Anyone else have parents that were pessimistic about CI?

P

Phi4Sius

New Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2009
Messages
506
Reaction score
0
Okay so here's my situation.

I talk about CI to my fully hearing parents (one, my stepdad - actually has TOO much hearing...I think he has at least -10 dB natural hearing in both ears) and finally I'm going to have awesome insurance at work and I'm going to be able to start the process have it done at an Advanced Bionics provider clinic MUCH closer to home rather than making a 30 mile trek out to LA for the process/surgery/mappings/etc.

Since I've decided on CI my parents have a very "not-too-thrilled" attitude about it. As in "we don't think you're going to like how ugly it looks - we saw it on somebody on a TV show..." and other ilk of this nature.

Can anyone comment? Did anyone in your family give you flak like this on this issue when you decided? I realize they're just trying to help but they can't see the good and how it will help - only "what if something goes wrong", the cosmetics, and what if you hate it?

How did you get your parents used to the idea if they initially had this attitude?
 
Sounds like you have negative parents but on other hand they are also worried for you. Hope you sort it.

All my parents wanted me is to be happy. So should yours, you are old enough.

"what if something goes wrong" will be said by ANY parents anyway!
 
If their major concern is how it looks, that seems quite shallow IMO. Ask them what is really bothering them.

Did they raise you orally, or do you sign with them?
 
I knew one mother who didnt want her daughter to get a CI because she was afraid someething would go wrong during surgery. Her daughter's health has always been poor.
 
dont listen to your parents, my parents was against CI all my life so when i moved east and being indepedent i went to CI center, got CI and told them how well im doing and now they're not against it and happy for me so.
they even took me out of school provided speech therapy (free!) because they wanted me to be signer not oral at all. I never understood that and that pissed me off but cant dwell on the past and im focusing on listening better and work on confidence to use voice once again
 
TheWriteAlex wrote:
If their major concern is how it looks, that seems quite shallow IMO. Ask them what is really bothering them.

Did they raise you orally, or do you sign with them?
Click to expand...


I've been raised 100% oral. No sign.
 
Phi4Sius said:
Okay so here's my situation.

I talk about CI to my fully hearing parents (one, my stepdad - actually has TOO much hearing...I think he has at least -10 dB natural hearing in both ears)
Click to expand...

Does he have any audiograms? -10db hearing would be near a record if that was the case. I heard that even 0db hearing is unusual, especially for older people.

and finally I'm going to have awesome insurance at work and I'm going to be able to start the process have it done at an Advanced Bionics provider clinic MUCH closer to home rather than making a 30 mile trek out to LA for the process/surgery/mappings/etc.
Click to expand...

Good luck, let us know what insurance says.

Since I've decided on CI my parents have a very "not-too-thrilled" attitude about it. As in "we don't think you're going to like how ugly it looks - we saw it on somebody on a TV show..." and other ilk of this nature.
Click to expand...

My own parents are the same way, but then I agree with most of their views too. Tell your parents that the CI is for your dead ear and that youd like to hear with 2 ears, not 1 ear. I respect your choice for CI, do your parents?

Can anyone comment? Did anyone in your family give you flak like this on this issue when you decided? I realize they're just trying to help but they can't see the good and how it will help - only "what if something goes wrong", the cosmetics, and what if you hate it?
Click to expand...

I asked my dad what if I wanted a CI now or in the near future and he didn't see a point to CI since I can hear some with HAs. im 100% oral by the way and a great lipreader. However dad would support CI if I lost all my residual hearing. It's his belief that CI are for those who can't hear zip with the best HAs. My mom and dad also comment how risky CI surgery is and how many things can go wrong. I personally am worried about the risks myself, including losing all my residual hearing and face paralysis. I read one CI blog of a lady who lost most of her sense of taste and has some numbness on the CI side of her face.

My parents do see the good in CI for those who hear zip with HAs, they aren't against CI. However they know I still hear a decent amount with HAs and that I can understand some of what they say without reading lips. Even my audiologist(who's my 2nd cousin) who knows lots of patients who have CI doesn't recommend I get CI because there's no guarantee ill hear better and that I can never go back to HA in the implanted ear. He did initally recommend CI but after seeing I was understanding some speech without lipreading, he retracted his recommendation. He has reprogrammed my HAs a few times and im hearing even better now.

HAs are great technology, me, my parents and audiologist are a huge fan of HAs and how well they work for most people who still have residual hearing. They of course do nothing for those who are 100% deaf, in that case, a CI would be recommended and is the only option if you want to hear sounds and speech. None of us are anti-ci as we realise that CI has it's place as a last resort when no HA gives any benefit. Hope to chat to you someday, Phi. How's school and work going?
 
@deafdude1 wrote:
I asked my dad what if I wanted a CI now or in the near future and he didn't see a point to CI since I can hear some with HAs. im 100% oral by the way and a great lipreader. However dad would support CI if I lost all my residual hearing. It's his belief that CI are for those who can't hear zip with the best HAs. My mom and dad also comment how risky CI surgery is and how many things can go wrong. I personally am worried about the risks myself, including losing all my residual hearing and face paralysis. I read one CI blog of a lady who lost most of her sense of taste and has some numbness on the CI side of her face.
Click to expand...

Well, for me, I really have nothing to lose in my left ear. I've seen reports of the effects on taste and some numbness - but these are mostly symptoms that arise from surgery and tends to go away after a couple days. Was she saying that she had had permanent loss of taste + numbness or did it come back after a few days? Do you have the link? I'd be interested in reading her blog as well - I'm interested in having as much information as possible going into surgery so I know what to expect once that time comes. I've also seen reports of people hearing clearly and normally after having a dead ear implanted and re-habilitating it for some time. As it is - from what I've researched everyone's different and you get out of it what you put into it, barring unforeseen limitations of your hearing anatomy.

@deafdude1 wrote:
My parents do see the good in CI for those who hear zip with HAs, they aren't against CI. However they know I still hear a decent amount with HAs and that I can understand some of what they say without reading lips. Even my audiologist(who's my 2nd cousin) who knows lots of patients who have CI doesn't recommend I get CI because there's no guarantee ill hear better and that I can never go back to HA in the implanted ear. He did initally recommend CI but after seeing I was understanding some speech without lipreading, he retracted his recommendation. He has reprogrammed my HAs a few times and im hearing even better now.
Click to expand...

That's true - if you had a dead ear that had no benefit from HAs, then you would probably want to consider CI. I agree on that point, though - if I had any hearing at all that could be aided by an HA in my left ear, then I would certainly go that route. But, as it is, that's never going to happen.

@deafdude1 wrote:
HAs are great technology, me, my parents and audiologist are a huge fan of HAs and how well they work for most people who still have residual hearing. They of course do nothing for those who are 100% deaf, in that case, a CI would be recommended and is the only option if you want to hear sounds and speech. None of us are anti-ci as we realise that CI has it's place as a last resort when no HA gives any benefit. Hope to chat to you someday, Phi. How's school and work going?
Click to expand...

I wholeheartedly agree with Hearing Aids and if there is enough residual hearing to provide a working benefit for someone that has such profound losses, I would say go for it in a heartbeat and find the best HA. As you know, I've tried the best, most powerful HAs on the market first for my left ear and all I got was a tactile response.

School and work are going awesome. BTW- awesome news! As of today I have officially completed my college certificate in web design! Whoo-hoo!! Now I just need to work on the Associate degree requirements.

I'll be able to be back on AIM on a more consistent basis after a few days - can't have distractions like that when getting my college work completed. I'll let you know. :)

:wave: :wave:
 
I agree with Overthepond and Skullchick's posts. My parents are optimistic for me to have CI. Because they believe in CI is improve for deaf adult and children to hear a sound. The hearing aids are not help me and other kids to hear better.

I think your parent need to research over the CI at internet. They need to be support your decide. This is your body and decide not parent.
 
I agree with Pinky, you're an adult and it's your decision. Do you mind me asking, how old are you and do you still live at home? I ask because I'm 24 and due to being poor I still live with my parents. Because they see me every day and know me quite well they have an idea of what sort of things I would like, how I would react in certain situations.

I find it interesting that they only comment on the looks- surely, function is better than fashion? Plus, can't you get covers and things, in different colours? I don't know much about CI, and I don't have one, but it seems to me that the 'downside' of having something attached to your head constantly comes with the upside of greatly improved hearing. Maybe you should find some leaflets about CI in general and give them to your parents.

Plus the thought of surgery seems daunting, to me- I've never had surgery- but if you're a healthy person and are going to a reputable hospital I don't see what there is to worry about.

Phi4Sius- it's your hearing, and if it helps you hear better than with your aids, and that's something you want, then I say go for it, research, be informed. It's one thing to wait for a better HA, but how long is a piece of string?
 
Thank you. Sure you can asking me anything. I am 28 years old now. I live with my husband. I don't live with my mom now. Do you have job?

I like to show off my CI color is pink. I have black and pink with two sound processor. The black is hard to see because I has dark brown hair. My parent wanted me to get CI when I was kid. But I was afraid of surgery. I wasn't understand about CI's surgery. I lost my dad when I was 15. My ex doctor suggested me to get CI because of my hearing loss worse. I wasn't ready for CI. I wanted to wait for technology get improve.

I am confidence to get CI surgery because I joined to AllDeaf last year ago. I asked the CI user bunch the questions. I made good decide to get one for now. I got implanted surgery last June 12 on my mom's birthday. What a birthday gift for me to hear for her birthday! Is that cool? Hehe

I got it where you are coming from in UK. DeafLissa and Overthepond are from UK too. You might can meet them because they have cochlear implant. You feel free to ask them the question. I am from USA. :)


melissa said:
I agree with Pinky, you're an adult and it's your decision. Do you mind me asking, how old are you and do you still live at home? I ask because I'm 24 and due to being poor I still live with my parents. Because they see me every day and know me quite well they have an idea of what sort of things I would like, how I would react in certain situations.

I find it interesting that they only comment on the looks- surely, function is better than fashion? Plus, can't you get covers and things, in different colours? I don't know much about CI, and I don't have one, but it seems to me that the 'downside' of having something attached to your head constantly comes with the upside of greatly improved hearing. Maybe you should find some leaflets about CI in general and give them to your parents.

Plus the thought of surgery seems daunting, to me- I've never had surgery- but if you're a healthy person and are going to a reputable hospital I don't see what there is to worry about.

Phi4Sius- it's your hearing, and if it helps you hear better than with your aids, and that's something you want, then I say go for it, research, be informed. It's one thing to wait for a better HA, but how long is a piece of string?
Click to expand...
 
Hi Pinky, I was asking Phi4Sius if he lives at home but it's nice to talk to you! I don't have a job at the moment, but I'm on a course to get more confidence so I can eventually work. I read somewhere on AD that you make jewellery? I love making jewellery :) I'd like to sell it but I haven't made enough, and I'm scared of dealing with customers...(too shy).

Aww, that's a lovely present for your mom! I'm sorry about your dad. That's true, you can always wait for technology to get better- you could be waiting forever. If my hearing loss got worse and could not be helped by my hearing aids, I would definitely consider CI, and learn sign language. My hearing has been the same for most of my life, so I don't think I'll be a candidate for CI anytime soon.

I like the idea of pink covers- I have pink hair at the moment. My hearings aids are dark brown, I used to have red hair but now it's pink.
 
Hi Melissa,

Nice to meet you! :wave:

I'm 29 and live at home but that's because I made some dumb decisions and got into some consumer debt (most are aware of how that goes I'm sure) so I'm paying it off but then I'm moving out again once that's finally done (within less than a month I'm free- yay!).

I showed them those clips on the House Ear Institute web site and at UCI and they're definitely against it after that. But, my audie was saying good things about AB and is a fan of them so that kind of put a bit of weight into my decision. The clips on the AB site also provided them some good info too. I haven't heard much from them about being against it since I showed them those clips and further research on how much of a benefit CI can be.

It's not just the looks but the whole idea they don't like- surgery, looks, having something stuck to my head, and that it may not work as well as my right ear and interfere with it. I don't share the same opinions or pessimism - they're hearing and have had their hearing for their whole lives. Well, for my whole life, my left ear's been dead and my right has only heard up to 4000 Hz or so.

If a CI can awaken my dead left ear and after some time be able to hear greater than 4000 Hz and give me bi-lateral hearing (something I've never had since I was 4 years old or so), then I will consider it a success. I'm aware of the effort and training required and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make it work for me.

:) :cool2: :cool2: :D
 
Last edited:
melissa said:
Hi Pinky, I was asking Phi4Sius if he lives at home but it's nice to talk to you! I don't have a job at the moment, but I'm on a course to get more confidence so I can eventually work. I read somewhere on AD that you make jewellery? I love making jewellery :) I'd like to sell it but I haven't made enough, and I'm scared of dealing with customers...(too shy).

Aww, that's a lovely present for your mom! I'm sorry about your dad. That's true, you can always wait for technology to get better- you could be waiting forever. If my hearing loss got worse and could not be helped by my hearing aids, I would definitely consider CI, and learn sign language. My hearing has been the same for most of my life, so I don't think I'll be a candidate for CI anytime soon.

I like the idea of pink covers- I have pink hair at the moment. My hearings aids are dark brown, I used to have red hair but now it's pink.
Click to expand...

Oops! I thought you talked to me. LoL Let me PM you about Jewelry. Please excuse :topic:
 
Phi4Sius said:
Hi Melissa,

Nice to meet you! :wave:
Nice to meet you too!

I'm 29 and live at home but that's because I made some dumb decisions and got into some consumer debt (most are aware of how that goes I'm sure) so I'm paying it off but then I'm moving out again once that's finally done (within less than a month I'm free- yay!).
It happens, I'm not in a position financially to move out. Glad you'll have it paid off soon! I asked because I think living at home encourages parents to be more 'in your business', if you know what I mean!

I showed them those clips on the House Ear Institute web site and at UCI and they're definitely against it after that. But, my audie was saying good things about AB and is a fan of them so that kind of put a bit of weight into my decision. The clips on the AB site also provided them some good info too. I haven't heard much from them about being against it since I showed them those clips and further research on how much of a benefit CI can be.
I don't know much about CI but it sounds like you've done your research, which is definitely a good thing!

It's not just the looks but the whole idea they don't like- surgery, looks, having something stuck to my head, and that it may not work as well as my right ear and interfere with it. I don't share the same opinions or pessimism - they're hearing and have had their hearing for their whole lives. Well, for my whole life, my left ear's been dead and my right has only heard up to 4000 Hz or so.
I suppose every parent worries about surgery, no matter how old the child is. Is it possible it would interfere with your right ear, medically speaking?

If a CI can awaken my dead left ear and after some time be able to hear greater than 4000 Hz and give me bi-lateral hearing (something I've never had since I was 4 years old or so), then I will consider it a success. I'm aware of the effort and training required and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to make it work for me.
Yes, as I've read it takes a lot of work but you seem very prepared and realistic. As you say, your parents have always heard with no problems. You say your left ear is 'dead', so any sound you can hear with CI is an improvement, with regards to bi-lateral hearing..

Personally, the thought of an operation would scare me, but I'd put my faith in the surgeons. Stuff on your head is your business really, it's serving a purpose, and I don't know much about the chances of whether it may work or not work, but I can give advice as a person who is frequently in conflict with her parents!
Click to expand...
 
Back
Top