Both my wife (Angela) and I were mainstreamed oralists through high school and part-way through college. Angela learned ASL "cold-turkey" after she transferred to Gallaudet, while I learned it during a 2-year church mission working in Deaf communities in three different states. I then transferred to Gallaudet after the mission and continued my transformation from "mainstreamed oralist" to "proud Deafie." 
Although Angela and I graduated from Gally and have made many Deaf friends, she and I still sometimes disagree about meeting other Deafies we don't know. She prefers to keep her circle of Deaf friends small, while I like to meet as many as possible, so we have to compromise. One good example is the recent National Training Conference (NTC) in DC sponsored by Deaf and Hard of Hearing in Government (DHHIG) last May. Angela and I both work for the Federal government, but she didn't want to go to the NTC with me...she simply wasn't interested in meeting other Deafies she didn't know. All I can do is respect her wishes.
On the other hand, she doesn't seem to mind mingling with Hearies even though she is profoundly deaf, while I tend to resist them and I can hear a little better than she can. It's hard for me to fully comprehend how any Deafie is willing to go to Hearie events where communication is a challenge, vs. going to Deafie events where it is easy?! 
