I know how you feel, I'm profoundly deaf with CI. My speech are so-so, depend on how comfortable I feel with other people. However, my communicating skill in the group is really...really bad. I can't handle more than 3 people talking, and they don't notice me because I'm usually left out.
Back in the highschool, people tend to LOVE to test my hearing skill, as in talking dirt near me to see if I catch it or not. When I hear what exactly they said, I always ask them "What the fuck did you say about me?" or "Say that again, hmm?", they always respond "oh nothing...*shift eyes* nothing really". It's really sad how they don't have enough balls to say it right in my face. At the same time, I feels extremely angry because I don't get to know what they said. And eh, girls tend to sway away from me because they don't want to look like completely idiot(In my point of view)
I always told myself "Well ok, it's just those stupid highschool kids. Once I get the hell out of here, my life should get better....just ___ more years left"
