Gay Dating Advice

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Knockout17

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I don't know where to start... I am not kind of a person that would open up about myself on the Internet. I just find it a little strange for me, but I guess it is sometime good to venting my feelings.... Me being a deaf makes my dating life little much harder with the communication barrier. I have dated several hearing guys (hearing is a term for people that could hear and talk) guys and I have dated couple deaf guys. Sometime, the communication barrier between me and my date could be very pretty difficult (keep in mind that I am deaf 100% and I could not talk that well and I'm not awesome at reading lips). My friends kept telling me that I should not go for hearing guys and go for a deaf guy that makes things easier because we (I and deaf guy) share same experience and grew up in same world. Not that I don't mind to date a deaf guy.... But, it is so hard to meet gay deaf guys since there are not so many of them around here. At same time, I just don't want to limit myself to deaf guys because that will makes dating pool much slimmer. It is just so hard because if I like a hearing guy and goes out on several dates w/ him then he would have to learn sign language in order to have the communication much effective and I feel like I am a burden.... But, at same time, soon as guys find out that I'm deaf and they run away... It is just sucks.

Right now, it is just so really frustrating for me that I am having a hard time meeting guys. I mean, it is not my fault that I was born deaf. It's not like that I asked to be a deaf person. It just happened that way and I just wish that guys wouldn't let my deafness getting in the way. But, again, I know learning sign language is just so much harder. It is a visual language, not a verbal language. I just wish that sign language would be so easy to learn, but it is not. Sometimes, I wish that I am straight because most girls find it so fantastic and learn sign language easier compare to guys that do not really find it so fantastic and it take a while for them to learn sign language. Too bad that I don't like boobs and vagina, hahah. I am trying to figure it out how to make the communication much easier between me and a hearing guy. But, it seems like there's like every obstacle in the way of overcoming the communication barrier. I mean, any advices or any idea of how to approach a guy without scaring him away with my deafness at some place.

Phew! Sorry for rambling so much!
 
Knockout17 said:
I don't know where to start... I am not kind of a person that would open up about myself on the Internet. I just find it a little strange for me, but I guess it is sometime good to venting my feelings.... Me being a deaf makes my dating life little much harder with the communication barrier. I have dated several hearing guys (hearing is a term for people that could hear and talk) guys and I have dated couple deaf guys. Sometime, the communication barrier between me and my date could be very pretty difficult (keep in mind that I am deaf 100% and I could not talk that well and I'm not awesome at reading lips). My friends kept telling me that I should not go for hearing guys and go for a deaf guy that makes things easier because we (I and deaf guy) share same experience and grew up in same world. Not that I don't mind to date a deaf guy.... But, it is so hard to meet gay deaf guys since there are not so many of them around here. At same time, I just don't want to limit myself to deaf guys because that will makes dating pool much slimmer. It is just so hard because if I like a hearing guy and goes out on several dates w/ him then he would have to learn sign language in order to have the communication much effective and I feel like I am a burden.... But, at same time, soon as guys find out that I'm deaf and they run away... It is just sucks.

Right now, it is just so really frustrating for me that I am having a hard time meeting guys. I mean, it is not my fault that I was born deaf. It's not like that I asked to be a deaf person. It just happened that way and I just wish that guys wouldn't let my deafness getting in the way. But, again, I know learning sign language is just so much harder. It is a visual language, not a verbal language. I just wish that sign language would be so easy to learn, but it is not. Sometimes, I wish that I am straight because most girls find it so fantastic and learn sign language easier compare to guys that do not really find it so fantastic and it take a while for them to learn sign language. Too bad that I don't like boobs and vagina, hahah. I am trying to figure it out how to make the communication much easier between me and a hearing guy. But, it seems like there's like every obstacle in the way of overcoming the communication barrier. I mean, any advices or any idea of how to approach a guy without scaring him away with my deafness at some place.

Phew! Sorry for rambling so much!
Click to expand...

Well I don't know where you live but if you live in a small town in the middle of the boondocks, your choices are going to be slim-pickin'.

The one thing is that if you are deaf, are you looking for a deaf guy to date or a hearing guy to date? If you are looking for a deaf guy to date, I suggest going to Chicago for the RAD conference this coming summer. There will be many deaf homos and lezzies from all over the place in Chicago and you may meet your, "Mr. Deaf Right".

If you are looking for a hearing person but the pickin's are slim where you live, you may want to think about relocating to a bigger city with a bigger deaf community, gay community because chances are higher that there will be a hearing guy that knows ASL in a bigger town.

Hope this helps and good luck.

( FYI....I wasn't looking when I meet mine and it happens when you least expect it. That is true for both gay and heterosexual relationships. :) )
 
Some days, you just get tired of being deaf and, not only that, gay. Life can be very isolating when you're a sub-culture within a sub-culture. I empathize with you.

Communication is a very strong factor in developing relationships. Sign language vocabulary/fluency is often pointed at by the Deaf. For many relationships, communication is a major factor.

Knockout17 said:
Sometimes, I wish that I am straight because most girls find it so fantastic and learn sign language easier compare to guys that do not really find it so fantastic and it take a while for them to learn sign language.
Click to expand...

I've found no great difference between straight or gay relationships. Be careful in saying that being straight is the easy way out.

Keep your chin up.
 
Hi knockout, I completely understood of this situation and am absolutely agreed of what you was saying about being deaf and gay which is HARDER way to find person that has same common of yours. It is also happening to me too, i know it is too diffficult for whom are deaf and into homosexual but hey, you couldve try to social with bunches of deaf on deaf evens such as carvils<sp (huge boat) for deaf, theres might be your chance to try also accord to Byrdie714's brief, you may be should try this. I also am thinking about it but am so unsure about it lol.
 
im very appreciate it.

It is pretty much cheaper and very interesting. Thanks mate :D
 
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