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  1. O

    The Genie

    Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf..... Unfortunately, the wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize...
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    Bob & the Blonde

    Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said...
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    All about Love

    Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. 'Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish,' she asks, 'Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine? Melissa's father thinks a bit, then...
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    Another Little Johnnie

    Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby...
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    Believe it or Not

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Where did those eveyday phrases come from??? They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this...
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    It's Not Funny

    Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he's fed. Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts Anyway! Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat. Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he Tries to think. Tax his car, Tax his...
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    junior firefighter

    A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in A little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, And a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog...
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    Irish bank robber

    An armed, hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot, one brave Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off, revealing the robber's face. The robber shoots the guy without hesitation. He...
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    Grandma

    Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a...
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    Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

    Two Ladies Talking in Heaven 1st woman: Hi! Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a...
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    Marriage

    I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a...
  12. O

    Five rules for men to follow to a happy life

    1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, Who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you Laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust And who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman...
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    The South Gotta Love It !!!

    Alabama A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the...
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    Little Johnny

    It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can...
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    An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man

    An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand. He says to the Italian guy, 'You're in charge of sweeping.' To the Scotsman he says, 'You're in charge of shoveling.' And to the Chinese guy, 'You're in charge of...
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    Liverpool fan

    A Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise...
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    New Boots

    ----- An elderly couple, Dorothy and Bert, moved to Texas . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"...
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    Old Men

    I went to the doctor complaining of fluid on the knee. He said "Your not aiming right"
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    Another Blonde Joke

    Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully get out of the car and open the trunk. .. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life like you...
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    Lucky Jack

    Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had...
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