MelissaWatt
Active Member
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2014
- Messages
- 371
- Reaction score
- 32
I just need a place to vent. I spent 44 yrs of my 46 years on this earth living in analog hearing aids. Everything was just fine until this summer until Virginia humidity played its game on my hearing aids. I thought they were in need of a repair. I showed up at my audiologist who I have known for 14 yrs only to find that he was no longer there and no one knew where he went. I came home in tears and spent time researching in hopes to find him. He always knew where to find what I needed. I went back to have an audiogram done and the new audiologist who replaced him sat me down, put in a pair and said " how does it sound" and "here is how much they are". i walked out in tears with the sticker shock and just dumbfounded. I think that is the panic mode that set in. My husband was in the service and that always covered it and knew that someday we would have to buy me a pair. Anyway, I did find him and end up going back the the facility where I first met him per his recommendation. At the recommended facility the new audiologist gave me the "bad news" that my aids were out dated and I needed to move to digitals. The day I came home in them, I was in tears and literally sitting in bath water crying. My family and friends had no idea just how much this was going to affect me. I went in ver several visits and tweaks, I was told I was doing well on adjusting, little did she know i was not doing well. The noises were different, I couldn't hear worth jack. She was trying to adjust according to the quick audiogram that was done in the first place. I kept telling her that I didn't care if the one ear didn't work like it should. She kept trying to match them both up. I told her simple is all that I needed. I didn't need a battery reminder, a ten second beep delay for this to start up, the t coil never would stop switching on me in the program when I answered the phone/cell. The music was awful. I quit listening to the one thing that made my day. I kept researching on line to find me something that will work. mean while all of this is going on. My body decided to not like food, I cried over everything, started waking up all hours and then in the mornings.. panic attacks to throwing up.This lead up to me calling my doctor pleading for help.
I finally returned the digitals and then walked into a place that made custom hearing aids that was recommended by a friend via friend. Another risk. I also sent of one pair of my analogs that I have had as a back up/ back up for a repair through my childhood audiologist. They work but they look sad front he clean up and repair. I brought in my other pairs that I had to the custom place. He said.. one is good the other two are dead. I still have one pair working, a back up and two more pairs that need to be sent off.
mean while, I finally saw my doctor, wearing the custom pair and strongly want to put in my old analogs. I am now on meds to control the anxiety, walking around like a zombie, pushed my family away from all the crying. All I want to do is live and die in these analogs, why????
I spent my life being told to be strong, you can do anything, and accepted as a normal part of my life.
why am I venting… because after my session today. I came to realize that I never accepted that I had a hearing loss, never needed to until the switch was going to be made. I now feel less empowered and have no clue if I really am hearing the way it was before and can be happy again. My doctor is now sending me off to a cognitive behavioral therapist.
I want my life back. simplicity at its best.. Simple worked best for me. I didn't care about if I was missing to much because I taught myself to figure it out, I never needed to rely on anything. Now I feel lost and completely stupid that I am mourning the loss of what was my life.
I finally returned the digitals and then walked into a place that made custom hearing aids that was recommended by a friend via friend. Another risk. I also sent of one pair of my analogs that I have had as a back up/ back up for a repair through my childhood audiologist. They work but they look sad front he clean up and repair. I brought in my other pairs that I had to the custom place. He said.. one is good the other two are dead. I still have one pair working, a back up and two more pairs that need to be sent off.
mean while, I finally saw my doctor, wearing the custom pair and strongly want to put in my old analogs. I am now on meds to control the anxiety, walking around like a zombie, pushed my family away from all the crying. All I want to do is live and die in these analogs, why????
I spent my life being told to be strong, you can do anything, and accepted as a normal part of my life.
why am I venting… because after my session today. I came to realize that I never accepted that I had a hearing loss, never needed to until the switch was going to be made. I now feel less empowered and have no clue if I really am hearing the way it was before and can be happy again. My doctor is now sending me off to a cognitive behavioral therapist.
I want my life back. simplicity at its best.. Simple worked best for me. I didn't care about if I was missing to much because I taught myself to figure it out, I never needed to rely on anything. Now I feel lost and completely stupid that I am mourning the loss of what was my life.