Have consideration for others in time of rememberance

[dereksbicycles]

I remember maybe 4 or 5 years ago going to Wake for a friend whose Grandma had passed away. At end of Wake, few of us were sitting together. Now, there was this one guy who was more of my friend's friend. I wasn't close to that guy.

Anyway, this guy went on and on talking about his marital problems. He was mentioning that he hated having to pay for marriage counselor out of his own pocket. He was telling that he didn't know whether his wife was a bisexual or not.

I don't know if I would talk about this with a group of people, let alone at a Wake. I didn't mention anything about it because it wasn't my Wake. If it was my Wake, I would probably be wondering if I actually wanted to be friends with this person after what he did.

Each to their own, I guess.

 

[Beowulf]

I remember maybe 4 or 5 years ago going to Wake for a friend whose Grandma had passed away. At end of Wake, few of us were sitting together. Now, there was this one guy who was more of my friend's friend. I wasn't close to that guy.

Anyway, this guy went on and on talking about his marital problems. He was mentioning that he hated having to pay for marriage counselor out of his own pocket. He was telling that he didn't know whether his wife was a bisexual or not.

I don't know if I would talk about this with a group of people, let alone at a Wake. I didn't mention anything about it because it wasn't my Wake. If it was my Wake, I would probably be wondering if I actually wanted to be friends with this person after what he did.

Each to their own, I guess.

As what? A zombie?

 

[rockin'robin]

There's a time & place for everything....I would have told the guy to STFU....it's a wake, for christ's sake!....

 

[Reba]

Some people can't see beyond the ends of their own noses. Very self centered.

I would probably say, "Excuse me" and move on to another group of people.

 

[Bebonang]

A friend of your friend should not be talking about his martial affairs (his wife) during the Wake. Yes, I agree with Reba that you could have move to another bench or chair away from him as it is rude of him to talk about that in the Wake. He should show respect to the friend's grandmother. He should do that when he was not at the Wake like in another place for social event or to the psychiatrist to talk about his problem. I am sorry about your grandmother passing away. May she rest in peace.

 

[Eater of Worlds]

It's like those idiots taking selfies at funerals.

My spouse hopes everyone laughs and jokes and has a great time at their wake, because they want their wake to be like that.

 

[Reba]

It's like those idiots taking selfies at funerals.

My spouse hopes everyone laughs and jokes and has a great time at their wake, because they want their wake to be like that.

Most of the people we know don't have wakes but we have visiting hours with the family the day before the funeral. Friends and family gather to comfort one another, and to share remembrances about the deceased individual. Usually they have lots of photos and scrapbooks around to look at. A recent one we attended for a WWII veteran had his uniform and medals on display. He also used to work for the railroad and they had model trains from that railroad on display also. In this high tech age, most of the time they also have monitors hooked up with DVD's playing showing family photographs.

There are tears and warm smiles at these gatherings.

If the family desires, the open casket is also there with the flowers around it if anyone wants to view the deceased.

It's certainly not a time or place for guests to be airing personal problems.

 

[Bottesini]

Friends of my father had a little snowball fight at the cemetery on the day of his funeral.

I haven't forgotten these grown men who couldn't even show proper respect for an hour or so around his grieving family...

 

[Jane B.]

Most of the people we know don't have wakes but we have visiting hours with the family the day before the funeral. Friends and family gather to comfort one another, and to share remembrances about the deceased individual. Usually they have lots of photos and scrapbooks around to look at. A recent one we attended for a WWII veteran had his uniform and medals on display. He also used to work for the railroad and they had model trains from that railroad on display also. In this high tech age, most of the time they also have monitors hooked up with DVD's playing showing family photographs.

There are tears and warm smiles at these gatherings.

If the family desires, the open casket is also there with the flowers around it if anyone wants to view the deceased.

It's certainly not a time or place for guests to be airing personal problems.

This is what I am used to. Although the large photo displays are fairly recent.

What makes some difference is from the OP I get the impression that this was a very small group that had gathered at the very end of the wake. And that they were really close to the OP's friend. In that case I can see the conversation going off in many different directions.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Friends of my father had a little snowball fight at the cemetery on the day of his funeral.

I haven't forgotten these grown men who couldn't even show proper respect for an hour or so around his grieving family...

My beloved mother funeral was horrible , I could not believe when the Rabbi said my dad was a violent drunk ! Yes dad was that way but a funeral is not the place to say it. And my older sister brought that horrible story she wrote and showed it me at the grave site. I could not believe my niece brought her bagpipe and played it. The funeral was in December and I thought it was going to very short as is very cold out. We had stand out in the cold longer while my niece played her bagpipe . One of our cousin was there and he has a very bad heart my sister knew he had a hard time just getting out of the house. She should had told her daughter the bagpipe was a bad idea.

 

[Reba]

Normally I love a bagpipe solo at a funeral or memorial. They are especially touching at a military, police, or firefighter funeral. They are most touching, next to a bugler playing Taps. I guess they don't fit everyone's wishes at funerals.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Normally I love a bagpipe solo at a funeral or memorial. They are especially touching at a military, police, or firefighter funeral. They are most touching, next to a bugler playing Taps. I guess they don't fit everyone's wishes at funerals.

It was in the middle of winter and I told my cousin we would not be outside very long , playing the bagpipe took time , my cousin had to go home early because of this bag heart . His brother dies of a heart attack when he was only about 45 yo . I was more concern for my cousin health. His father was my mother's baby brother and my cousin came because in his father behalf .
My mother was the last of 8 kids in her family .

 

[Bottesini]

Normally I love a bagpipe solo at a funeral or memorial. They are especially touching at a military, police, or firefighter funeral. They are most touching, next to a bugler playing Taps. I guess they don't fit everyone's wishes at funerals.

There isn't music at a Jewish funeral. It interferes with the respect to the dead.

 

[Reba]

There isn't music at a Jewish funeral. It interferes with the respect to the dead.

The person in charge of funeral arrangements should have known that and handled things better.