Building Your Self-Esteem Back Up After Someone Rejects You

[rockin'robin]

One of the greatest fears people experience is the fear of rejection. That’s because there are few things that hurt as much as rejection. We create meanings about our worth based on incidents in which we’ve been rejected. These meanings then help shape our self-image, which dictates the decisions we make in our lives.

It’s very easy to believe that when someone rejects you, whether it’s in love, friendship, family, work, or otherwise, it’s because something is wrong with you. Anyone and everyone can be rejected, no matter who they are. If someone rejects you, it doesn’t diminish your innate value because it doesn’t affect your soul. It affects your ego, which loves to blame and thrives on making you feel like a victim. But your soul stays perfectly intact. The essence of who you are, the core of you, doesn’t change, and neither does your worth.

Rejection hurts when we internalize it. When we do this, we allow someone else’s actions and opinions to shape how we feel about ourselves. We then create a belief that the person who has rejected us is better. Conversely, we start to believe we are somehow unworthy. Yes, those who’ve rejected you may have had their reasons or rationales for doing so. Those reasons don’t have to be about you specifically, and they don’t mean anything about you as a person. In fact, the meanings you created about yourself based on rejection are actually not true.

See the bigger picture in rejection. If someone rejects you, it’s because you’re just not meant to be in that situation, no matter how much you want it.

In fact, if I look back on every rejection I have endured in my life, unequivocally, each was there as a compass to take me in a different direction that would bring me back to my soul’s path. Each rejection was a correction. When I was going off track in my soul’s journey, the rejection was a realignment toward what was best for me.

We all have things that happen to us that don’t make us feel good about ourselves. But the difference between people who are happy and healthy and those who are miserable and bitter is that happy people don’t internalize or create a meaning about themselves based on a particular rejection. It’s best to look at rejection as an opportunity for something else, something better, waiting just around the corner.

Resist the temptation to blame or hate the person who rejected you, even if he or she wasn’t nice about it. Find a way to wish that person well instead. You may not realize it in the moment, but that person is actually an angel in disguise, leading you in the right direction by putting an end to the path you were on. See it as a divine redirection instead.

http://www.positivethoughtsandmore....esteem-back-up-after-someone-rejects-you.html

 

[whatdidyousay!]

"Find a way to wish that person well instead. You may not realize it in the moment, but that person is actually an angel in disguise, leading you in the right direction by putting an end to the path you were on. See it as a divine redirection instead"

I disagree with this for a number of reasons , people are rejected for things they have no control over, the color of their skin , nose is too big
they dress funny etc.

 

[Jezie]

"Find a way to wish that person well instead. You may not realize it in the moment, but that person is actually an angel in disguise, leading you in the right direction by putting an end to the path you were on. See it as a divine redirection instead"

I disagree with this for a number of reasons , people are rejected for things they have no control over, the color of their skin , nose is too big
they dress funny etc.

True, but would it still not be a blessing in disguise? This way you do not have to worry about putting up with that person acting like they do not care when they really do.

 

[DeafDucky]

I was rejected by a friend after a 30 year friendship for a decision I made that person "disapproved of' (I won't go into details what that is sorry). Suffice it to say most everyone else in my life was fine with it though some were not on board at first. Yes it hurt that this friend did this...30 years is a long time for friendship and to throw it away. In the end...yes it is a blessing in disguise but no I wouldn't say "an angel' :P. I learned who my real friends were and who changed over the years- why keep that person in my life. My door will always be open though.

Doesn't mean I will hate my friend. I didn't have control over their decision but I sure as heck won't wish them ill- no sense in doing that.. doing that will just make MY life more miserable than it has to be. It took me a long time to understand that. I went through the same thing with another person, that individual hated me IMMENSELY after they married one of my friends, there were other issues but that's besides the point. For years I hated that person and pretty much did the same thing... until I discovered that spending all my energy on something that that person will never feel the effects of was just a... waste.

I won't lie and say I don't express dislike or negative thoughts (usually about the behavior or actions of people I know) but I still try to see the good in people (very very very hard to do in some cases lol).