During my early years at school, I didnt notice that I was different and there was no "one time" that occurred to make me realize that I was different. It started subtle around 5th grade. I think that was when the kids I knew since kindergarten started rejecting me for no reason. At first, I didnt understand it and then the bullying came next. That was when I started realize that I wasnt like them. It really hurted a lot cuz those kids were my neighborhood and school friends since I was 5 years old and all of sudden, I am not good enough for them. Middle school was pure pure pure hell...trying to fit in but couldnt understand why I wasnt able to fully fit in with any groups. Yes, I had friends but even with them, I felt different. During high school, things got better for a few reasons...my best friend who is deaf finally was able to go to the same school as I did, the student population was triple the size of my elementary and middle school population so it was easy for me to blend in, and the maturity level. However, the void feeling still grew bigger and bigger because I started worrying about my future and what kinds of job I could get since I had never been exposed to any Deaf role models..just hearing only.
I hated feeling different...I was the kind of person who needed to fit in.
