Deaf View of Deafies from Hearing Family

[spiderjump]

I had my birthday recently, last month. That day made me look back on my life and think about things. One thing I never throughly understood is this: Why do people who profess their deaf pride and so on look at people who are from hearing familes differently. And why do deaf people who are completly deaf consider other deafs who still have some hearing left as not a true deaf person. I could see how other deaf people looked at me differently back in the day.

 

[BLeGal2]

The all of the deafs that I know consider any other deaf with any hearing left still a true deaf person. Just different raising I guess

 

[Bebonang]

I can understand where you are coming from. I am the same way living with hearing parents including hearing siblings and I had to go to mainstream school (I am not alone as I have deaf students in our classroom usually small group). It just made me mad when both of my two schools, elementary and high school, are not accommodating me with ASL and notetakers.

I don't think that we use Deaf Pride very much unless we want to protest with Audists that want to put us in the oral only environment without Deaf community or ever meet any deaf people. Of course, we are proud to be deaf/Deaf and HOH and there is nothing to be ashame of it.

The hearing society is trying to make us feel small when they prefered to use oral method and not use the ASL or any other kind of accommodations for us to access when we need to understand what is going on around us. We were raised in the mainstream schools to be in the oral only method until early of 1970. Then they tried the SEE (Signed Exact English) and TC (Total Communication) but both of them does not work out very well. Beside, we need the full toolbox to see which communication for the deaf is better as we are all different when we want to communicate with the deaf people or hearing people.

Don't forget there is different degrees of hearing loss from mild to profound hearing loss for all kinds of people. I have a severe to profound hearing loss and I can not hear the sounds too well with my hearing aid so I have given up my hearing aid which was a month ago. I am very relieve to not have to wear hearing aid. No problem with no sounds. Yay!

 

[Passivist]

9 out of 10 deaf people come from hearing parents/families, it makes little sense to call people 'oralists' and discriminators all the time, it solves nothing. Deaf pride doesn't mean it is fine to criticise hearing people all the time either. The reality of deaf people is pride leads to a fall. It is unfair and all the rest of it, but deaf people have to change, that's the bottom line, because it is no loss to hearing mainstream to ignore us.

I don't want forever to be on one side or another, and neither do I want one culture pitted against another,there is room for both and a lot of deaf retreat behind their deafness to not participate in things. I understand the injustice of deaf being treated unfairly, but that's how it is and it won't change simply because we complain about it, or even get a law about it. Disability acts have been in force for years, I see no lessening of complaints it isn't working, the reason is that deaf do not make that extra effort. If we are waiting for 'society' to come around to us, we have a long wait.

We have to make all the running, that's life.... I'm amazed that some deaf people who rarely if ever mix daily with hearing socially, complain hearing don't come to them, it isn't going to happen, social doesn't work that way.

 

[shel90]

9 out of 10 deaf people come from hearing parents/families, it makes little sense to call people 'oralists' and discriminators all the time, it solves nothing. Deaf pride doesn't mean it is fine to criticise hearing people all the time either. The reality of deaf people is pride leads to a fall. It is unfair and all the rest of it, but deaf people have to change, that's the bottom line, because it is no loss to hearing mainstream to ignore us.

I don't want forever to be on one side or another, and neither do I want one culture pitted against another,there is room for both and a lot of deaf retreat behind their deafness to not participate in things. I understand the injustice of deaf being treated unfairly, but that's how it is and it won't change simply because we complain about it, or even get a law about it. Disability acts have been in force for years, I see no lessening of complaints it isn't working, the reason is that deaf do not make that extra effort. If we are waiting for 'society' to come around to us, we have a long wait.

We have to make all the running, that's life.... I'm amazed that some deaf people who rarely if ever mix daily with hearing socially, complain hearing don't come to them, it isn't going to happen, social doesn't work that way.

I know many people from Deaf families and I dont see them complaining about hearing people too much. In fact, it is those deaf who are from hearing families who are the ones complaining about hearing people and society.

 

[A]

yeah, you often find the ones who complain the most about hearing people are the ones who were raised in oralism and hearing society.
Deaf people of deaf family have nothing to complain about other than people complaining to them they are not hearing enough (especially job opportunities) and they want to prove they can do anything but hear. There's nothing wrong with being too deaf. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being too hearing either (afterall, without my hearing aids, I can't prevent myself from hearing loud musics. I didn't wear my CI at the fair the other day, and i could hear the loud booming drumbeat - which is very muffled - all day in my unimplanted ear, I came home with ringing in my ears) . Acceptence is importance.

 

[A]

I had my birthday recently, last month. That day made me look back on my life and think about things. One thing I never throughly understood is this: Why do people who profess their deaf pride and so on look at people who are from hearing familes differently. And why do deaf people who are completly deaf consider other deafs who still have some hearing left as not a true deaf person. I could see how other deaf people looked at me differently back in the day.

honestly, I think it is very rare for a deaf to have no residential hearing at all. Most deaf have at least some left, and most have a working auditory nerves too. So I don't think one can be "deaf enough". The only differences is that they were born to a deaf family and have no interests in hearing technologies and all that.

 

[freckles]

I know many people from Deaf families and I dont see them complaining about hearing people too much. In fact, it is those deaf who are from hearing families who are the ones complaining about hearing people and society.

is that bad?

 

[Passivist]

"The only differences is that they were born to a deaf family and have no interests in hearing technologies and all that."

Many have no interest in hearing people at all... and make no attempt to bridge the divide. A lot are Greta Garbo wannabees they want the access, but nothing else. For me access has to have a real purpose and that is broadening our social areas, not limiting them. I do not think in some areas deaf can provide enough variety, and stimulation for other deaf.

 

[A]

How do you know that? They never written to them or anything?

 

[A]

anyway, it doesn't matter because I know there are wealthy people who do not attempt to talk to people who are not wealthy.

 

[Bebonang]

I know many people from Deaf families and I dont see them complaining about hearing people too much. In fact, it is those deaf who are from hearing families who are the ones complaining about hearing people and society.

Well, I am sorry, Shel90. It is so happen to be me always complaining about hearing people and the oral only method in both elementary school and high school. The Deaf children of Deaf families are just lucky because the Deaf families knows what it is like to be deaf and know that we can not struggle in the oral only methods except to ASL. I am jealous of the Deaf families and wish my parents and my sister were like them. That was my dream. It would make our life a lot more easier.

 

[Passivist]

anyway, it doesn't matter because I know there are wealthy people who do not attempt to talk to people who are not wealthy.

I think it matters a huge amount. Deaf are very isolated and seriously disabled people communication-wise, I am sure most do not want total restriction to deaf-only areas, most of us want a choice. To advance even the deaf world we need new ideas, new people, constant stimulation, an ability to get on with and work with hearing people, etc. What the deaf-only area advocates is the demise of the deaf community. A sterile community. Mostly it is existing online and not on the ground already, much face to face contact and socialising has been replaced with areas like this, text only... The jury is still out facebook and Twittering is better than meeting real people day in and day out. Hearing can utilise these things because at the end of the day they can still turn on a radio, go to the theatre, watch a TV etc with no need for assistance to follow, we by and large cannot, so cannot afford to restrict ourselves to text-only social relationships.

 

[A]

I don't think it is really any of your business. As long as they know how to read and write in English and know how to communicate in ASL with each other ( even with hearing people who happened to know ASL) , it is really up to them how to raise their children and how they want to live. Amish community are the same way and we show respect how they live, so why pick on the deaf?


This is the first time I seen where someone say we should read less and talk/listen more funny how hearing population want people to read more. btw, my opinion that The ones who isolate the most are the ones who don't know ASL, raised in oralism, and have difficult time with hearing world anyhow despite that they were raised in the hearing society.

 

[deafdyke]

honestly, I think it is very rare for a deaf to have no residential hearing at all. Most deaf have at least some left, and most have a working auditory nerves too. So I don't think one can be "deaf enough". The only differences is that they were born to a deaf family and have no interests in hearing technologies and all that.

It IS Even many DODA families opt for speech therapy and usage of hearing aids/CIs. There ARE DODA families where the kids are hoh! The "voice off" ASL only folks do exist, but most get exposure to both worlds.

 

[Passivist]

I don't think it is really any of your business. As long as they know how to read and write in English and know how to communicate in ASL with each other ( even with hearing people who happened to know ASL) , it is really up to them how to raise their children and how they want to live. Amish community are the same way and we show respect how they live, so why pick on the deaf?


This is the first time I seen where someone say we should read less and talk/listen more funny how hearing population want people to read more. btw, my opinion that The ones who isolate the most are the ones who don't know ASL, raised in oralism, and have difficult time with hearing world anyhow despite that they were raised in the hearing society.

Well, if you lose hearing you are disabled by it,so that will cause huge problems, very few are happy being deaf except those who never heard anyway. I didn't say read more and not 'talk' I just suggested a text relationship is nowhere near the same as a real one, some deaf have only 'friends' via social networking, and many have never met them face to face or are likely to, or might have the means to talk with them if they did.

So I'd question the social value of that. Hearing have an alternative to talking to others, deaf claim they haven't, but it is still not an effective substitute for people in the flesh. Do you believe texting to hearing people is the same as communicating with them face to face ? surely not, it's a funny sort of equality ! I wasn't raised in oralism, but many I know who were are not as bothered as you think about that. Possibly born deaf feel more threatened by oralism than the deaf who were educated with it.

Most of us know the total onus is on DEAF PEOPLE to make all the running, it's pointless to suggest access will come if WE do nothing about it, it will open doors but it still requires you to walk through them, or you are no better off.

 

[shel90]

Well, if you lose hearing you are disabled by it,so that will cause huge problems, very few are happy being deaf except those who never heard anyway. I didn't say read more and not 'talk' I just suggested a text relationship is nowhere near the same as a real one, some deaf have only 'friends' via social networking, and many have never met them face to face or are likely to, or might have the means to talk with them if they did.

So I'd question the social value of that. Hearing have an alternative to talking to others, deaf claim they haven't, but it is still not an effective substitute for people in the flesh. Do you believe texting to hearing people is the same as communicating with them face to face ? surely not, it's a funny sort of equality ! I wasn't raised in oralism, but many I know who were are not as bothered as you think about that. Possibly born deaf feel more threatened by oralism than the deaf who were educated with it.

Most of us know the total onus is on DEAF PEOPLE to make all the running, it's pointless to suggest access will come if WE do nothing about it, it will open doors but it still requires you to walk through them, or you are no better off.

If you feel that way about yourself as a deaf person, then that's your perogative. However, many of us feel differently and we dont really care. We are still in contact with people even if it is just other deaf people only. What's wrong with deaf people? We are human beings just as hearing people are.

 

[A]

If a hearing person know ASL, deaf people do communicate with them. So I don't think it is like they are avoiding them. Unless they don't like hearing people for whatever reasons.

I was born deaf, raised in Oral-only environment with HAs (never taught sign language of any kinds), and I don't talk to people much. I don't like frustration that goes with it. I feel my relationship with hearing people in person doesn't make more of difference ( because I keep saying huh and what, interrupting the conversation flow) than talking to them on the computer.

 

[Frisky Feline]

If a hearing person know ASL, deaf people do communicate with them. So I don't think it is like they are avoiding them. Unless they don't like hearing people for whatever reasons.

I was born deaf, raised in Oral-only environment with HAs (never taught sign language of any kinds), and I don't talk to people much. I don't like frustration that goes with it.

how about now, do you learn ASL a little by now? i dont know if its too personal that i can't PM you so i ask you here.

 

[A]

I'm been learning. From start ASL and lifeprint. There's no ASL class right now, and my son is off from school so I don't know what to do about him as I am his only babysitter. He is taking ASL kid camp in aug. for a week, though.