Deaf boy attached to mum

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kat05

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My 22-month old deaf boy is having a hard time to cope with my departs. I have to leave him with my mother for 2 hours every day and he is really upset. He generally seems very attached to me and I guess that he cannot understand that I will be back. I have tried signing to him that I'll be back or even giving him a role play with teddy bears; no use. Any ideas?
 
My daughter went through something like this. She only has a mild hearing loss. Her fits went to the extremes and she had separation anxiety disorder. IT took a long time, but she finally overcame it.

Does this happen every time you have to leave him? Does he have a special toy or blanket that could be calming and help? With my daughter, it was a teddy bear and a love of butterflies and rainbows. She carried Cathy, her bear, everywhere and we took a picture of her poster that my sister-in-law got her. It had a beautiful butterfly at the top and the rainbow came from the colors from it's wings. She is 18 now, and still has Cathy and the poster.
 
2 years old either deaf or hearing are going to have that separation anxiety. It's good he has a healthy attachment to you.

You couldn't explain it to a hearing child either. They aren't old enough to understand. He will adjust as it happens time and time again and you always come back.
 
Bottesini said:
2 years old either deaf or hearing are going to have that separation anxiety. It's good he has a healthy attachment to you.

You couldn't explain it to a hearing child either. They aren't old enough to understand. He will adjust as it happens time and time again and you always come back.
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Deaf or hearing all children around that age have attachment issues... It's a normal part of growing up and they'll soon realise you're coming back and they'll grow out of it.

He prob only cries for a little while after you leave before Grandma finds something fun and exciting for him to do!
 
The thing that finally worked for me was when my daughter was given a puppet which had a mummy rabbit and a baby rabbit finger puppet which was attached to its hand with Velcro. We played mummy rabbit plays with baby rabbit and they hold hands and cuddle, then baby rabbit pulls off mummy rabbit and baby rabbit goes to do fun things that mummy rabbit is too big for (rather than that mummy rabbit goes off to do things that baby rabbit is missing out on, important difference, mummy rabbit did not go to the shops until we had played it several times). She got to play the baby rabbit puppet. I have no idea why this worked better than the million times we did it with other dollies and teddies, whether it was the puppet or the Velcro or the fact they were obviously mummy and baby rather than two random teddies that did not match, who knows, but it suddenly clicked that being apart was OK.

The only question I have is does Grandma also sign? I presume so, but if not then he may feel isolated without you as you leave him with someone with whom it is more challenging to communicate. If she does not sign then he will need to feel confident his needs can be expressed easily in other ways such as picture cards to cover the simple bases such as hungry, thirsty, need new diaper/the potty.

If you all sign then it sounds the same as a million other children, one day they will just stop being so anxious about it and until then you grit your teeth and get out as calmly as possible.
 
Thank you guys for the posts!
Yes we all sign and my son signs to everyone (even to kids in the street). I understand that his stress is part of growing up however I find it difficult to explain that I'll be back so he can start coping with it. He has no comforting items (blankets, teddies etc) but I shall try the mum-baby puppets.
 
Now another little issue, maybe it would be the same with a hearing toddler, however in the case of my deaf boy I cannot find the way to explain to him: he keeps waking up in the night, getting out his crib on his own and wanting me and then looking for toys. When he does this he seems overexcited. I have tried putting him back in the crib but he gets out again. I keep the lights off, I do not express any feelings then just to show him that in night time we must sleep. I am so tired of this thing going on every night I can hardly write on the computer. Any ideas?
 
kat05 said:
Now another little issue, maybe it would be the same with a hearing toddler, however in the case of my deaf boy I cannot find the way to explain to him: he keeps waking up in the night, getting out his crib on his own and wanting me and then looking for toys. When he does this he seems overexcited. I have tried putting him back in the crib but he gets out again. I keep the lights off, I do not express any feelings then just to show him that in night time we must sleep. I am so tired of this thing going on every night I can hardly write on the computer. Any ideas?
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Normal for some kids, hearing or not.

When my girls were able to climb out of the crib, I would leave the crib side down and put some type of cushion on the floor (in case they fell even climbing over the short rail. I would also have in my room (because we had the space), a blanket on the floor near my bed and told the girls they could come in my room and sleep (or play quietly) on the blanket. One daughter would always wake me up when she came in the room :(, but the other daughter would just come in and lie down on the blanket w/o waking me up.
 
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