12 year old daughter

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deafsqrrl

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She said that she has been thru changes and she started to get curious on what it is like touching a boy. The boys have been asking her for a permission.

She said she won't go all way -no way. I told her she is so young. Maybe hugging and quick kiss, but save the best till she is in high school.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks.
 
deafsqrrl said:
She said that she has been thru changes and she started to get curious on what it is like touching a boy. The boys have been asking her for a permission.

She said she won't go all way -no way. I told her she is so young. Maybe hugging and quick kiss, but save the best till she is in high school.

Any feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks.
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With all due respect 12 yrs old is too young for things like this. Also, HS is too young for engaging in sexual intercourse. I think supervised dating is more appropriate for this age.

Teenagers don't have the emotional maturity to handle situations that may arise from such behavior. Things can get out of hand real quickly, so I would advise this 12 yr old that group outings are okay, but absolutely no physical contact is allowed. I think sexual intercourse is something that should NOT be taken lightly. Maybe a senior in HS can handle the responsibilities that go along with sexual intercourse, but I honestly don't think a kid younger than that should even consider it.

Just my two cents.
 
Be very very glad that she is able to confide you in such personal matters. I hope that my 11 year old daughter would share such information with me when that time comes.

But Oceanbreeze is right - she is too young to give boys ANY permission to touch her ANYWHERE. Quick kissing or hugging will lead to somewhere! Why play with fire?

It is still dangerous in high school but of course we cannot stop our kids from doing what they intend to ...but it is much better if you start NOW and try to teach her the importance to save herself for the RIGHT guy. Most boys in high school will ask girls to prove their love for him by having sex. I was one of these who fell for that stupid trick at age 15.

Keep communication open and dont set timelines - she may not even be that mature in high school but she may be ...just take one day at a time with proper education, encouragement and resources.
 
I agree. Age 12 is way too young to allow hugging and kissing. It is too young for dating as couples. They should meet in groups only. Definitely no older boys involved.
 
I agree with Oceanbreeze...I have three grown up daughters... they went through same stage as 12 yrs old...You need to tell her to be careful,... she is too young... she should wait until she is old enough to make right decisions.. right now she is too young to make right decision...It wont be easy... tell her not to rush into growing up.... enjoy while she is still very young..
Thanks..
SxyPorkie
 
I have 3 girls as well. I would say that its off limits. She is way too young. Guys her age or older are ready to explore...
I would really sit down and talk to her what exactly sex is about. How it should be with someone that she loves and cares for when she is older. She doesn't have the ability to make mature decisions about sex yet.
 
Excuse me....12 years old!!!!??? I had to re-read this to make sure that my information was correct.

deafsqrrl - You need to sit your daughter down and explain to her that at her age, she should not be even considering sexual relations with her boyfriend, her best friend's boyfriend, her best friend's boyfriend's boyfriend or otherwise. At 12, she should only be concerned with schoolwork, supervised outings with reliable and trustworthy friends and/or the other teenage type things unrelated to heavy petting. She is naturally going to be curious, but this is where you need to take it upon yourself and initiate a chat about the birds and the bees. If she does not learn from you, she will learn from someone else, and she is quite possibly at risk of her first experiences (hopefully much, much, MUCH later on in the future) being bad or rushed ones...far from what sex is meant to be in the first place.

So...sit her down, explain to her what 12 year old boys are thinking, and explain that it is completely normal for her to be having thoughts especially with her body beginning to develop, her hormones starting to flourish. Then explain to her why it's simply better to wait.

If that doesn't work, lock her up until she's 30. My daughter, who will be 12 next week, has already been submitted to the closest nunnery, where they'll be sure to prevent any mishaps on her part. :)

Good luck!
 
Yes I´m agree with Gemtun and RainGurl on this. Let your daughter know that sex is not the fun for anyone.
 
Teenagers don't have the emotional maturity to handle situations that may arise from such behavior.
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AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! God, they still think that the advice given in teen magazines on "How to Get a HAWT Guy" REALLY works. I remember when I was a teen, I thought I knew EVERYTHING..........I look back and just laugh at how immature and naive I was! They need to know that a romantic relationship is simply an outgrowth of a nautral healthy relationship.
 
My friends - you are absolutely right! My girl and I did talk many times before. She just turned to be 12 and she suddenly has grown to being a woman overnight. I did not realize how quick time has gone.
I did talk to her for 2 days in row and told her no's no's. I asked her about STD, AIDS, - she knows about these stuff. She said Not to worry. I have spent some quality time with her and I have promised myself that I will continue spending time with her from time to time despite I work full time. I will continue to watch out for her and make sure that shes in safe hands. Thanks God, she has many good close friends.
My girl did beg me to allow her to transfer from public school to private school for this year. I had a hard time making a decision and I thought over time for one month. Finally I said no not till she in high school. You see, public school and private school are completely different - night and day. Private school - everyone watches everyone else and I feel very comfortable. If she was placed in a public school, I would become very nervous like a wreck. I did visit the public school - middle school - where she would go - I did visit TWICE before making a decision. I felt funny and not right. So I follow my guts. My girl had a hard time time getting over, but it is all over.
 
boys will be boys, I remember those days. Boys should be scold for trying to get into girl's pants. I know some of them can be very pushy and brag about it if they get it from girl. do not let ur daughter to go thru with them or they will call her a slut or whore or whatever that name. Do not cave in to any of the pressures from them. They are not worth it. Tell ur daughter to save her virgin till the man she wants to marry not a boy.
 
deafsqrrl said:
My friends - you are absolutely right! My girl and I did talk many times before. She just turned to be 12 and she suddenly has grown to being a woman overnight. I did not realize how quick time has gone.
I did talk to her for 2 days in row and told her no's no's. I asked her about STD, AIDS, - she knows about these stuff. She said Not to worry. I have spent some quality time with her and I have promised myself that I will continue spending time with her from time to time despite I work full time. I will continue to watch out for her and make sure that shes in safe hands. Thanks God, she has many good close friends.
My girl did beg me to allow her to transfer from public school to private school for this year. I had a hard time making a decision and I thought over time for one month. Finally I said no not till she in high school. You see, public school and private school are completely different - night and day. Private school - everyone watches everyone else and I feel very comfortable. If she was placed in a public school, I would become very nervous like a wreck. I did visit the public school - middle school - where she would go - I did visit TWICE before making a decision. I felt funny and not right. So I follow my guts. My girl had a hard time time getting over, but it is all over.
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First, you did the right thing by keeping her in private school. However, that's still not sufficient insulation against life. She can just as easily get in trouble out of school, so I'd keep talking to her about things that can happen should she get involved with someone at her age. She is just too too too young for this right now.

Someone already eluded to this, but a nunnery is NOT a bad idea, and neither is a chastity belt. :lol:

I'm kidding, of course, but seriously... You should do everything in your power to protect your daughter for what is lurking out there. You don't want her to go out there and wind up pregnant or become infected with an STD. It could possibly ruin her life.
 
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