Being a deaf single mother.

Vorsia

Vorsia

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Well i havnt been able to post much latly was really do the fact, my son is acting out in school , he feels hes not being loved.. what els to do but go to the school all the time im fixing his room up im trying give him the life ...that i know he needs to grown as a child he s going for some test to see if he has autisum , im tying my best but he always seems angry.my duaghter had fever the past three days , asthma! as well ...... been really busy.cant sleep thinking about kids , im so happy my daughter is okay i thought she might lose her hearing.like i did i whent from mild hearing loss, as child to severe to profound loss in one .and profound lost in the other...thanks for reading post alldeaf i love you alldeaf.
 
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Unfortunately, he just has to live through it. I was angry through a lot of my schooling too. There is going to be good times and bad, everyone's experience is different.

If you feel the school is too much for him, consider a change to a special school or program.
 
Every kid will be angry at some point in their life.

I was mad when I was a kid too. I don't remember when, but I was.

Some kids start to question actions when they see it done differently in school.

Different parents show their love differently. Some are more obvious than others. Some are more misunderstood than others.

In this case, he probably heard from another student how that student was loved because he got an Xbox (or she got a new dress).

I remember when I was young, I saw my neighbors going to school with Lunchables for lunch every day. I envied him. I got mad at my mom for not doing the same to me. She finally explained to me that my friend was the only child and that his parents could afford to get him something that costs more money than my lunch and that my mom has 4 kids to make lunch for, not 1. I finally understood and left the topic alone.

Part of it could be envy of how other kids are "loved" that makes him question how he's being loved by you. I'm sure you love him and show your love for him in your own way that he just needs time to realize it on his own.
 
thanks! you all are so right im going be there for him.... the best way i know how.......
 
If there is no father figure in your son's life, maybe check out Big Brothers/Big Sisters? He may benefit from some man time.
 
^^^Not always the same. Boyfriends don't always have a vested interest in their girlfriend's kids, and they might not stick around.

Whether it's boyfriend or Big Brother, your son needs someone interested in him, and he needs someone to set an example of how to be a man.
 
I have a boy friend is around sometimes.
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hey! please make sure it's not the BF who is the source of stress for your child.
You never know. please try and very sneakily pull out information from your son
how he feels about your BF.
For your BF may behave very differently around your son when they are alone, and with you present.


Also, please find out if there is nothing going on in the school that is the source of anger and stress for your son.
we were talking recently about children being bullied, could this be happening to your child? or in your neighborhood?
or does he has some teacher issues?
try to find out. maybe talk to his friends, if possible.

Other than that, keep reassuring him he is everything in your life and that it isn't his fault that his father is absent from his life.
Children usually blame themselves if their parents "don't like them", so they have to be reassured again and again -constantly - that is not true.

But please be careful how do you do that, because the parents also should NOT talk bad about each other to the child, never ever.


last but not least, have you ever considered a therapy for your son and you?

Fuzzy
 
Vorsia said:
I have a boy friend is around sometimes.
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The key word, "sometimes" says a lot about him. He is not reliable nor a good role model for commitment.

I should know..my ex hubby has gone through 3 different live-in girlfriends in the past 10 years like a breeze showing my daughter that being in a committed relationship is not something to be taken seriously which is something I am very upset about right now. It is not somethign I want my 14 year old daughter to learn.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

The sometimes boyfriend is probably part of the problem. Your son probably feels like he has to compete with him for your attention. Get your son counseling now. Don't wait until he's a teen and the consequences are more serious. It would help both of you. Parenting is hard even in the best of circumstances. All parents need help sometimes.
 
Yes, I have to agree with you. No guy can replace child's dad. I learn this hard way and know what is like to be a real dad. Before I had my kids, I thought I know the answers, but not anymore. I bet it applies to all "boyfriends", and no one is going to replace me as my own kids' dad.

My advise is not let boyfriend take over as "dad", otherwise trouble is waiting to happen.

Parenting is not as easy as it looks.
sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

The sometimes boyfriend is probably part of the problem. Your son probably feels like he has to compete with him for your attention. Get your son counseling now. Don't wait until he's a teen and the consequences are more serious. It would help both of you. Parenting is hard even in the best of circumstances. All parents need help sometimes.
Click to expand...
 
You all have some good points well I have been with him for a year in an half, things are going well my son seems to like him alot, my son dose not like to follow, direction from adults in school he finds its very hard to make friends.but I can get him talk to after he calms down ,he also gose to counseling every week to talk about his father we lost him to cancer.im struggle ever day to deal with the loss.soo its not easy but we are doing it we will make it.my boyfriend needs to be here every day but he cant his mother just lost her job..anyway the main point is my sons mental heath right now.if I just be his side he will be fine not one will ever hurt my baby.if I can help it my bf helps with homework everyday almost, just pray I will be on my peas and Qs with my son.
 
Well, from what I know steady everyday routine is very helpful and important,
more than you know.

Same day in day out provides stability and stability offer safety.

Starting in the morning b/f at the same time always, then school,
then some after school activities- have you signed him perhaps some hockey, gym or something? - steady practices which btw help release all this energy out, then home homework and dinner and free time and shower, talk to mom and bedtime.

That calms down, even an adult.


Perhaps if your BF can find the time for your son at the same days always
it would hep a lot.
even if it would mean less than it would be on this one day but who knows when.

Fuzzy
 
Good idealistic way of looking at.
I will take that into account,he needs a good out let...
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

I'm glad that you son is in counseling. Be sure to take care of yourself, too. You can't be there for your kids if you don't take care of yourself.
This is a good place to vent and get virtual support. I'm sorry for your loss.
 
sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

I'm glad that you son is in counseling. Be sure to take care of yourself, too. You can't be there for your kids if you don't take care of yourself.
This is a good place to vent and get virtual support. I'm sorry for your loss.
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you are right sally ..:D
 
How are the things going?
Is your son talking with you, I hope?

Sometimes it is so hard to get the kids talk to you openly...

Fuzzy
 
Yeah he is getting better at talking to me he is a good sweet kid ...he will be fine i guess this is all a part of growing up, i remember when i was growing i always thought no one understood me i told my son,i felt the same way he did .. and think that helped alot.
 
Great news! :)
may it continue this way! fingers crossed :)
thanks for an update!

Fuzzy
 
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