rockin'robin
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My mother is currently in the final stages of her battle with cancer, and I think it quite important to relay what I’ve learned. As I’ve gone through this process with her, I’m constantly referring to resources that explain what happens to the body when it begins shutting down.
This is what I’ve learned so far:
1. The appetite begins to shut down.
Weeks ago my mom’s appetite became smaller and smaller. When this began to happen, my siblings and I battled against it. We tried giving mom appetite stimulants, medical marijuana (which worked for a bit), and tried to inspire her to eat as much as possible.
This works to a certain point, but then we realized we were only prolonging the inevitable. According to Hospice Patients Alliance, forcing a dying person to eat isn’t recommended. The body should be given the permission to shut down on its own.
This was very difficult for us to face, but we are now allowing nature to take its course.
2. Extreme fatigue, excess sleep, and social withdrawal.
Mom sleeps most of the day and night. This is also troubling for us — we naturally want her as alert as possible and fear losing the ability to communicate with her.
Experts on this subject suggest that we don’t force her to stay awake or communicate. It’s important to let her rest as much as possible. This will allow for her to ease into letting go.
3. Physical weakness.
The process of losing my mom has been somewhat gradual. The first stage of her lost battle with cancer was partial weakness. The second stage was her needing to use a walker. This was followed by her being wheeled from place to place in a wheelchair. And finally, she couldn’t even muster the energy to get out of bed. This was a very hard day for her — and for me.
As she’s nearing the last few days of life, simply moving her hands to touch her head or face is an extreme challenge.
4. Mental confusion.
There’s a certain amount of confusion that occurs during the process. Some tend to fade off into a distant place — like my grandma. I’ve seen others confused as to where they are and the people that surround them. In my experience with mom, this hasn’t occurred much. She understands what is being said and chimes in from time to time.
Her main source of confusion seems to come as result of the morphine she’s taking — and sometimes pure exhaustion.
5. Difficulty breathing.
As the body begins to shut down, “breath intakes and exhales become raggedy, irregular, and labored.”
6. Changes in urination.
After a person stops drinking water, the kidneys become distressed. This leads to decreased urine output, and urine turns dark orange and even reddish in hue. This process usually goes hand-in-hand with decreased blood-pressure.
My mom’s urine output has decreased significantly, and her urine is getting darker by the day. She is catheterized, so we are able to easily see the changes
7. Fingers and toes turn cold.
As circulation dwindles in the body, a person’s fingers and toes turn cold.
According to our hospice nurse, my mom has a powerful heart. This has fueled plenty of oxygen to her extremities and her brain, while other parts of her body are shutting down.
8. Mottled veins.
At the end of the process, skin begins to “pale and ashen develops a distinctive pattern of purplish/reddish/bluish mottling occurs.”
Mom hasn’t entered this phase, and to be honest, the thought of this makes me quite anxious.
Closing Thoughts
As I go through this process with my mom (and very best friend), I have to admit — it all hurts. Facing the imminent death of a loved one is perplexing, tiring, and heart-wrenching. If you’re at the beginning stages of this process, take a deep breath and know that you’re not alone.
I’m not quite sure how I’m going to be able to stomach the loss of my mom. Before I go to that place in my mind, I have to remind myself that it all happens in stages — I (and you too) will be given the strength to endure.
http://firsttoknow.com/signs-someone-is-dying/?utm_source=facebookpage
This is what I’ve learned so far:
1. The appetite begins to shut down.
Weeks ago my mom’s appetite became smaller and smaller. When this began to happen, my siblings and I battled against it. We tried giving mom appetite stimulants, medical marijuana (which worked for a bit), and tried to inspire her to eat as much as possible.
This works to a certain point, but then we realized we were only prolonging the inevitable. According to Hospice Patients Alliance, forcing a dying person to eat isn’t recommended. The body should be given the permission to shut down on its own.
This was very difficult for us to face, but we are now allowing nature to take its course.
2. Extreme fatigue, excess sleep, and social withdrawal.
Mom sleeps most of the day and night. This is also troubling for us — we naturally want her as alert as possible and fear losing the ability to communicate with her.
Experts on this subject suggest that we don’t force her to stay awake or communicate. It’s important to let her rest as much as possible. This will allow for her to ease into letting go.
3. Physical weakness.
The process of losing my mom has been somewhat gradual. The first stage of her lost battle with cancer was partial weakness. The second stage was her needing to use a walker. This was followed by her being wheeled from place to place in a wheelchair. And finally, she couldn’t even muster the energy to get out of bed. This was a very hard day for her — and for me.
As she’s nearing the last few days of life, simply moving her hands to touch her head or face is an extreme challenge.
4. Mental confusion.
There’s a certain amount of confusion that occurs during the process. Some tend to fade off into a distant place — like my grandma. I’ve seen others confused as to where they are and the people that surround them. In my experience with mom, this hasn’t occurred much. She understands what is being said and chimes in from time to time.
Her main source of confusion seems to come as result of the morphine she’s taking — and sometimes pure exhaustion.
5. Difficulty breathing.
As the body begins to shut down, “breath intakes and exhales become raggedy, irregular, and labored.”
6. Changes in urination.
After a person stops drinking water, the kidneys become distressed. This leads to decreased urine output, and urine turns dark orange and even reddish in hue. This process usually goes hand-in-hand with decreased blood-pressure.
My mom’s urine output has decreased significantly, and her urine is getting darker by the day. She is catheterized, so we are able to easily see the changes
7. Fingers and toes turn cold.
As circulation dwindles in the body, a person’s fingers and toes turn cold.
According to our hospice nurse, my mom has a powerful heart. This has fueled plenty of oxygen to her extremities and her brain, while other parts of her body are shutting down.
8. Mottled veins.
At the end of the process, skin begins to “pale and ashen develops a distinctive pattern of purplish/reddish/bluish mottling occurs.”
Mom hasn’t entered this phase, and to be honest, the thought of this makes me quite anxious.
Closing Thoughts
As I go through this process with my mom (and very best friend), I have to admit — it all hurts. Facing the imminent death of a loved one is perplexing, tiring, and heart-wrenching. If you’re at the beginning stages of this process, take a deep breath and know that you’re not alone.
I’m not quite sure how I’m going to be able to stomach the loss of my mom. Before I go to that place in my mind, I have to remind myself that it all happens in stages — I (and you too) will be given the strength to endure.
http://firsttoknow.com/signs-someone-is-dying/?utm_source=facebookpage
