11 Years as a Deaf Educator Didn't Prepare Me...

deafbajagal

deafbajagal

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So, I'm supposed to be an expert on teaching deaf and hard of hearing children, right? I've done it for eleven years, not counting the times I was a student learning about deaf education, emerging myself with working with deaf/hh children. I can even be a little cocky sometimes with the "know-it-all" attitude on here (hey, I'm being honest. Painfully honest).

I got this report. It's the same kind of report I've seen countless time over the years in the referral process of special education services.

"Your child has failed a hearing screening at school. Please take this form to an audiologist/ oncologist..."

This time, it's MY child's name on the form. And I have to be honest. I'm not ready. I'm actually in shock. I KNEW she had profound hearing loss in the left ear, and I was prepared and I have been working on making sure she has services, etc. for that. But this is the good ear. Is it possible she is losing hearing in the "good ear? "

I don't know why but I'm shaken by this note. I have made her an appointment with an audiologist where I work on Thursday. My stomach is in knots.

For the first time, I can truly experience what my own mother has gone through...the same questions, the same concerns, the same fears. Even though I have much more of a vast experience in understanding the field of deafness than she ever did, it all doesn't prepare me to be a mother of a deaf/hard of hearing child.
 
deafbajagal said:
So, I'm supposed to be an expert on teaching deaf and hard of hearing children, right? I've done it for eleven years, not counting the times I was a student learning about deaf education, emerging myself with working with deaf/hh children. I can even be a little cocky sometimes with the "know-it-all" attitude on here (hey, I'm being honest. Painfully honest).

I got this report. It's the same kind of report I've seen countless time over the years in the referral process of special education services.

"Your child has failed a hearing screening at school. Please take this form to an audiologist/ oncologist..."

This time, it's MY child's name on the form. And I have to be honest. I'm not ready. I'm actually in shock. I KNEW she had profound hearing loss in the left ear, and I was prepared and I have been working on making sure she has services, etc. for that. But this is the good ear. Is it possible she is losing hearing in the "good ear? "

I don't know why but I'm shaken by this note. I have made her an appointment with an audiologist where I work on Thursday. My stomach is in knots.

For the first time, I can truly experience what my own mother has gone through...the same questions, the same concerns, the same fears. Even though I have much more of a vast experience in understanding the field of deafness than she ever did, it all doesn't prepare me to be a mother of a deaf/hard of hearing child.
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Why "oncologist?"
 
My question is... why are they recomending that your child to see an Oncologist? Do t hey suspect a mass in her ear or what?
 
It's what the form says "audiologist/otologist" :dunno:

OH! I see what you guys mean...I wrote down oncologist. My bad. Out of habit from being a cancer patient, I guess. :giggle:
 
deafbajagal said:
It's what the form says "audiologist/otologist" :dunno:

OH! I see what you guys mean...I wrote down oncologist. My bad. Out of habit from being a cancer patient, I guess. :giggle:
Click to expand...

Well, that's some luck at least. Otologist is was less scary than oncologist.
 
I'd be a bit shaken by that as well. Seeing an Audi or an ENT seems sort of routine, but just the word oncologist would make me quake. Such a strange combo to have as a form entry, wondering if they typo'd otolaryngologist?

Edit: ooops, see where you noted otologist. Much less worrisome:) !
 
I hope all goes well for you and your daughter. :hug:
 
warpedpink said:
lol how about "your child is hard of hearing / deaf"
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screeners are not allowed to Dx a person, as Deaf or HOH. Only a Doctor can. So Failed the screen is appropriate. Unless you want to say below normal hearing range.
 
Which is why she has referred her daughter to see an Audiologist or ENT.
 
Bajagirl, at least you know better then most people how to deal with it. I think for you, its the fact that this was unexpected, rather then the fact that Izzy may be hoh.
At least she'll have access to a full toolbox of options.....and maybe this way, she can go to your deaf school if the loss is significent enough!
 
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Baja..hope everything goes well for you. :hug:
 
I went through a similar experience as I saw both sides of the fence. As that HOH child I knew I didn't want to wear my hearing aids and I was going to pull them out when I felt like it and how dare anyone pretend to understand my needs. As the mother of a HOH child my kid was going to wear her hearing aids because I said so! I realised I had no recent/relvant experience of paediatrics or the school system. Like you I'd been on the one side of the fence, experienced the school system as a teacher, but never the frustrations of the parent side. I knew what happened once a child had got "into the system" but not how to get them there. I didn't know the appeals system, I didn't know how to get placements, from my side of the table needs assessments just turned up somehow.

It suddenly felt all very different and alien even though it was "my world" already. This was her deafness and I didn't know what I was meant to do. I got a lot of comfort from the National Deaf Children's Society here in the UK, not sure what there is similar where you are. They actually run courses for parents on how the system works, different types of placements and how to apply for them, who are all these people your child might see and what do they do. Very useful.

Screening tests are just that, though, don't mentally let that ship sail, there are a million reasons she may have "failed" (and no, I don't like that term either in this context) the screening but would be OK on a proper evaluation. She may have wax (most school testing, at least here, doesn't look in the ears) she may have had an off day, they may have done testing in an unsuitable environment (I remember many a school test done with the thundering of the sports hall next door! It's a wonder any kid passed), or they may be picking up only marginal losses. It seems that most school tests have to pick the child up in the 0-20 band, sometimes even the 0-15 band, in order to have a "pass" and then you take them to the audiologist and they score the same 25dB in one frequency and the audi says let's not worry about that, it's fine. Perhaps with a proper evaluation in the audiologist's office with a soundproof booth she'll fly through and this will all have been just a story to tell. If not, I guess you look at the positive that you have early identification and can work on things right away.
 
DBG, I'll echo deafdyke: your little one is very lucky to have a parent with your expertise AND experience! Contrary to your fears, I think you are so well prepared, your daughter couldn't possibly have a better situation. :hug:
 
Any time there is change, it is a challenge. I understand where you're coming from, but as others have mentioned you will be able to give her exactly what she needs. This shock will soon blend in with reality, and you'll get back in the groove. Just keep your head up, and know that it all works out in the end.
You have a whole group of people supporting you... Your daughter is perfect exactly how she is and she will continue to learn how to navigate this world with a hearing loss. After all, she has the best teacher and supporter she could ask for- you.
 
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