dd
for sharing that. I think I can understand and identify with many parts of it. Not that I know exactly how you are being and your experience. That is your own. But I know that I see myself as a spiritual person but not at all as a religious person. I know that lotta times, how I understand something has no words. I can see energy and see what I mean but hard to speak it or label it.
And the act of labeling it, itself changes the meaning, changes the essence. Like trying to box the wind.
I spoke very late and would take my parents by the hand and try to lead them where I wanted to go, and gesture, and try to show them the books I wanted.
I always loved books and loved to go through the pages before I could read. Some people had hard time understanding me
I spent a lot of time by myself and silently, because of the above, and also because I was an only child, and a shy kid and had some early peer interaction issues or social sensitivity.
I also have a tendency to be quiet and feel things, to watch things.
One time I was at a pre-college university camp for a week and the campers were paired off by two, each duo slept in one of the dorm rooms on the college campus where we attempting to simulate "going to college". My roommate was reading a book on her bed and I sat and watched her. I didn't think anything would be wrong with it and I didn't realize I was staring. She said I was weird and creepy and complained to the person acting as RA <Resident Assistant> that I was staring at her.
I've learned to more emulate from other people do.
But I often feel as though I'm going between a bunch of different worlds - Jewish vs. non, Deaf vs. hearing...my own way of Being vs. typical way.
