Challenges with late- deafened without sign language and hearing aids

Rio

Rio

Brady lady
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This is a challenge for me, my dad has a hearng loss. Our communication always leads to an argument. He says, how do you talk to the deaf? I say, sign language you can't compare yourself to a deaf person impossible bec they grew up with a language. He's not convinced and continues arguing.

I got frustrated, that I have a writing board to write phrases on it. Any suggestions what to do?

He won't wear a hearing aid or learn sign language help!
 
Hey..
i suggest you to talk with him politely and try to convince them to wear a hearing aid.. i think this is best option because now for him its difficult to learn sign language.. writing on boar is also good idea
 
Why doesn't he want a hearing aid? Seriously, late deafened people can be SO stubborn. Have him try out a hearing aid. They ROCK. If he doesn't want to look like an old person with an aid, get him a colored aid so he looks like a rock star!
 
so let him be. if he felt left out - well there's a solution.... a hearing aid.

no point in arguing with him. he'll just get more defensive and less receptive.
 
If he doesn't want HAs or to learn Sign, you can't make him.

He might be more willing to try a speechreading class.
 
Anij said:
If he doesn't want HAs or to learn Sign, you can't make him.

He might be more willing to try a speechreading class.
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Anij, you got that right with the bold statement. My mother had lost her hearing when she was in late 50 or 60. I don't remember when she lost her hearing. My sister told me that our Mom could not hear. My sister tried to tell her to get a new hearing aid and she will be able to hear the sounds. Our mom refused to wear hearing aid. After all those years of me being deaf since birth, I will never understand why she refused to wear it and also not bothered to sign ASL either. My sister had struggled with her and also she had Alzheimer's Disease. That scared her very much when she had those. My mother passed away 7 years ago (2006).

Yeah, you can not make a senior parent wear something new. That is sad. Only way to use is paper and pen if he want to communicate with you. Speechreading or trying to read lips might not work with him either, but if he is willing to try, then let him learn how to read lips or speechread. I doubt he will want to go through with it. **sigh**

I can not believe our parents are ignorant when it come with hearing loss or deafness. They are not fully accepted with their deafness at all. Not only that, get this, they don't want to be like us at all. They were ashamed of being deaf or HOH, period. That is terrible. :(
 
Most late deafened don't want hearing aids for a number of reasons, one really super big one is cost. Many insurance companies don't provide coverage. Secondly, for many, the services available to them aren't local. My father is going to look at Costco because he's reached the point that's it's annoying him much more all that he's missing. He no longer wants to deal with the VA because the only office that handles hearing aids is way on the other side of Boston and the long drive isn't worth it.

It isn't that they're ashamed: don't forget as late deafened, they have no real idea about what hearing aids can do, the different brands, financial assistance (if any), how to maintain them and how everything will change because of them. It's a lot to take in. For some it's a vanity thing. Hearing aids represent growing old and it forces them to look at their mortality which is scary for many people. My grandmother could have used a cane in the house but she refused because she said it made her look old...she was 90 at the time too. For many facing the reality of hearing loss results in a wave of emotions: denial, anger, depression and eventually acceptance. If you love your Dad, be supportive and encouraging. You may be the expert on hearing aids but it's all new to him and people don't adapt to change easily.

Laura
 
Laura good post. Most late deaf people, myself included, have never been around other deafs, hearing aids or CI's. Seldom if ever see someone using sign language. It is extremely difficult when things change especially suddenly. My situation is reversed, I got a CI so I could commumicate with my mom. Maybe take your dad to an audi and let him try a HA, he might be pleasantly surprised in what he hears. We used whiteboard and markers for over a year until I got my CI. Even then my mom would not write things down. Older people are pretty set in their ways. I hope you find a middle ground where you both can be happy.
 
Rio said:
Wirelessly posted

This is a challenge for me, my dad has a hearng loss. Our communication always leads to an argument. He says, how do you talk to the deaf? I say, sign language you can't compare yourself to a deaf person impossible bec they grew up with a language. He's not convinced and continues arguing.

I got frustrated, that I have a writing board to write phrases on it. Any suggestions what to do?

He won't wear a hearing aid or learn sign language help!
Click to expand...

I used to have a loved one who was hard of hearing. He was like my stepdad. He didn't want to learn sign language and also didn't wear a HA. I felt like he was missing out on communication and life. There is nothing you can do except to write on a board like what you have. It's really a problem for you and your dad just doesn't understand this. But there is really nothing you can do.

You can't make somebody do something he or she doesn't want to do. However, you might consider writing to him a letter or a note, explaining that you miss him and want to communicate with your father. Tell your father how much it would mean to you as a daughter as well as how much it would mean to you both. Tell him how much he would miss if he stopped communicating with you totally because you and him don't associate anymore. Perhaps he will come around. All fathers love their children.

you are lucky. You have a dad. Mine died when I was a little girl. Good luck. Let me know how it goes. My name is Skypony. What is your name?:wave:
 
Angel1989 said:
Laura good post. Most late deaf people, myself included, have never been around other deafs, hearing aids or CI's. Seldom if ever see someone using sign language. It is extremely difficult when things change especially suddenly. My situation is reversed, I got a CI so I could commumicate with my mom. Maybe take your dad to an audi and let him try a HA, he might be pleasantly surprised in what he hears. We used whiteboard and markers for over a year until I got my CI. Even then my mom would not write things down. Older people are pretty set in their ways. I hope you find a middle ground where you both can be happy.
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What about a hearing dog? How do you get them? While I was in college, I went to a seminar where the speaker was deaf and she had a hearing dog. It was awesome. The hearing dog will get the door, phone and you if someone wants to talk to you. Hearing dogs are trained to do stuff like that and are just so incredible.
 
skypony said:
What about a hearing dog? How do you get them? While I was in college, I went to a seminar where the speaker was deaf and she had a hearing dog. It was awesome. The hearing dog will get the door, phone and you if someone wants to talk to you. Hearing dogs are trained to do stuff like that and are just so incredible.
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It's a long process to own a hearing service dog and there's a number of requirements that must be met. You have to be able to afford the partial cost, you have to agree to have no other pets in the home, and you have to travel at your own expense for the training involved. You can imagine if you have a job that you'll need to take time off, and they check in on you after the fact to make sure you're following their guidelines. I almost think it's easier to train the dog yourself. Bear in mind you need to be in a setting to care for the dog. If you live in an apartment/condo with no yard and a large or medium sized dog that needs exercise, you're not a good candidate as opposed to someone with a house and fenced in yard.
 
Lau2046 said:
It's a long process to own a hearing service dog and there's a number of requirements that must be met. You have to be able to afford the partial cost, you have to agree to have no other pets in the home, and you have to travel at your own expense for the training involved. You can imagine if you have a job that you'll need to take time off, and they check in on you after the fact to make sure you're following their guidelines. I almost think it's easier to train the dog yourself. Bear in mind you need to be in a setting to care for the dog. If you live in an apartment/condo with no yard and a large or medium sized dog that needs exercise, you're not a good candidate as opposed to someone with a house and fenced in yard.
Click to expand...

I didn't know that. However, pugs are small dogs you can have in apartment. They are great for hearing dogs. They can be stubborn, but they are trainable. The more subtle small dogs are great as well. I watch alot of dog shows on tv. They give out alot of information on service dogs and how amazing these dogs really are. Thanx for sharing. I liked what you wrote.
 
My mum has Ushers type 3 and besides ringing to SCREAM and RANT she is NOT willing to wear hearing aids or have the expensive testing and lenes in her glasses

After taking her to a free hearing screening(which she did) which was at a hearing service center and she refused parttake in speech reading lessons.

I now refuse to be dragged into her going deafblind stuff because we see things so differently

When she is finally placed in a locked long-term psych falicty(living at grandparents inbetween trips to the locked ward) I will request that her money is used to purchase hearing aids and new glasses and that she is wears them daily.
 
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