Hearing people can be so annoying

S

Southern

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I say this as a hearing person. I am getting frustrated when I am out with a Deaf friend and we meet a new hearing person and they say, “Oh I used to know sign but I forgot it all”. Um…. HUH? This has happened with about 80% of the hearing people I have met. How does that many of them know sign but then it just drops out of their minds? And all of it??? And why can you not see me signing and it remind you of what you know?
When I was a teen my friends I used to fingerspell in church. This way we weren’t talking during preaching and weren’t passing notes, both would have gotten us in trouble. We would put our hands on our knees and fingerspell entire conversations. Also this trick allowed us to give the appearance of paying attention since our heads were pointed at the pastor. After my early teens I stopped fingerspelling and didn’t for maybe 13 years. When I started learning sign language I could still fingerspell. It was difficult (still is) and except for 3 letters I remembered all of them. It just annoys me that so many people say this. And my friends are like, people ALWAYS say that. But it is obvious they are lying and are just trying to sound cool. Or if they know how to fingerspell they will do that for everything they say instead of using me to interpret for them. Yes it is nice that they are trying to communicate but it is annoying sometimes!!
 
People say that to me now and then, too. I just smile and shrug...no choice but to let it go. I see some of these people at work regularly, and they do make an effort to perfect their signs which is cool. I am more annoyed when inlaws try to use my hb as an interpreter when they could well write with me.
 
Southern, no offense, but if you're going to be a hearing person involved with the deaf community, sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and let things go. If your head explodes every time you come into contact with an ignorant hearing person, you're going to burn out before you even get started. A sense of humor does more to benefit all parties involved than constant annoyance/outrage.

And as far as your question, either they are trying to show an interest, which is more than most hearing people do, or they did learn some sign and forgot it, which is exactly what happens with any language. If I encounter someone speaking French, I don't suddenly remember all the syntax and vocabulary I've forgotten over the years. ASL like any language is "use it or lose it."
 
None taken. I just internally roll my eyes and think goodness and keep going. This is not a head explosion. And i am not writing this after one person said it. When they show a genuine interest and want to continue the conversation i think it is cool. If the person says, okay I think I remember this sign and that sign then fine. Like you said use it or loose it. You said you don’t remember everything in French, but i am sure you remember some. My issue is with people who say they used to sign and now remember NOTHING of it. Not a few signs nothing. That is what I mean. That is what is annoying I cannot understand how you remember absolutely none of something you used to know. I remember some of Spanish I took in school but not enough to get by. If a person speaks Spanish very slowly I can pick up a few things but can by no means carry a conversation. This was 10 years ago when I took Spanish. It just seems that these people aren’t being truthful. If it was one or two people over 6 months it would be one thing but it has been about 10 people over the passed month and a half. I am sure some of them are truthful but others I think are lying to seem impressive in the club. Maybe they should say it differently. Not say I used to sign but forgot everything. Instead say I used to know a few signs but I forgot them. And people can be annoying in general if I couldn’t cope I would burn out on life!! LOL
 
Southern said:
That is what is annoying I cannot understand how you remember absolutely none of something you used to know.
Click to expand...

I think you are making an enormous leap in logic and judgment by assuming these people are lying, as you say. Sign language is difficult for many people as it is a visual-gestural language as opposed to a spoken language, and therefore even easier to forget for people who are not used to communicating in that channel.

I taught myself Braille when I was in elementary school. I literally remember none of it. Am I lying?
 
Not to mention a lot of people learn the alphabet and think that they know sign language because they think we spell everything out. So when they say they used to know sign language, it may be they learned the manual alphabet in the third grade but they don't remember any of it.

Hearing people are largely ignorant about deafness and sign language, because its such a specialized field and community. I am also a musician (piano) and find that people who don't know anything about music make statements out of ignorance.

If you're planning on being an interpreter, you'll need to know how to handle these encounters with grace, finesse and tact. It's especially important in my line of work (VRS Interpreter) because often times the last person a frazzled hearing personal wants to hear from is any kind of relay service.

Good luck!
 
I understand where you are coming from on that. The first few people that said that I thought that is too bad. Then after it kept happening over and over again is when I became sceptical. Also this is in the club and my friend is very attracive. I began to see it as a "big fish story". How people in a club will say something that isn't true to make themselves appear more better than what they are. And some that have said that have said I think I remember this sign or that sign or how sign works. Those people I believe. I just think they are trying to impress him. My friend is one of those people that gets a croud around him. He's funny great dancer and out going so many people enjoy being around him. Life of the party. I think some of those people use that in the club to try to get close to him.
 
Are deaf people treated differently compared to other people with their own culture and language.
When I would meet a friend who has a friend with him that is French, I also would have to excuse myself, even though I had french in school.

Obviously, communication can go via paper. That's a good solution.

I'm not making excuses, but when I first met deaf people, which happened only after our daughter was diagnosed, I felt handicapped. I could not understand sign. The woman could not speak well.
It's an akward situation. With my daughte being deaf, I needed to be able to communicate with my daughter, with the woman in the pre-school and others there, so learning sign was a no-brainer.

But even knowing some sign, knowing the hand-ABC, it is still very difficult. Fingerspelling is very quick. Sign is difficult to decipher... but one learns...in time and where there's enough exposure..

But what I have learned, from traveling in Europe, moving to another country, getting a child that is deaf is that languages separate people, the knowledge of multiple languages unites people..
But that is valid for BOTH parties.

The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951)​
 
Also I don't show if I belive them or not I just interpret what is said. My thought is just oh goodness and I go on with the conversation. I know that you don't believe everything you are told by everyone all the time. I wish you could see my face so I could show you what the people I don't believe look like when they tell me. I think you would understand me better.
 
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