Let me share a story from my experience, and it relates to my old high school days.
Now, remember, I was a kid who didn't learn all the good ways to deal with hard situations - childhood programming, I suppose, to not make it so easy for me to stand up for myself.
I had a so called "best friend" (she proclaimed herself that) who was always badmouthing about me behind my back, and sometimes she'll belittle me too. I always felt I had to walk on cracked eggshells around her - albeit I've had some good times with her, when she wasn't on "bullying" mode. This went on for about 4 years, with me staying away here and there, hanging out with other friends. I don't remember ever standing up to her before my senior year.
The final straw was when I had found out she was once again spreading shit about me... I walked up to her and confronted her, and I remember throwing the word "bitch" in there - she was really stunned to the point of slapping me. I didn't fight back, but I smiled. I also wrote her a letter saying she was the queen of bitches. Heh. Then she had one of her friends who bought her crap without hearing me out - you know, one of those friends who was popular and didn't really dig at depths even if she had the intelligence? I was made the bad guy - and worse, my "childhood programming" kicked in, so I didn't want to talk with her about my side. That pisses me off when I froze in these moments when I think I could've gotten a good word in.
Granted, I could have done things differently with all the knowledge I have now. :greddy: Life's just funny that way. We all have a problem with a sense of loss in control in these things - and I think a good way to take it back is to own up to our feelings and reactions. I'm still angry about what happened in high school, yes... and I own that.
Some of us put together a blog on bullies -
http://antibullying.blogspot.com
Let us know what you think!