A question to those who have CI....

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Buffalo

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I want to know if your having CI make the hearing people accept you as their equal. Be honest!
I wear hearing aids in both ears and went to the oral school until high school. I don't see them accept me as their equal eventhough I could talk. I refuse to consider CI because I really believe that the hearing people still won't accept me as their equal so why bother spending money on something that won't get me what I want.
 
I read this question about 5 times. Honestly I don't care if anyone accepts me as there equal. I'm me! There will always be people who do not accept anyone or find a reason not to accept you. I got CI because I wanted to enjoy my daughter sing, music playing, and keep working as a special education teacher. I also have great friends and family who accept me and that is all that matters.

I'm under no illusion that I am better than "hearing" or "deaf" people. I'm bionic and worth alot of money :) Most importantly I'm happy!
 
I didn't get my CI so I could compare myself to the hearing. More fool they who do that! I got my CI so I could hear better!!! For a certainty, my CI provided me with hearing that I never thought possible. There is no comparison between what a CI gives and what my HA used to give me. Everyday vindicates my decision and I'm very, very happy with my CI.

Now to answer your question, I'm very respected by my hearing peers simply because in how well I do carry myself hearingwise. I give no pretense that I'm just like them but rather they know I function quite well with my CI as if I were hearing. Nobody is fooling anybody. As a result, I have achieved that "equality" you speak of. Basically, I have earned it and thus I move in the hearing world pretty much on their terms.

I must say this doesn't always or even mostly apply to every individual who has a CI. Everybody is different in the benefits they get from their CI. Doing well in the hearing world really depends on how well one does on their terms. Those who are late deafened or started using a CI when very young are the best at it and then there are those like myself who are HOH lifers that happen to be good at it.

What if one isn't one of these more successful types? I say don't worry about all this stuff and simply be the best you can be in whatever circumstances one finds oneself. Only get a CI if you think you can benefit from it. If not, move on with your life and don't worry about it. Life too short to get a tizzy about what the hearing think. They got enough problems of their own.
 
No job discrimination because you look strange with CI??? I would think there would be a job discrimination. Suppose you are single or a parent with dependents...it is not okay for anybody to turn you down because of your deafness. Suppose they still do that in spite of you using CI. I kind of suspect that they would turn down a person with CI.
 
Buffalo said:
No job discrimination because you look strange with CI??? I would think there would be a job discrimination. Suppose you are single or a parent with dependents...it is not okay for anybody to turn you down because of your deafness. Suppose they still do that in spite of you using CI. I kind of suspect that they would turn down a person with CI.
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Er...are you talking to me? If you are, I need to inform you that I never have been discriminated against for wearing either a HA or now a CI. They just don't care because I get the job done. Plus the fact that I do well with my hearing such as it is...is an added bonus to them. To further clarify, I'm in IT and I have been a programmer analyst for many years (some 18+ years).

As far as looking "odd" with a CI is not a concern to me nor to the others once they get used to it especially as I can hear them well enough. If how you look with a CI bothers you, you need to look in the mirror and fix the problem! What I'm trying to say is don't worry about how you look but worry how you interact with the world! It is all about relationships and how you relate to others...pure and simple.
 
I didn't talk about me looking funny. I am talking about other people's opinions. I am talking about people who judged others on how they look. I know they are out there. All I want to know if CI does automatically make other people accept you as equal. I seriously doubt it because I have been discriminated against in the IT business eventhough I wear hearing aids.
 
Sr117soars said it best.

And I'd like to add - I've never been discriminated against or judged because of how my CI looks, and I wear my hair in a pixie cut, so the CI is VERY visible! CI's aren't a tool to enable one to be "accepted as an equal" - your personality, intelligence, communication, etc should be what you are judged upon. At least that's my experience.
 
I don't get it. There will always be people that don't accept others due to having a CI, having tattoos, having a certain skin color or just a certain "look" or socio-economic status. The clothes you wear, your accent, your zip code all "matter" to some outsiders. There is discrimination due to some or all of these factors from time to time, whether we notice or not.

In my opinion, a CI is much more visible and will gather more stares than a regular hearing aid. I can't imagine that as a reason not to get a CI if all indications are that the hearing aids are not working well for you.

The key is how you handle yourself. Once these people get to know you, do they then see that you are a good person or not? If they get to know you, you are a good person and they still don't accept you, then my opinion is that you give them a big mental middle finger and associate with reasonable persons.

If you're looking for a CI to gain you acceptance with others, I think your thoughts are misplaced. A CI may be able to help your hearing which could allow you to communicate with others better, but that's all. If you don't think being able to hear and converse easier will help you gain acceptance with these people, then it sounds like you don't want a CI.
 
Buffalo said:
I want to know if your having CI make the hearing people accept you as their equal. Be honest!
I wear hearing aids in both ears and went to the oral school until high school. I don't see them accept me as their equal eventhough I could talk. I refuse to consider CI because I really believe that the hearing people still won't accept me as their equal so why bother spending money on something that won't get me what I want.
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A CI most likely will not make you "equal" to a hearing person and maybe not even close, if you are deaf regaining natural hearing is not in near sight. A Ci is a tool to let your hear sounds you can not hear now. I have a CI you don't am I better than equal to you now, I don't think I am doing well with the CI, but did it to hear my wife, kids , grandkids.

Bottom line I did it for me and my loved ones, equal was never a thought, better was.
 
Drew's Dad said:
If you're looking for a CI to gain you acceptance with others, I think your thoughts are misplaced. A CI may be able to help your hearing which could allow you to communicate with others better, but that's all. If you don't think being able to hear and converse easier will help you gain acceptance with these people, then it sounds like you don't want a CI.
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I am not looking to fit in the hearing society since I consider myself Deaf with a capital 'D'. I totally accept myself but do other people accept me? I went thru bad job experience so I am looking for ways to lessen the discrimination. I am single and must support myself. All I want is to be equal with others - with or without CI. Maybe I should be self-employed (I am doing homework on this).
 
Buffalo said:
I didn't talk about me looking funny. I am talking about other people's opinions. I am talking about people who judged others on how they look. I know they are out there. All I want to know if CI does automatically make other people accept you as equal. I seriously doubt it because I have been discriminated against in the IT business eventhough I wear hearing aids.
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Some have already made some good comments about other "opinions". Without belaboring the point, I want to point out that there are always those who judge others based on "differences" that they can't handle or deal with. Don't worry about them as that isn't your problem even if it impacts you some. That is life and life isn't fair...just the way it is. Worry more about how you come across and your ability to adapt to situations to help others meet you halfway. People will try to meet you halfway and work with you for the most part. Works for me and I seen it work for many others in all kinds of walks in life.

Hate to say this but I'm always wary of those who push the "discrimination" hot button as if it were the only reason why they can't succeed in life. There is always more to it than that...it is always a two way street.
 
Buffalo, I was mainstreamed all through my school years right up to college. I don't know anyone personally that is deaf. Everyone I interact with is hearing. I spent years trying to hide the fact that I was deaf and I guess you could say I roamed among the hearing fooling them because I spoke very well. My ultimatum was to blend in with society, not to be accepted as their equal. I never thought of the notion of someone who has perfect hearing being superior to me. I was never once discriminated because they could see the hearing aids. I have my own business on the side in the IT field in addition to my career and my clients continue to call me because what I do, I do very well. Just like sr171soars, my hearing peers look at me as a stronger person for doing everything that I do with ease and grace with not being able to hear. You don't know how many time I have been told, "I don't know how you do it."

The primary reason why I chose to get a CI was to help ME hear better. It wasn't a case of whether the hearing were going to accept me, it was a case of how much better could I function in *MY* world, not the hearing or the deaf world. Perhaps you should ask some judgmental people what they think about people with CI's or Hearing Aids to get the answer that you are looking for.
 
I was also mainstreamed throughout school. I went to college using a FM system. I also did like Contradica, I just blending in. I also speak well. I felt I had to work ten times as hard as the next person. I also surrounded myself with people who accepted me. I am a loyal friend and surround myself with loyal people.

I did CI for my life as well. My goal was to be able to understand and talk to my 8 year old. The rest is just gravy.

I sat in my doctor's office the day before activation and he told me that the next day I would hear more than 20 years ago. My friend, Vanessa(we teach together), was crying. She said I don't care how much you can hear or not hear, just as long as I did not change. And I haven't - I just hear better :)

Oh- the speech teacher at school said that within a day of activation, I started to self correct the endings of my words. She said 3 weeks later - she can't tell I am hoh.
 
Buffalo said:
I didn't talk about me looking funny. I am talking about other people's opinions. I am talking about people who judged others on how they look. I know they are out there. All I want to know if CI does automatically make other people accept you as equal. I seriously doubt it because I have been discriminated against in the IT business eventhough I wear hearing aids.
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If you are talking about the same people that discriminated against you then you're right, nothing will change because a prejudiced person remains prejudiced. However, nothing changed either with people who accepted me before the CI. So the answer comes down to not to the CI but the chracteristics of people themselves. A lot of it comes down to finding a good group of people who are open minded and willing to give you a go.

I found that breaking into an industry was initially hard, but once I did so and built up a reputation for being good at what I did, I managed to find work by networking with those who were familiar with my work.

I do have to say though that on a personal level, the CI has enabled me to use the phone more easily, which has been a help in my field of work. However with internet relay, a deaf person can still get by if they have the motivation and desire to succeed.
 
I know what you mean, but believe me, you have alot of anxiety about perceptions that are really not what you think they are. Its not based on how a CI will look on you (Only a sorry low percentage of the population believe in looks ONLY, so good chance these types are not in your life), it is based on your personality and behavior. If you believe a CI will make you feel worthless, of course society will pick up on that from your behavior and see you as such. If you will just live life and demonstrate a good sense of a CI benefitting you, no one will ever notice you've got a CI on and instead will notice you for who you are. I'm a bassist for a local group, and I always have a blast regardless who I'm with, it just boils down to how you carry yourself.
 
vallee said:
I was also mainstreamed throughout school. I went to college using a FM system. I also did like Contradica, I just blending in. I also speak well. I felt I had to work ten times as hard as the next person. I also surrounded myself with people who accepted me. I am a loyal friend and surround myself with loyal people.

I did CI for my life as well. My goal was to be able to understand and talk to my 8 year old. The rest is just gravy.

I sat in my doctor's office the day before activation and he told me that the next day I would hear more than 20 years ago. My friend, Vanessa(we teach together), was crying. She said I don't care how much you can hear or not hear, just as long as I did not change. And I haven't - I just hear better :)

Oh- the speech teacher at school said that within a day of activation, I started to self correct the endings of my words. She said 3 weeks later - she can't tell I am hoh.
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Keep in mind, vallee, that you are postligually deafened, and judge your functioning based onthe hearing standards that you have always been exposed to.
 
jillio said:
Keep in mind, vallee, that you are postligually deafened, and judge your functioning based onthe hearing standards that you have always been exposed to.
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Keep in mind Jillio, the topic subject is whether or not hearing people will accept cochlear implantee's as equal. Most of the members of Alldeaf are not hearing, and cannot speak with validity for the hearings "vox populi." However we can share our experiences with what the mainstreamed hearing society tells us. Valle just shared her personal reasons, as I did, and experience of how hearing people in her life notice the change in her with having a CI. Simple as that. I do not think one needs to be blatantly reminded of how well one functions is due to the type of environment that they were exposed to.
 
jillio said:
Keep in mind, vallee, that you are postligually deafened, and judge your functioning based onthe hearing standards that you have always been exposed to.
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True I mainstreamed, but the other choice for my mother in the 70's was limited. She felt that it was up to the teachers to provide the appropriate educational environment for me. Also my mother worked daily with me to develop my speech. I started to lost my hearing at age 3 from childhood illness. I was not fitted with hearing aids until 10 and lost the majority of hearing in my right ear at 26. I did not get my CI until I was 38.

My choice is not based on hearing standards it is base on what enables me to enjoy the quality of life. This enables me. It is not a "cure." It is a technology that allows me to continue my career and life. CI is a personal choice. It took me years of struggling with communication to make my decision. I had one goal - communicate with my child. I was fully ready to do a medical retirement from teaching, but my hearing is better than when I was 18.
 
vallee said:
True I mainstreamed, but the other choice for my mother in the 70's was limited. She felt that it was up to the teachers to provide the appropriate educational environment for me. Also my mother worked daily with me to develop my speech. I started to lost my hearing at age 3 from childhood illness. I was not fitted with hearing aids until 10 and lost the majority of hearing in my right ear at 26. I did not get my CI until I was 38.
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Hey, you don't need to explain or justify yourself. You've been hoh/deaf for a long time. I'd hardly say that you were used to a standard of normal hearing.

I have one child as well! How old is yours now? My daughter will be 5 in December and ready to start school in February.
 
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