I am told I lost my hearing as a baby when I had a 105-106F fever caused by Red Measles. I lost enough hearing that when I should have started speaking, no one could understand me. Even though my father was a city schools administrator/math teacher and my maternal grandmother was a special education teacher, my deafness was missed and chalked up to some form of mental retardation. A teacher aide discovered my deafness by rattling candy papers.
I am not totally deaf but am nearly so if I do not wear my hearing aids.
I was dumped into mainstream education, never learned ASL (my parents were social climbers and were not interested in being seen signing), but survived anyway. I did receive some help from disabled services in elementary school and at the university level. I managed to excel in my grades (magna cum laude), but was rarely allowed into study groups or other social groups. I was not well liked and was tortured throughout my schooling by both students and authority figures for "lack of social development" and "not showing signs of leadership" or "not performing up to my potential."
I did receive lip reading training and mastered elocution, so few can spot me as sounding deaf, but there's just something, just something different about me and people DO NOT LIKE THIS.
My major outlet when I was young was in solo sports, where I excelled as well, but never in group sports. Always passed over because my deafness was more repellent than my athletic excellence was valued. My few accomplishments in sports was setting a state broadjump record and winning the 1985 world mail-in competition in freestyle bowhunting at 30 yards.
I could not access media until closed captioning--I thought I was just too stupid or something.
I could not understand politicians' rhetoric (the tap dance around an issue, but never directly to the point)--I thought I was just too stupid or something.
I could never understand why people could pick me out as different so darned fast--and rejected in school, extracurricular activities, and professionally to this day. No one could tell me just what was wrong with me, but the general consensus was that something was terribly wrong with me. I studied how to act and sound normal for survival's sake. The concentration required for this is massive.
I managed to graduate in the top 5% of my class in professional pharmacy school, but still have a very hard time keeping my job if I do not have an understanding supervisor, which is almost never.
Anymore these days, I am just trying to stay employed (which is never easy for me despite going above and beyond every single day to prove I'm fractionally competent, and having to endure endless abuse for it). I developed a stress-related illness, fibromyalgia, which is at times equally disabling as the deafness, but lacks the intensity of the social component. Together, the two physical problems affect my happiness and security as I approach my 55th year. I am the sole breadwinner and do not have family support. My husband is and has been good to me, but he is now losing his hearing due to age related issues (he stays home and does not work or contribute to household expenses due to a broken back sustained in a car accident 6 years or so ago). Though I am far deafer than he is, a lifetime of developed coping skills makes me have to watch his advice carefully as to what is going on as he is most often not interpreting his environment accurately and has a natural social awkwardness and lack of timing.
I am here mostly due to a crushing sense of isolation and a hope for social connection and perhaps even a little help now and then.
Feel free to reply. I could use a little contact.
Char
I am not totally deaf but am nearly so if I do not wear my hearing aids.
I was dumped into mainstream education, never learned ASL (my parents were social climbers and were not interested in being seen signing), but survived anyway. I did receive some help from disabled services in elementary school and at the university level. I managed to excel in my grades (magna cum laude), but was rarely allowed into study groups or other social groups. I was not well liked and was tortured throughout my schooling by both students and authority figures for "lack of social development" and "not showing signs of leadership" or "not performing up to my potential."
I did receive lip reading training and mastered elocution, so few can spot me as sounding deaf, but there's just something, just something different about me and people DO NOT LIKE THIS.
My major outlet when I was young was in solo sports, where I excelled as well, but never in group sports. Always passed over because my deafness was more repellent than my athletic excellence was valued. My few accomplishments in sports was setting a state broadjump record and winning the 1985 world mail-in competition in freestyle bowhunting at 30 yards.
I could not access media until closed captioning--I thought I was just too stupid or something.
I could not understand politicians' rhetoric (the tap dance around an issue, but never directly to the point)--I thought I was just too stupid or something.
I could never understand why people could pick me out as different so darned fast--and rejected in school, extracurricular activities, and professionally to this day. No one could tell me just what was wrong with me, but the general consensus was that something was terribly wrong with me. I studied how to act and sound normal for survival's sake. The concentration required for this is massive.
I managed to graduate in the top 5% of my class in professional pharmacy school, but still have a very hard time keeping my job if I do not have an understanding supervisor, which is almost never.
Anymore these days, I am just trying to stay employed (which is never easy for me despite going above and beyond every single day to prove I'm fractionally competent, and having to endure endless abuse for it). I developed a stress-related illness, fibromyalgia, which is at times equally disabling as the deafness, but lacks the intensity of the social component. Together, the two physical problems affect my happiness and security as I approach my 55th year. I am the sole breadwinner and do not have family support. My husband is and has been good to me, but he is now losing his hearing due to age related issues (he stays home and does not work or contribute to household expenses due to a broken back sustained in a car accident 6 years or so ago). Though I am far deafer than he is, a lifetime of developed coping skills makes me have to watch his advice carefully as to what is going on as he is most often not interpreting his environment accurately and has a natural social awkwardness and lack of timing.
I am here mostly due to a crushing sense of isolation and a hope for social connection and perhaps even a little help now and then.
Feel free to reply. I could use a little contact.
Char
to AllDeaf forum. It is sad when you get don't get any help for your hearing loss. You need ASL and other accommodations to help you understand what hearing people say in the mainstream school and also in the work area too. A lot of hearing people expect us to be like them thinking that we can read lips when we could not and talk like them. Well, your husband have to learn to adjust to hearing less and hopefully he can get hearing aid to help him hear sounds. Like Shel90 said that hopefully that you consider learning ASL and meeting Deaf people in the Deaf community in your area.