Hard of Hearing Advance Directive

[Tigeroo]

I'm having an issue. My boyfriend is having medical problems. He has asked me to be his Advance Directive - the person who will make medical decisions for him if he is unable to. I am willing to do it, but what makes it complicated is that I'm hard of hearing.

I have a severe hearing loss. I use hearing aids and lip reading to communicate. I cannot hear well enough on the phone to understand what is being said. (Please note: my boyfriend does not have a hearing loss.)

My questions that I'm hoping you all can give me some advice on are:

1. How will a hospital get a hold of me to tell me that he's in the hospital, since he travels a lot and I'm hard of hearing?

2. What if the doctors need my permission to do a procedure/test/etc because my boyfriend is unable to consent? How will I be able to do that if I cannot hear on the phone and it needs to be done before I can get to the hospital?

My boyfriend's friends and coworkers know that I'm hard of hearing. He is willing to make one of his friends his Advance Directive, but he'd rather it be me. But I need to come up with a solution to these issues.

I hope you all can help. Any ideas/advice is greatly appreciated.

 

[Paul Malley]

As the creator and distributor of the Five Wishes advance directive, we have some experience in this area that may be helpful. Here are some suggestions: Your boyfriend will want to note in his advance directive that designates you as his health care agent that you are hearing impaired. Five Wishes comes with a wallet card and he should note on it too that you are hearing impaired. He should also have a second and third choice designated in case you cannot be reached. (This is true for all people, not just those who are hearing impaired.) After he designates you and completes and signs his advance directive, he should sit down with his physician and give him a copy of the advance directive for his medical file, pointing out that you have a hearing loss and cannot be contacted by phone. He may wish to include a separate sheet that spells out how you can be reached. Your boyfriend also should keep the original advance directive in a place that is accessible – not a safe deposit box, for example.

Hospitals on whole do a pretty good job of communicating with their diverse patient populations. They have TTY capability and sign language interpreters on staff or on call. Text messaging is also used. You’ll find their social workers and chaplaincy staff to be of great help too, should your boyfriend be hospitalized.

And finally, you’ll want to think about what happens should you and your boyfriend break up. You would want to remind him that he should revoke your designation and name someone else (perhaps his original second or third choices). Otherwise, you could in theory be contacted years from now and have to tell the hospital that you are unwilling to be the health care agent.

I am President of Aging with Dignity, a national non-profit organization founded in 1996. We have more than 14 million copies of Five Wishes in national circulation. It is available in 26 languages and in Braille. We are at Aging With Dignity.