On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
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Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
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In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."
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On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
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At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"
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On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
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In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
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On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs." On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."
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At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."
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On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
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At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
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Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
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At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"
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In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."
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On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
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On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
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At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
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In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"
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On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
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On the side of a Burglar's car: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
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On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
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In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
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Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
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In a Cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."
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On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
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In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."
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Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs." On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the side of a Burglar's car: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."
