Am i being overly sensitive?

[Maggiesmom]

Ok so here's an update , I've sent out our flyers to audiologist, otolaryngologist and our local school for the deaf which is two cities over from me, also you are all right , it's not like babies really communicate that much anyway , I guess at this point I'll just keep my irritating opinions of the ASL interpreter and the other speech therapist mom to my self lol. Thanks for giving me good ideas everyone

 

[Rom]

So I started a playgroup for Maggie because I got so sick of people looking at us funny when we sign or acting like we were we contagious. Ive shared that in other posts ...anyway I've made flyers and a Facebook page, linked it to our Instagram, and given out flyers to our advisor with the sc school for the deaf and blind, our audiologist and otolaryngologist....anyway I've put a ton of work into this . I've only had one mom show up, we've had 3 meetings and she's came to 2. She has two adopted children , one has sensory hearing loss and the other child has speech apraxia..this mother is also a certified speech pathologist, she does not use ASL and thinks oral is the best way to go. So that's problem one ....

Problem 2: I've got a lady who has two teenagers and is a nanny to a 2 year old and a 13 year old , she's a Montessori teacher , a ASL interpreter and will be teaching ASL classes to kids this fall (supposedly this is just what she sent me in a msg)in the msg she said the follow " if you've got any questions feel free to contact me , if you want to bounce ideas off each other ." Well it rubbed me the wrong way, her kids nor her nanny kids are deaf or HOH, the only tie you've got here is just the ASL thing , which is great but this is my brainchild and I've put a ton of work into this for my child so she can make other friends who are deaf or HOH and that also sign , I don't need some random lady who signs showing up. Maybe I am being a turd but I felt like shes a frog jumping on my lily pad ....so I sent her a msg back, after she kept messaging me asking me if I had gotten her first msg, I said if any of your kids have hearing loss please feel free to join us. And I also told her my husband is a CODA so we are thankful to have his experience at home (i was trying to in a nice way tell her I don't want her trying to teach me or whatever)

Am I wrong in thinking this random ASL lady is werid and slightly creepy ? Was I mean to say only come if you've got kids with hearing loss ...and the first problem , i seriously can't stand this mom. She's a speech pathologist and her husbands a cardiologist, she's super snarky and the whole point of the group was so Maggie could make friends . If you don't want to sign with your 1 and 2 1/2 year old then what's the point of coming to my group ? If youre so against ASL , heck your kids could join any play group right ?

I guess I am just wondering if I am being hard to deal with. I hope you guys don't think I am being a jerk but why would I want some mom who hates ASL come and why would i want some lady come just because she knows ASL , it's a group for BABIES and TODDLERS!i uploaded her msg and my reply for you all to take a look at ,thank you all
Maggie's mom

I would be one to say that she wants to "advertise" her services so to speak. If I were you, I would allow her and her children in to see Deaf children interact with other Deaf children first hand. I have found that often times professionals have never ever ever seen hard of hearing or Deaf people interact with eachother, and they aren't too sure how to take it. Frankly I'd rather have an informed professional. Also keep in mind that she is a teacher. Her mentality is to teach, and even when she can be sitting back and letting you take control, the teacher instinct will still be there.

Obviously you can pick and choose who you wish to have involved, but please remember that if you come off as unwelcoming, that information will get passed around faster than wildfire. You're better off to let people in, and the people who find it's not what they want, will leave on their own volition.


Good luck! I applaud you for being such an advocate for Maggie

 

[Beowulf]

Hmmm. You ARE hard to deal with, but hey, you are advocating, right? I see no problem there. It is just that there needs to be a meeting of the minds concerning the event. I have the feeling you have made progress towards this. Just relax with the knowledge you have the hardest job in the world.
Hang in there.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I think you're sending your child the wrong message about being hoh and using ASL ! If she see you being uptight about people looking at you while using ASL your child
could end feeling the same way when she get older. Why worry about how other people think about the way you to communicate with child ? Let your child know there is
nothing wrong with being hoh and using ASL in public , teach her to be self confidence and not embarrass !

 

[Maggiesmom]

I think you're sending your child the wrong message about being hoh and using ASL ! If she see you being uptight about people looking at you while using ASL your child
could end feeling the same way when she get older. Why worry about how other people think about the way you to communicate with child ? Let your child know there is
nothing wrong with being hoh and using ASL in public , teach her to be self confidence and not embarrass !

I don't think I am being up tight. But there are no kids in our area she can sign with which is why I started this group for her , I don't want her to ever feel embarrassed but I would like her to make some friends who communicate the same way she does , thank you for your advice

 

[Maggiesmom]

Hmmm. You ARE hard to deal with, but hey, you are advocating, right? I see no problem there. It is just that there needs to be a meeting of the minds concerning the event. I have the feeling you have made progress towards this. Just relax with the knowledge you have the hardest job in the world.
Hang in there.

You are right , I know I can be a giant ass , and you are also right , maybe I should just say hey I want other babies who sign to play with my baby who signs...and no random interpreters lol, but seriously thank you for your advice , my husband the coda , he thinks i am nuts, nothing ever bothers him, I wish I could be that laid back

 

[Maggiesmom]

I would be one to say that she wants to "advertise" her services so to speak. If I were you, I would allow her and her children in to see Deaf children interact with other Deaf children first hand. I have found that often times professionals have never ever ever seen hard of hearing or Deaf people interact with eachother, and they aren't too sure how to take it. Frankly I'd rather have an informed professional. Also keep in mind that she is a teacher. Her mentality is to teach, and even when she can be sitting back and letting you take control, the teacher instinct will still be there.

Obviously you can pick and choose who you wish to have involved, but please remember that if you come off as unwelcoming, that information will get passed around faster than wildfire. You're better off to let people in, and the people who find it's not what they want, will leave on their own volition.


Good luck! I applaud you for being such an advocate for Maggie

Thank you for taking the time to send me your advice , you are 100% right the very second I am not nice or welcoming the word will definitely get around and then no one will come, I agree , maybe she'll she how the children play and maybe learn herself , who knows , and I guess i need to learn to keep my mouth shut , fingers/hands down and let her see for herself.

 

[Tetracyclone]

As you suspect, yo have become a wee bit sensitive about all this. And for good reason- you worked very hard to set something up that is not taking off. Now, if the "market" for your idea is not there right now, then it's not, which is in no way your fault.

I've noticed on this forum there are as many people eager to use sign language as there are actual deaf people. If I were moderating I would shunt those threads off to their own corner. It just gets tiresome. So the lady who is an interpreter seems not to be getting enough work to keep her busy. You can gently tell her or this other mom who does not sign that you appreciate their interest but want this play group for deaf toddlers to get up momentum before others interested parties might find useful roles. This other mom who is against signing? Unless you like her for herself, show her the door. If you did like her you could talk mom stuff together and let the children interact. No doubt her child would be happy to learn signs from your daughter.

I do understand your frustrations but the root cause may be there are not enough deaf toddlers nearby to make it work. no way to fix that one, so don't blame the wannabees nor the 'hearing world advocate' for what they are not. I assume you have checked with regional doctors or audiologists to ask for referrals?

If not now, your family will eventually find kindred spirits to play with and learn with. You married your guy in part because he was so relaxed, right? Enjoy your life as it is. You can be very confident that your daughter will grown up relaxed and confident... like her dad!!! Sorry- both marriage and motherhood are so hilariously frustrating, wonderful, and overwhelming I felt i owed you my attempt at a laugh.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I don't think I am being up tight. But there are no kids in our area she can sign with which is why I started this group for her , I don't want her to ever feel embarrassed but I would like her to make some friends who communicate the same way she does , thank you for your advice

Are there any audi offices near you that you could see if they will let post about your group? I think it's great you are trying to start a group so your child has other kids to sign with. There has to other hoh or deaf children in your city or town. Do you live in a small town ?

 

[Mieke]

Well Maggiesmom, I'd suspect the interpreter to maybe have thought the 2 year old kid she is a nanny for some sign.
Toddlers, dont need a lot to play together in my experience.

And for the audiologist mom, maybe she'll turn around, actually seeing a child thrive on ASL, either way, Maggie will run into those kids later on as well. It's play dates for toddlers, from my experience honestly, language does not matter at that point.

Mine have been playing with kids speaking other languages, and getting along just fine. I think you also want Maggie to know, she can connect with hearing/ orally raised kids.

On the other hand, in your Deaf community, there are no other parents with toddlers? or they just dont come to socials often?

 

[Beowulf]

You are right , I know I can be a giant ass , and you are also right , maybe I should just say hey I want other babies who sign to play with my baby who signs...and no random interpreters lol, but seriously thank you for your advice , my husband the coda , he thinks i am nuts, nothing ever bothers him, I wish I could be that laid back

I am not that laid back when the situation warrants. You see, I helped a deaf couple raise their hearing daughter for two years. They both worked overtime. At the end of it, they freaked she considered me a father. She could sign and complete sentences while looking at a magazine such as "Oh, my goodness, that dog will bite me for sure!" If she were in a playgroup, she would go and sign that to them. (Well, I dunno, it hasn't happened. Lol) I guess the point I am trying to make is that deaf is deaf, it will show.
Sorry for rambling.
And oh yeah, I lost her.

 

[sonocativo]

I think you're sending your child the wrong message about being hoh and using ASL ! If she see you being uptight about people looking at you while using ASL your child
could end feeling the same way when she get older. Why worry about how other people think about the way you to communicate with child ? Let your child know there is
nothing wrong with being hoh and using ASL in public , teach her to be self confidence and not embarrass !

Take public breastfeeding as an example....hmmmm

 

[Tetracyclone]

I am not that laid back when the situation warrants. You see, I helped a deaf couple raise their hearing daughter for two years. They both worked overtime. At the end of it, they freaked she considered me a father. She could sign and complete sentences while looking at a magazine such as "Oh, my goodness, that dog will bite me for sure!" If she were in a playgroup, she would go and sign that to them. (Well, I dunno, it hasn't happened. Lol) I guess the point I am trying to make is that deaf is deaf, it will show.
Sorry for rambling.
And oh yeah, I lost her.

I'm sorry for your loss. Had to hurt a lot.