Christmas

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Kaja8948

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I have a question about whether or not I overreacted. I am hearing, my bf is deaf. I sign, and my kids sign. He and I have been together 5 years, and he very rarely will come to family functions. Usually it is because he is working, however, this year Christmas fell on his scheduled day off. He refused to come to my parents house with us for Christmas, and stated it was because "nobody would talk to him." It really hurt me, because *I* talk to him. My kids talk to him. It's not like he would be sitting on the couch oblivious, like at HIS parents house. I just want to know if I am out of line for being upset.:ty:
 
Kaja8948 said:
I have a question about whether or not I overreacted. I am hearing, my bf is deaf. I sign, and my kids sign. He and I have been together 5 years, and he very rarely will come to family functions. Usually it is because he is working, however, this year Christmas fell on his scheduled day off. He refused to come to my parents house with us for Christmas, and stated it was because "nobody would talk to him." It really hurt me, because *I* talk to him. My kids talk to him. It's not like he would be sitting on the couch oblivious, like at HIS parents house. I just want to know if I am out of line for being upset.:ty:
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Everyone comes to my house normally. I am in charge. You host. You make the rules!

They host , their rules.
 
I know for me, Christmas is one of the most dreaded times of the year. Even though you and your kids talk to him it still isn't inclusive. It is kind like you are on the outside and awkward no matter what and you are limited in the conversations you can have. This year I sat in a corner and knit the whole time. An improvement on most years when I hide in another room.
 
JennyB said:
I know for me, Christmas is one of the most dreaded times of the year. Even though you and your kids talk to him it still isn't inclusive. It is kind like you are on the outside and awkward no matter what and you are limited in the conversations you can have. This year I sat in a corner and knit the whole time. An improvement on most years when I hide in another room.
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Yup. Exactly. Even if the OP and her kids sign to the boyfriend, it still doesn't make him part of the group. His participation in the event is controlled by what and when you choose to talk with him. He has no ability to strike up a conversation with someone else, or join in an already happening conversation. It's a waste of his time, really. It may very well be the same thing at his own parents' house, but the difference is that it is HIS family. And that is a big difference.

You could get mad at him for not being sympathetic and wasting his time on your family rather than his own, but it's really not fair for you to get mad at him because he doesn't want to go to a place where nobody signs. He signs with you and your kids all the time anyway, right? so it's not going to be any different if you all go to your family's house for dinner.

And just a hunch, but I would bet in the past he has arranged or volunteered to work on Christmas so he doesn't have to deal with situations like this because he knows how touchy they are.
 
Well, my opinion is that Xmas comes once a year, and it's a special time for all families to get together. I feel the BF should have at least made an effort to attend. Compromising in any relationship is imperative for it to work. Many times, I disliked my Inlaws, and their crude atempts to have a conversation with me....but. I reconsidered, and believe they were trying to make me feel welcome in the best way they could.

Deafies can't expect all hearies to know ASL...he's being selfish!....If the inlaws were blatently rude to him, I can see his not wanting to go, then again, for just one special day, like Xmas....let by gones be by gones!...If the BF really cared about you and ur kids, he would have at least made an effort on ur behalf....just for 1 day!
 
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