Being a Jewish mom at Christmas isn't so bad

jillio

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“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” the song says. And that seems to be true, for most of you out there celebrating Christmas. But what about for the rest of us?

Contrary to what it may seem like this time of year, there are a lot of people out there who don’t "do" Christmas. As a Jewish parent, I have nothing but respect for Christmas, but it’s not my holiday (more on what I believe at the Jewish parenting website Kveller) and I don’t celebrate it. Neither do Muslims, atheists, Hindus, pagans… the list goes on. Even some Christians celebrate the holiday differently from the mainstream’s version of Santa on the roof.


Nice tree, but I'll stick with my hanukkiah, thanks. Jordana Horn is teaching her kids to appreciate other cultures, while coming home to their roots.

So maybe your kids feel left out of the Christmas to-do? It’s understandable. Maybe Santa’s lap looks pretty appealing at the mall (what kid wouldn’t like the idea of an adult whose sole job is to bring you presents?). Maybe an endless stream of cookies and candy canes sparks sugar envy.

Certainly, American culture places Christmas in a position of cultural prominence. You’re hard pressed to turn on a radio in December without hearing Jingle Bells, or to drive a few miles without seeing brightly colored lights or a pine tree tied to the top of a car. So one could see where kids in particular might feel like there’s a big party going on – a party to which they, the non-Christmas-observers, aren’t invited.

You guys do make it look like a heck of a lot of fun.

But I’d argue that you can ooh and ahh at the Rockefeller Center tree without feeling jealous and without forsaking your own ideals. Part of what is so amazing about living in America is living alongside of traditions and cultures other than our own.

As a parent, I try to make this time of year a living laboratory where I can teach my kids a lesson they will need throughout life. Throughout their lives, they will need, as the proverb has it, roots and wings. They will need to stretch their wings and soar, yet never forget where they came from.


In our house, we tell the story of Judah Maccabee, sometimes reenacting it with blocks and Legos. We play fierce competitive dreidel. We sing songs as we light the hanukkiah (the accurate term for what is commonly called a menorah) each night, and talk in simple terms about what they mean in Hebrew and English. The house smells like greasy potato pancakes for days – a traditional Hanukkah food that is basically French fries on steroids. We eat doughnuts (another Hanukkah tradition). We not only observe Hanukkah, but celebrate it – celebrate being who we are. We're not "competing" with Christmas – Christmas is, as we celebrate our own holiday, irrelevant. If you celebrate effectively, there’s no time or inclination to be jealous of what anyone else is doing.

We can also take advantage of the fact that we are not celebrating Christmas by giving back to our communities. We can help out local soup kitchens, hospitals, and other places that depend on volunteers that are understaffed because of the holiday. In doing so, we teach our children that we are part of a larger community and although we don’t celebrate Christmas, we can help others celebrate a holiday that has deep meaning for them. In my community, there are plenty of programs that "match" would-be Christmas Day volunteers so they can do just that.

We should also not get so riled up by the omnipresence of Christmas in America’s December. By driving by all the brightly-lit trees and then coming home to who we are, I believe, we have the chance to teach our children an important lesson: We can appreciate what others do, but always remember and take pride in who we are, too.

That sounds pretty wonderful to me.

TODAYMoms - Being a Jewish mom at Christmas isn't so bad

Multicultural perspective at its finest. What a wonderful woman she is.
 
I'm thinking next year I will make it more of a solstice thing at my own home.

Anyway when i was in mainstream, we had a Jewish librarian who would tell the kids at school about Jewish traditions every year around Christmas.. I was never able to get everything she told me but I found this stuff very interesting.
 
I just thought this woman's perspective was such a healthy, accepting, tolerant one that it should be read by many. She is certainly secure in her beliefs and she demonstrates that in her perspective. There are millions that could learn a valuable lesson from her.
 
And she's not pushing her beliefs on anyone..

No, of course not. She doesn't need to in order to prove that she is right. She is secure in her beliefs. If others want to follow her, fine. If not, she will still continue on in just the way she does now. Those who prosletyse are simply attempting to add credibility through numbers, because they are not as secure in their convictions as they would like to believe. They think the more people they can convince to adopt their belief system, the more they can feel assured that they are right. Nor is she in any way threatened by different belief systems.
 
Exactly. I have no need to convert people to my pov.. Now if people want to discuss it in a civilized manner I will be happy to do so..
 
I think it is totally wonderful!! My biggest problem with Christmas anymore is the over-commercialism of it. The Christians have lost sight of the true meaning of Christmas, whereas the Jewish have never lost sight of their traditions. That, to me, speaks volumes!
 
I think it is totally wonderful!! My biggest problem with Christmas anymore is the over-commercialism of it. The Christians have lost sight of the true meaning of Christmas, whereas the Jewish have never lost sight of their traditions. That, to me, speaks volumes!

I agree, KristinaB. I'm glad you enjoyed reading what she had to say. It really carries a profound message.
 
Yes, she has a good perspective on the holidays. I've known many Jewish families who believe and practice the same way. :)

I also taught my daughter and later, my grandsons, about Hanukkah and the traditions, since they were little.

I like her description of latkes as French fries on steroids. I always think of them as super hash browns. Either way, they're yummy. :giggle:
 
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” the song says. And that seems to be true, for most of you out there celebrating Christmas. But what about for the rest of us?

Contrary to what it may seem like this time of year, there are a lot of people out there who don’t "do" Christmas. As a Jewish parent, I have nothing but respect for Christmas, but it’s not my holiday (more on what I believe at the Jewish parenting website Kveller) and I don’t celebrate it. Neither do Muslims, atheists, Hindus, pagans… the list goes on. Even some Christians celebrate the holiday differently from the mainstream’s version of Santa on the roof.


Nice tree, but I'll stick with my hanukkiah, thanks. Jordana Horn is teaching her kids to appreciate other cultures, while coming home to their roots.

So maybe your kids feel left out of the Christmas to-do? It’s understandable. Maybe Santa’s lap looks pretty appealing at the mall (what kid wouldn’t like the idea of an adult whose sole job is to bring you presents?). Maybe an endless stream of cookies and candy canes sparks sugar envy.

Certainly, American culture places Christmas in a position of cultural prominence. You’re hard pressed to turn on a radio in December without hearing Jingle Bells, or to drive a few miles without seeing brightly colored lights or a pine tree tied to the top of a car. So one could see where kids in particular might feel like there’s a big party going on – a party to which they, the non-Christmas-observers, aren’t invited.

You guys do make it look like a heck of a lot of fun.

But I’d argue that you can ooh and ahh at the Rockefeller Center tree without feeling jealous and without forsaking your own ideals. Part of what is so amazing about living in America is living alongside of traditions and cultures other than our own.

As a parent, I try to make this time of year a living laboratory where I can teach my kids a lesson they will need throughout life. Throughout their lives, they will need, as the proverb has it, roots and wings. They will need to stretch their wings and soar, yet never forget where they came from.


In our house, we tell the story of Judah Maccabee, sometimes reenacting it with blocks and Legos. We play fierce competitive dreidel. We sing songs as we light the hanukkiah (the accurate term for what is commonly called a menorah) each night, and talk in simple terms about what they mean in Hebrew and English. The house smells like greasy potato pancakes for days – a traditional Hanukkah food that is basically French fries on steroids. We eat doughnuts (another Hanukkah tradition). We not only observe Hanukkah, but celebrate it – celebrate being who we are. We're not "competing" with Christmas – Christmas is, as we celebrate our own holiday, irrelevant. If you celebrate effectively, there’s no time or inclination to be jealous of what anyone else is doing.

We can also take advantage of the fact that we are not celebrating Christmas by giving back to our communities. We can help out local soup kitchens, hospitals, and other places that depend on volunteers that are understaffed because of the holiday. In doing so, we teach our children that we are part of a larger community and although we don’t celebrate Christmas, we can help others celebrate a holiday that has deep meaning for them. In my community, there are plenty of programs that "match" would-be Christmas Day volunteers so they can do just that.

We should also not get so riled up by the omnipresence of Christmas in America’s December. By driving by all the brightly-lit trees and then coming home to who we are, I believe, we have the chance to teach our children an important lesson: We can appreciate what others do, but always remember and take pride in who we are, too.

That sounds pretty wonderful to me.

TODAYMoms - Being a Jewish mom at Christmas isn't so bad

Multicultural perspective at its finest. What a wonderful woman she is.

I am Jewish too and I would rather stay home but my daughter's husband celebrate Christmas and my daughter want me to be there too as part of her famliy. When someone say Merry Christmas to me I answer back Happy Hanukkah! I lite some candles for the first night of Hanukkah . I never did before but when my beloved mother was dying Dec. 2008 I told her I was using the menorah she gave and that was the last time I spoke to her. She was too weak to talk anymore and dies on Dec 28 . This is a very hard time of year for me, as my beloved mother dies.
 
I think it is totally wonderful!! My biggest problem with Christmas anymore is the over-commercialism of it. The Christians have lost sight of the true meaning of Christmas, whereas the Jewish have never lost sight of their traditions. That, to me, speaks volumes!

I think it's taking it a bit too far.

As much as I respect Jewish people - and I respect them very much along with all others (Muslim, Christians, Hindu, Buddhists and so on,)

Jewish people being ordinary humans as everyone else,
are as prone to human weaknesses as everybody else, too

so I am sure at least some did lose sight of their traditions
even if you can't see it.

Fuzzy
 
I am Jewish too and I would rather stay home but my daughter's husband celebrate Christmas and my daughter want me to be there too as part of her famliy. When someone say Merry Christmas to me I answer back Happy Hanukkah! I lite some candles for the first night of Hanukkah . I never did before but when my beloved mother was dying Dec. 2008 I told her I was using the menorah she gave and that was the last time I spoke to her. She was too weak to talk anymore and dies on Dec 28 . This is a very hard time of year for me, as my beloved mother dies.

I understand. My mother did not die on a religious holiday, but she did die the night before Mother's Day, so I can relate. I know that it brings you some peace and makes you feel closer to her by lighting the candles in her menorah. I hope you have a lovely first night of Hanukka. ( I usually spell it the Hebrew way with a "C", but too many people who aren't Jewish get confused.:P)
 
I think it's taking it a bit too far.

As much as I respect Jewish people - and I respect them very much along with all others (Muslim, Christians, Hindu, Buddhists and so on,)

Jewish people being ordinary humans as everyone else,
are as prone to human weaknesses as everybody else, too

so I am sure at least some did lose sight of their traditions
even if you can't see it.

Fuzzy

They certainly haven't made Santa Claus a part of their Chanukka celebration, nor a big rabbit a part of their Passover.:cool2: As a whole, their traditions are far more pure and oriented toward the spiritual aspects of their religious holidays.
 
I am Jewish too and I would rather stay home but my daughter's husband celebrate Christmas and my daughter want me to be there too as part of her famliy. When someone say Merry Christmas to me I answer back Happy Hanukkah! I lite some candles for the first night of Hanukkah . I never did before but when my beloved mother was dying Dec. 2008 I told her I was using the menorah she gave and that was the last time I spoke to her. She was too weak to talk anymore and dies on Dec 28 . This is a very hard time of year for me, as my beloved mother dies.

I am so very sorry, Whatdidyousay about your Mom :(

I see how Christmas time is made a sad time now because of the passing of your Mother :(


Perhaps it will make you feel better to know when I tell you my father died, too and it took me well over 5 years to get over my grief.
But once the grief let go, I started to have better, happier memories of our time together.
So, I hope for you too, one day will come when the Christmas will be a time when you think of your Mom not will tears of sadness but with of happiness.
I am sure she would want that for you sweetie.
gentle hugs for you.

Fuzzy
 
I am so very sorry, Whatdidyousay about your Mom :(

I see how Christmas time is made a sad time now because of the passing of your Mother :(


Perhaps it will make you feel better to know when I tell you my father died, too and it took me well over 5 years to get over my grief.
But once the grief let go, I started to have better, happier memories of our time together.
So, I hope for you too, one day will come when the Christmas will be a time when you think of your Mom not will tears of sadness but with of happiness.
I am sure she would want that for you sweetie.
gentle hugs for you.

Fuzzy

She just said that she is Jewish. It is Chanukka that is sad for her, not Christmas.
 
They certainly haven't made Santa Claus a part of their Chanukka celebration, nor a big rabbit a part of their Passover.:cool2: As a whole, their traditions are far more pure and oriented toward the spiritual aspects of their religious holidays.

AMEN!!

I am thankful that even though I am Christian, I made sure to find out about other holidays (Chanukka & Kwanzaa) and found unit studies and lessons for my kids on these holidays. for my home school. Now, they will ask me when the start of Chanukka is and ask if we can light a menorah to help them remember the lessons they learned. I never knew if that was proper, so I just told them we could re-read the lessons instead.
 
I wonder if you can be more disrespectful.
Strike that, I know you can, wonder HOW.

Fuzzy

Sweetie, I know you are incapable of seeing it, but you were the one that was being disrespectful by using Christmas instead if Chanukka. Especially given that she had just stated it in black and white.

I wonder how it is that you can never see past your own nose. You are demonstrating exactly the opposite of the message in the OP.
 
AMEN!!

I am thankful that even though I am Christian, I made sure to find out about other holidays (Chanukka & Kwanzaa) and found unit studies and lessons for my kids on these holidays. for my home school. Now, they will ask me when the start of Chanukka is and ask if we can light a menorah to help them remember the lessons they learned. I never knew if that was proper, so I just told them we could re-read the lessons instead.

I don't that anyone would object to you lighting a menorah with your children, especially since you are focused on the meaning behind the lighting of the candles. I think that would be a very respectful activity for you and your children. You are reinforcing the validity of the Jewish traditions and at the same time, keeping and respecting your own. That is what this thread is all about. I wish more would try to instill that kind of understanding and appreciation in their children. That is exactly why the woman in the OP had an impact when I read her words.
 
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