graduation ceremonies, though. This is not an event where you can just show up uninvited. My nephew had to really scramble to get as many tickets as he wanted for our whole family to attend.

 

[Jane B.]

Yes, I have told my girlfriend how I feel about this. I'm pretty sure they don't have issues with me being deaf. It's that they worry about leaving me out.

I would say they did a very complete job of leaving you out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In fact, down right insulting as a graduation day isn't just the ceremony but the whole rest of the day together.

Did you make sure that your girlfriend's Mother understands what she did? Your girlfriend may not have known what her mother was doing to you.

 

[Buffalo]

MSU is just clearly superior to U of M in so many ways; this might be just one more. Go GREEEENNN!!!

OK, OK, I kid, as a biased Spartan - and aunt to two Wolverines. As they say, you know you're from Michigan when half the family fights with the other half the week of the MSU - U of M game. (Note green smilie...)

Seriously, U of M is very likely to have an interpreter, but if you really want to know, I'm sure you could check with the Office of Student Services. They should know for sure.

But good for you for standing up for yourself. That was very rude of your girlfriend's mom not to include you. Actually, isn't she your fiancee now, not just "girlfriend?" Fiances should be invited to family gatherings, definitely; boyfriends, well, maybe yes, maybe no.

I hope you do go to the U of M graduation, to celebrate the event with your girlfriend/fiancee's sister. It is very impressive (I can admit to having attended 3 there myself - two B.S. and one M.S. for the nephews), and a nice family moment.

That reminds me of an article where a husband is a fan of one of them and the wife is a fan of the other one. They agreed that their dog will wear the collar that has the colors of the winning team for a year.