Awauphi
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- Joined
- Apr 29, 2003
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"HELL" EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the
professor shared it with his colleagues via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing
in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls
are
moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's
look at the different religions that exist in the
world
today
Most of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during
my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you,' and take into account the
fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
got this via email...
The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the
professor shared it with his colleagues via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats
when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing
in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls
are
moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's
look at the different religions that exist in the
world
today
Most of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during
my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you,' and take into account the
fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
got this via email...
what a weird joke!