Burn out?

Lysander said:
How are they even able to be in a relationship? How do they communicate? How do they argue? How do they express their love and gratitude for one another? This just baffles me.
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I don't know what happens if one of the partners were deaf with no usable hearing or is unable to use hearing aids etc. But I can say that one friend who has severe hearing loss (since birth), is able to get around in the hearing world (Better than me it seems lol) but works within the deaf world- deaf schools for most of her career. She married a hearing man (who I also knew). I THINK in the beginning he did try to learn some sign... before they married. After they married he barely signed all that much. From what I can remember, they did sign to each other but rarely (there is one incident that I remember vividly from nearly 20 years ago...not a nice incident either). I think the poor communication- both sign and verbal was one of the factors in their eventual divorce 16 years into the marriage. He never made the effort to go with her to deaf events(or work events really)- refused to 99% of the time.
 
Late-deafened...and I had several deaf friends, so we conversed in ASL. My husband was hearing, we conversed verbally. He "tried" to learn the alphabet...gave up on it...always asking me what my deaf friends were saying...and me always asking what his hearing friends were saying....It took it's toll on the relationship. And of course his saying.."I wish you could hear!"....The last straw was when we went to a Party (all hearing) and he did not tell anyone I was deaf, just expected me to lip-read everybody, even in groups....Sooo...when a partner refuses to learn ASL...there will be problems down the line, resentfulness too. It's my belief that many hearing people are somewhat "ashamed" of using ASL in front of their hearing friends....or it was the case with my partner.
 
Reba said:
Yes, he did learn it. We haven't had as much opportunity to use it lately but he hasn't forgotten it. He's better at receptive than expressive but he can converse. He's not self-conscious about signing in public at all.
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That's really very cool. Does he use it outside of conversing with you?
 
Freya0821 said:
He asked me to meet his family & kids - to me that's a big deal, especially since I don't know exactly where I stand with him. Part of me wants to ask him if he's sure about me/us before I do. But I can't tell if that's me being prudent or if that's my own insecurities talking.
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Yes having you meet his family is a big deal. Do you think he's introducing you to his family so he can show off his future ex-girlfriend? "Hey Mom, check out this loser, I'm gonna dump her in a few weeks, she won't see it coming"
 
A Nihilist said:
Yes having you meet his family is a big deal. Do you think he's introducing you to his family so he can show off his future ex-girlfriend? "Hey Mom, check out this loser, I'm gonna dump her in a few weeks, she won't see it coming"
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Haha. Aww. You made me snarf my soda.
 
A Nihilist said:
Yes having you meet his family is a big deal. Do you think he's introducing you to his family so he can show off his future ex-girlfriend? "Hey Mom, check out this loser, I'm gonna dump her in a few weeks, she won't see it coming"
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wow lol
 
A Nihilist said:
Yes having you meet his family is a big deal. Do you think he's introducing you to his family so he can show off his future ex-girlfriend? "Hey Mom, check out this loser, I'm gonna dump her in a few weeks, she won't see it coming"
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LMAO! OK... fair point. It went great! His family is wonderful :)
 
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