bilateral CI kid

[ash345]

ok, so I went to the apple store last night to pick up my mac (was under warranty and getting worked on) so I walk in, and see this cute little boy, maybe 3 years old... with a flashing light on his head... he has a CI, then he turns... and he has bi-lateral CI's... I watch him for a while as I am waiting to be helped... and the little boy keeps looking at me too... so i try to start a conversation with him in ASL... hoping that his parents didn't just try to "fix" him... he looks at me and smiles... then runs up to his dad and starts pointing to me. I try to sign to the dad that his son is very cute... but he just voices something about 10 decibles... (I think he was trying to point out how his child is different than what I, a Deaf person, thinks)... well the little boy eventually does sign a little to me... and I lipread his dad saying that his son "signs a little. but doesn't 'need' it with the CI". I show the little boy my HA's... and then put them back in my pocket, and he is just looking at me smiling as I am signing to him. A few minutes later... he walked up to his dad, and took off both CI's and started to walk away, dad grabbed his son, and put them back on, this went back and forth for maybe 10 minutes... where the son didn't want the CI's on... dad wanted him to have them on... son wanted to be deaf... dad wanted him to be "hearing". Little boy kept coming up to me, and being super cute, he obviously didn't want his CI's on and his dad obviously wasn't going to let him get around that. It made me sad to see a little kid, so young, without the choice, to use a CI, or not... such a complicated surgery performed on such a young child, not once, but twice... AND depriving this child of sign language.

 

[dogmom]

 

[ash345]

yeah, the hardest thing for me... was seeing that little guy obviously not want his CI's on... and his dad constantly putting them back on him. I know what its like to be forced to live in a world that tries to make you something you aren't... and that is the world this little boy will be growing up in. if only his parents would let him be deaf, instead of telling him that he is wrong by forcing him to wear his CIs

 

[posts from hell]

Very sad. And people say that never happens.

 

[ash345]

yeah it was sad... this adorable little 3 year old boy... fighting with his dad because he didn't want to deal with the noise of the mall... i don't blame him...

 

[mbrek]

It's as if he's telling his dad "See? It's ok to be deaf. Other people are deaf..."

Yes... all "fixed" now. No need for to learn that silly ASL stuff.

 

[ash345]

yeah... and he obviously saw that I couldn't hear either... I did show him my hearing aids... and told him that I didn't like mine, asked if he liked his ci... he was super interested in my aids... it was pretty darn cute! not sure if the dad liked that I was signing to his son or not... but, maybe it opened his eyes. I just wish that Bryn (one of the techs there) would have been there too... because she signs, and his dad could have seen how easy communication was... now I'm not sure that would have made a difference, but... it would have maybe opened his eyes a little.

 

[jillio]

ok, so I went to the apple store last night to pick up my mac (was under warranty and getting worked on) so I walk in, and see this cute little boy, maybe 3 years old... with a flashing light on his head... he has a CI, then he turns... and he has bi-lateral CI's... I watch him for a while as I am waiting to be helped... and the little boy keeps looking at me too... so i try to start a conversation with him in ASL... hoping that his parents didn't just try to "fix" him... he looks at me and smiles... then runs up to his dad and starts pointing to me. I try to sign to the dad that his son is very cute... but he just voices something about 10 decibles... (I think he was trying to point out how his child is different than what I, a Deaf person, thinks)... well the little boy eventually does sign a little to me... and I lipread his dad saying that his son "signs a little. but doesn't 'need' it with the CI". I show the little boy my HA's... and then put them back in my pocket, and he is just looking at me smiling as I am signing to him. A few minutes later... he walked up to his dad, and took off both CI's and started to walk away, dad grabbed his son, and put them back on, this went back and forth for maybe 10 minutes... where the son didn't want the CI's on... dad wanted him to have them on... son wanted to be deaf... dad wanted him to be "hearing". Little boy kept coming up to me, and being super cute, he obviously didn't want his CI's on and his dad obviously wasn't going to let him get around that. It made me sad to see a little kid, so young, without the choice, to use a CI, or not... such a complicated surgery performed on such a young child, not once, but twice... AND depriving this child of sign language.

What a sad and disturbing situation. Obviously, the little boy connected to you as another deaf person. He realizes he is deaf. It is his parents that are in denial. And it is the child that will suffer.

 

[shel90]

Yep, I have seen that situation in real life one time too many and the kids end up with language delays or self-esteem issues. I have stated that so many times here on AD only to get told by the parents of children with CIs that I am basically a liar.

It has happened to many of us and it continues to happen..

 

[jillio]

Yep, I have seen that situation in real life one time too many and the kids end up with language delays or self-esteem issues. I have stated that so many times here on AD only to get told by the parents of children with CIs that I am basically a liar.

It has happened to many of us and it continues to happen..

Yep. Thanks to the "my kid is different" syndrome.

 

[shel90]

Yep. Thanks to the "my kid is different" syndrome.

*gag*

lol

My hearing son has language delays in some areas and I have never been ashamed of it nor denied it. I just accept it and get him the support that he needs instead of trying to make him like my daughter who is way ahead in language development.

 

[Speedy Hawk]

That so sad. That little boy sounds so sweet and cute.

 

[iowaboy]

And if you would have taken off your shoes, he would have followed suit, and the dad would have had one heck of a time keeping his footwear on.

I think there is way too much meaning being assigned here to the mimic-ry of a 3 year old with a short attention span. It is very likely that at most other times the kid would throw an absolute fit if you tried to take his implants away- like my daughter does, and most of the other kids with CI's that I've met.

The positive things that can be taken from the story include that the kid recognizes when someone communicates with him manually and that he was able to return a little of the same.

 

[shel90]

And if you would have taken off your shoes, he would have followed suit, and the dad would have had one heck of a time keeping his footwear on.

I think there is way too much meaning being assigned here to the mimic-ry of a 3 year old with a short attention span. It is very likely that at most other times the kid would throw an absolute fit if you tried to take his implants away- like my daughter does, and most of the other kids with CI's that I've met.

The positive things that can be taken from the story include that the kid recognizes when someone communicates with him manually and that he was able to return a little of the same.

I spent all of my life up to 25 years old living the life of a "broken" hearing person because people told me that I need to wear my hearing aids, that I need to speak more clearly, that I wasnt working hard enough to understand others, and so on.It started out when I was young with that exact same thing.

I ended up hating myself and my deafness so much that I engaged in self-destructive behaviors in my 20s that COULD have had long lasting physical consequences so I thank my lucky stars that I learned ASL and found the Deaf community before it was too late.

 

[jillio]

*gag*

lol

My hearing son has language delays in some areas and I have never been ashamed of it nor denied it. I just accept it and get him the support that he needs instead of trying to make him like my daughter who is way ahead in language development.

I wish more parents would be like you.

 

[jillio]

And if you would have taken off your shoes, he would have followed suit, and the dad would have had one heck of a time keeping his footwear on.

I think there is way too much meaning being assigned here to the mimic-ry of a 3 year old with a short attention span. It is very likely that at most other times the kid would throw an absolute fit if you tried to take his implants away- like my daughter does, and most of the other kids with CI's that I've met.

The positive things that can be taken from the story include that the kid recognizes when someone communicates with him manually and that he was able to return a little of the same.

I think you are refusing to give credit to this kid for recognizing someone with a similarity. If he was a 6 month old, it would have been mimicry. Not so from a 3 year old, and particularly not in this context.

What do you think that positive thing you have stated implies?

 

[jillio]

I spent all of my life up to 25 years old living the life of a "broken" hearing person because people told me that I need to wear my hearing aids, that I need to speak more clearly, that I wasnt working hard enough to understand others, and so on.It started out when I was young with that exact same thing.

I ended up hating myself and my deafness so much that I engaged in self-destructive behaviors in my 20s that COULD have had long lasting physical consequences so I thank my lucky stars that I learned ASL and found the Deaf community before it was too late.

Think how far ahead this 3 year old could be if his dad saw this interaction for what it means.

 

[shel90]

Gosh, I really hate it when hearing people dismiss us like that. We EXPERIENCED IT!

 

[deafskeptic]

ok, so I went to the apple store last night to pick up my mac (was under warranty and getting worked on) so I walk in, and see this cute little boy, maybe 3 years old... with a flashing light on his head... he has a CI, then he turns... and he has bi-lateral CI's... I watch him for a while as I am waiting to be helped... and the little boy keeps looking at me too... so i try to start a conversation with him in ASL... hoping that his parents didn't just try to "fix" him... he looks at me and smiles... then runs up to his dad and starts pointing to me. I try to sign to the dad that his son is very cute... but he just voices something about 10 decibles... (I think he was trying to point out how his child is different than what I, a Deaf person, thinks)... well the little boy eventually does sign a little to me... and I lipread his dad saying that his son "signs a little. but doesn't 'need' it with the CI". I show the little boy my HA's... and then put them back in my pocket, and he is just looking at me smiling as I am signing to him. A few minutes later... he walked up to his dad, and took off both CI's and started to walk away, dad grabbed his son, and put them back on, this went back and forth for maybe 10 minutes... where the son didn't want the CI's on... dad wanted him to have them on... son wanted to be deaf... dad wanted him to be "hearing". Little boy kept coming up to me, and being super cute, he obviously didn't want his CI's on and his dad obviously wasn't going to let him get around that. It made me sad to see a little kid, so young, without the choice, to use a CI, or not... such a complicated surgery performed on such a young child, not once, but twice... AND depriving this child of sign language.

That's distrubing.

 

[ash345]

And if you would have taken off your shoes, he would have followed suit, and the dad would have had one heck of a time keeping his footwear on.

I think there is way too much meaning being assigned here to the mimic-ry of a 3 year old with a short attention span. It is very likely that at most other times the kid would throw an absolute fit if you tried to take his implants away- like my daughter does, and most of the other kids with CI's that I've met.

The positive things that can be taken from the story include that the kid recognizes when someone communicates with him manually and that he was able to return a little of the same.

I don't think so... I don't think he would have "mimicked" my taking shoes off... his attention span was obviously not short either... because we interacted for almost half an hour... and for a 3 year old... that isn't a short attention span.

Also, may of us on this forum have EXPERIENCED almost exactly what that child is... being raised in an oral only environment, with parents that want to "fix" us, with parents who think "my child is different" (which he was obviously expressing by his 10 db talk)... but what they don't realize, is these children need to know people like them, have accessible language... also... I wasn't "manually" communicating with him... i was signing to him. Personally, I take offence when people talk about manual communication, it brings us back to the 50's when ASL was a last resort and seen as manual communication. IT ISN'T... it is a visual communication process... if you say ASL is a "manual" communication... then so is spoken language, telepathy would be a "non-manual" form of communication...

Please, those of us who have been there, where that little boy is now, are telling it like it is... you really don't know what its like to be Deaf, or even orally deaf, being forced to try and communicate in a way that you can't hear, being told over and over again that people don't understand you, that you are wrong, that you are a broken hearing person, I've been where that little boy is... having something forced on me (HA's in my case, CI in his) that I had no choice upon, that was not natural for me... please don't tell me that what I experienced, what I observed, was nothing more than "mimicry"