Hi! I am a hearing student in an ASL class focusing on learning more about the Deaf culture and community. In my class we have been given an assignment in which we have to pretend we have just had a deaf child. We are to choose how we are going to raise the child and make some of the 'difficult' choices that parents must make. I just had a few questions (and to anyone who is reading this...I would love your input). First of all, what do you think is the best mode of communication for a deaf child with hearing parents. I am leaning more towards Total Communication because it incorporates ASL and speaking. I know that this is a touchy subject, but I also would like your input on cochlear implants. I can see both sides of the issue and would really like to hear what you have to say. Any other comments that would give me better insight and help me to complete my project more accurately would be wonderful! Thank you!
Hearing Student looking to learn more about the Deaf Community
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Not sure I could give a fair answer, because I forgot to have children. 
Parenting brings a set of emotions that I have never experienced. Those emotions are needed to give you an answer that reflects the true result you want to find here.
Parenting brings a set of emotions that I have never experienced. Those emotions are needed to give you an answer that reflects the true result you want to find here.faire_jour
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Ok, I faced this exact issue when we found out my daughter had a hearing loss at 18 months old. She was born hearing but has been losing it since she was 12 months old. When her loss was discovered is was "moderate", which means she was hard of hearing not deaf. She was fitted with hearing aids and they brought her hearing up to "normal".
We immediatly began to learn ASL. We believed that we would need to communicate and spoken language was not working for her at the time, so we began signing. She took to it instantly. She signed back "candy" within 30 seconds of us introducing it. She did great with ASL, spoken language was another story.
We continued to speak everything that we signed and we started Miss Kat (my daughter) in speech therapy. By the time she was 3 she had lost more hearing and was now "moderately-severe" and she was not gaining spoken language. She had a handful of words that she said with her signs, but she didn't understand when we spoke.
When it was time for preschool we visited a TC and a bi-bi (voice off ASL) program. We noticed that the TC school was terrible! The kids were not talking OR signing. The teacher stood in front of the class and spoke the word "shoe" and signed it at the same time. These kids were 4 and didn't know the sign for shoe?!?!? Not ok! The class was full of kids considered "oral failures" or "not yet ready for the oral class". It wasn't a real methodology, just a holding ground trying to get the kids to be oral. The kids were behind and needed to be fixed....not ok.
Then we visited the bi-bi school. It was amazing! The kids were all communicating and chatting and learning! They weren't behind, they weren't special ed., they were just Deaf. They were normal kids who happen to use a different language. We were hooked. We knew that was the right place for our girl.
Ahhh, seems simple, but now there is a complication! Just before her 5th birthday Miss Kat lost more hearing. She was now deaf. She has a severe-profound hearing loss. At the same time she became much more interested in spoken language. She would ask what the words for things were, she would hold toys up to her hearing aid and try to hear the sounds she used to hear and then ask us why they were broken. She started to do better in speech, inspite of actually hearing worse. My husband and I decided to look into a cochlear implant for her.
In November we gave Miss Kat a cochlear implant. She loves it! She is doing amazing! She is hearing at "normal" levels and her spoken language has exploded! She understands sentences (without lipreading) and loves us reading book (with our voices) to her. The problem is now school. Her school can't give us the spoken language time or proper speech therapy, so we are probably going to move her to the oral deaf program in the fall. We continue to use ASL all the time with her (barring speech times) and we will continue, hopefully, forever. Only her school placement will change, she will continue to be part of the Deaf community and we will continue to use ASL in our home.
Long story!
So, short cut, if I had another deaf child born tomorrow...(assuming she is profoundly deaf)....I would get her a cochlear implant at 12 months and use ASL from day 1.
We immediatly began to learn ASL. We believed that we would need to communicate and spoken language was not working for her at the time, so we began signing. She took to it instantly. She signed back "candy" within 30 seconds of us introducing it. She did great with ASL, spoken language was another story.
We continued to speak everything that we signed and we started Miss Kat (my daughter) in speech therapy. By the time she was 3 she had lost more hearing and was now "moderately-severe" and she was not gaining spoken language. She had a handful of words that she said with her signs, but she didn't understand when we spoke.
When it was time for preschool we visited a TC and a bi-bi (voice off ASL) program. We noticed that the TC school was terrible! The kids were not talking OR signing. The teacher stood in front of the class and spoke the word "shoe" and signed it at the same time. These kids were 4 and didn't know the sign for shoe?!?!? Not ok! The class was full of kids considered "oral failures" or "not yet ready for the oral class". It wasn't a real methodology, just a holding ground trying to get the kids to be oral. The kids were behind and needed to be fixed....not ok.
Then we visited the bi-bi school. It was amazing! The kids were all communicating and chatting and learning! They weren't behind, they weren't special ed., they were just Deaf. They were normal kids who happen to use a different language. We were hooked. We knew that was the right place for our girl.
Ahhh, seems simple, but now there is a complication! Just before her 5th birthday Miss Kat lost more hearing. She was now deaf. She has a severe-profound hearing loss. At the same time she became much more interested in spoken language. She would ask what the words for things were, she would hold toys up to her hearing aid and try to hear the sounds she used to hear and then ask us why they were broken. She started to do better in speech, inspite of actually hearing worse. My husband and I decided to look into a cochlear implant for her.
In November we gave Miss Kat a cochlear implant. She loves it! She is doing amazing! She is hearing at "normal" levels and her spoken language has exploded! She understands sentences (without lipreading) and loves us reading book (with our voices) to her. The problem is now school. Her school can't give us the spoken language time or proper speech therapy, so we are probably going to move her to the oral deaf program in the fall. We continue to use ASL all the time with her (barring speech times) and we will continue, hopefully, forever. Only her school placement will change, she will continue to be part of the Deaf community and we will continue to use ASL in our home.
Long story!
So, short cut, if I had another deaf child born tomorrow...(assuming she is profoundly deaf)....I would get her a cochlear implant at 12 months and use ASL from day 1.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! It is awesome to hear actual stories of hearing parents with deaf children. I think it is great that you have continued to use ASL even with the cochlear implant. In my 'situation' I think I will definitely use ASL because I would want my daughter to still be able to identify with the Deaf community. I really appreciate you sharing your story, and it wasn't too long but actually very informative! Thanks again!
faire_jour
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You'd be surprised how angry that story makes some people here....
faire_jour
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No, I'm just saying that there are still some people who are very very very against any sort of oral education, or cochlear implants. They believe I am abusing my child and are creating a "frankenstein", brain dead, uneducated, parrot. That all kids who speak are suffering and hate their lives.
faire_jour
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I wouldn't say it is the majority view, but it is still there. I do however think that the majority believe that oral language should definatly take a backseat to everything else. If a kid learns to speak, good for them, if not, no loss....
In fact, none of the Deaf families I know have any sort of speech therapy for their kids. That is their decision, and I respect it, though I disagree and do otherwise for my child.
In fact, none of the Deaf families I know have any sort of speech therapy for their kids. That is their decision, and I respect it, though I disagree and do otherwise for my child.
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Thanks so much for your willingness to share with me
I have close3 friend who raised her son under the BiBi approach and no implants but hearing aids. Her son is older now and is fluent in both languages and is comfortable in both the Deaf and hearing worlds.
That is just one of the many friends who have deaf children and raised them differently than some of the parents here on AD.
If I had a deaf child, I would not choose oral method because from my experience as a deaf person I know what it is like.. the frustration and trying to fit in with the rest of the hearing students, getting the full experience of communication along students and teachers, I had to reply on lip reading the entire day--five days a week in school for years. ASL and speech/speaking is the answer to a deaf person's problem and that's my opinion because of that communication is the most important tool without any frustrations by replying on lip reading. Not all hearing people can speak slowly or clear enough for a deaf person to read their lips. ASL doesn't have that problem.
Now if I had a deaf child, I'll enroll my deaf child in total communication program where there is no miscommunication and no frustrations. Which meaning my child will have both-- signs and speech skills.
Now if I had a deaf child, I'll enroll my deaf child in total communication program where there is no miscommunication and no frustrations. Which meaning my child will have both-- signs and speech skills.
That's a shame.