Foster children

[Lissa]

I didnt know where to put this, I thought I'd put it in here since it's about children. As some of you know, my mum is a foster carer. She has been doing it since January 2007, she got her first placement in March '07 and has had many kids since then. I am always wondering what to do with the kids, I'm always struggling for ideas to do things with them, or what to talk to them about, I want to try and make these children feel more secure and involved in the family whilst they're here.

Any ideas?

 

[sallylou]

How old are the kids? Are you in a large urban area or a smaller one? Answer depends on this.

 

[Frisky Feline]

Oh depend on how bad they went through. I had 2 "foster siblings and half" who lived with us when i was a kid. What did i do was acting like a sister and treat them like they are family. One of them was very withdrawal, i kept coming to her and asked her normal things that i can't remember though even she knew nothing asl. It seems that she had been warm up and feel comfortable with us, and started to pick up how to asl etc.

The other one is fine but kept goofying and soemtiems picked on me like he treated me his little sister.

i said, half because that guy was adult (20 years old) who lives with us.

i don't know what to suggest, but just be yourself and act like they are your family. Your parents are awesome!

 

[JamieLynn]

i don't know what to suggest, but just be yourself and act like they are your family. Your parents are awesome!

Acting like they are your family... Show them your support and let them know if they need somebody to talk to you'll be there for them. How about taking them out for ice-cream or movie?

Though this is a very vague answer since I don't know how old the kids are or what their past has been, how long have they been with your mom,...?

 

[LakeTahoe]

I was a ex-foster kid...I hated it cuz family aren't very nice...the 2nd family... 1st one was awesome and I regreted that I wanted to moved. Oh well. At least I kept in touch with 1st family not 2nd. It is very long story and I rather not to talk about it. I rather just move on and I have a life that I have a family to take care of.

I was thinking about being a foster mom but dunno how the system works. I guess I have to research it. You will get paid for it from the state I think. I don't mind 1 or 2 kids to welcome in our home. Gotta to talk to hubby about it! LOL!

 

[sallylou]

LakeTahoe, I'm sorry that you had to move around. You've turned out to be such a lovely person. Enjoy your family!

 

[stefan2832]

I didnt know where to put this, I thought I'd put it in here since it's about children. As some of you know, my mum is a foster carer. She has been doing it since January 2007, she got her first placement in March '07 and has had many kids since then. I am always wondering what to do with the kids, I'm always struggling for ideas to do things with them, or what to talk to them about, I want to try and make these children feel more secure and involved in the family whilst they're here.

Any ideas?

Hi Lissa, We fostered children for a few years, only giving it up last year because we found it very hard. Unlike adopting, fostering is different because the parents are always in the backround. I though Jamie gave a simple but very good answer. If you are stuck for something to do, the simple things work best...go to the park/playground. Play football, skipping, the cinema.
Pens/paper..arts & crafts. Orgainise a treasure hunt! Often these kids were missing out on the normal family activites that we take for granted so they enjoy them all the more!

 

[rockin'robin]

Ur right, it's not an easy job. Takes a lot of patience & understanding dealing with foster kids. Some people do it from the goodness of their hearts, others just for the $$.

When fostering a child who is a pre-teen or a teen, they are already pretty much into their own mind set. I "received" my 3 boys at ages 12, 8 and 6. The 12 yr. old was already into trouble when I got him. He disrupted my home so much, but I hung in there. He's 18 now and is doing alright, very mature for his age. The other 2, I had absolutely no problem with them.
I subsequently adopted all 3 at ages 15, 13 and 10.

Was thinking of possibly fostering a little deaf girl, but haven't made up my mind yet. Don't believe I could just "foster", I would have to adopt, I could not give up a child that has been a part of my home and everyday life. Too painful, and knowing the child needed a stable home life and environment.

 

[LuciaDisturbed]

Ur right, it's not an easy job. Takes a lot of patience & understanding dealing with foster kids. Some people do it from the goodness of their hearts, others just for the $$.

When fostering a child who is a pre-teen or a teen, they are already pretty much into their own mind set. I "received" my 3 boys at ages 12, 8 and 6. The 12 yr. old was already into trouble when I got him. He disrupted my home so much, but I hung in there. He's 18 now and is doing alright, very mature for his age. The other 2, I had absolutely no problem with them.
I subsequently adopted all 3 at ages 15, 13 and 10.

Was thinking of possibly fostering a little deaf girl, but haven't made up my mind yet. Don't believe I could just "foster", I would have to adopt, I could not give up a child that has been a part of my home and everyday life. Too painful, and knowing the child needed a stable home life and environment.

Rockin'robin, I want to say, thank you for caring for and then adopting these three boys. There are not enough foster and adoptive parents for all the children who are in the system in this country.

Go for it, take in another kid. That deaf girl might appreciate you taking her in a whole of a lot. You could foster a deaf girl whose parental rights has already been terminated by the state so that when you foster her you could eventually adopt her, too. Go for it.

When I was in the system myself I wished every single day that somebody would come and adopt me and take me away from that horrible orphanage type place forever. Seriously. I went into the system at age 13 and was in the system for a little over 5 years.