Is it worth to be "oral"?

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sylbea

sylbea

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I've been asking myself this for a while now, and would like for this to be the place where you can discuss your own experiences of adjusting to the "hearing" world, and the obstacles you have had to endure, and whether you consider yourself "oral" or among the Deaf, or both.

I'm severe-to-profoundly deaf, underwent intensive speech therapy and have been mainstreamed into university now. I've experienced bouts of isolation due to communication problems and social anxiety over how they perceive my deafness and difficulties with speech, and my other issues concerning my own introverted nature and mindset.

My resolution is to learn sign language for the first time (specifically BSL, as I live in the country), so that it opens up another door and get the best of both worlds. It's a consolation as to how communication doesn't have to be verbal. Take Helen Keller's achievements, for example.

Whether or not it is worth it to be oral, that is up to you. Some may identify with being oralists like myself, some may not. Feel free to share, I imagine there will be others who can learn from this.
 
it WAS NOT worth all the misery I endured to be oral-only. thank God I learned ASL and now happy with my life as a deaf person. I don't feel the need to belittle others or a cultural group like some people do.
 
sylbea said:
I've been asking myself this for a while now, and would like for this to be the place where you can discuss your own experiences of adjusting to the "hearing" world, and the obstacles you have had to endure, and whether you consider yourself "oral" or among the Deaf, or both.

I'm severe-to-profoundly deaf, underwent intensive speech therapy and have been mainstreamed into university now. I've experienced bouts of isolation due to communication problems and social anxiety over how they perceive my deafness and difficulties with speech, and my other issues concerning my own introverted nature and mindset.

My resolution is to learn sign language for the first time (specifically BSL, as I live in the country), so that it opens up another door and get the best of both worlds. It's a consolation as to how communication doesn't have to be verbal. Take Helen Keller's achievements, for example.

Whether or not it is worth it to be oral, that is up to you. Some may identify with being oralists like myself, some may not. Feel free to share, I imagine there will be others who can learn from this.
Click to expand...
What about Keller? She was famously oralist, although people tactile spelled to her because of her blindness.
For yourself, you should proceed with whatever makes you comfortable and reduces your anxiety.
 
No doubt it was worth it only because technology made it possible among other things.
 
Wirelessly posted

I do both. I am oral at work and with my family. I am upfront about it and tell them I am HOH with my hearing aids and may miss out. They usually are very good about facing me when talking to me and making sure I am not left out. Then around my deaf friends I sign ASL. Hearing aids in both ears helps me a lot. I take them out later in the day since it does become over stimulating.
 
Bottesini said:
What about Keller? She was famously oralist, although people tactile spelled to her because of her blindness.
For yourself, you should proceed with whatever makes you comfortable and reduces your anxiety.
Click to expand...
Keller proved she could communicate regardless of the method itself. Technology was different back then, but Keller showed willingness in being oral despite her limitations. That's a testament to her character, I suppose. She had the mindset of adapting to the environment as a means to her advantage, without which she would not be as well-known as she is now.

I should dwell less on my own anxiety and more on the opportunities to prove my deafness doesn't have to define who I am. Small steps matter first.
 
Why can't we change the way oralism is? I have NO beef with kids developing speech skills.......BUT I don't like how a lot of audists think that should be the ONLY tool that a dhh kid gets. Have built in speech classes or voice on periods.But promote speech as an ADDITIONAL tool,and give dhh kids Sign AND Deaf Schools/classes...
I'm glad I can speak...........BUT I ALSO wish I'd gotten ASL and deaf ed,AND exposure to the Deaf community............I remember thinking I was the ONLY HOH kid in the world............Why is there so much emphais on fitting into the hearing world/mainstream? Oral skills only allows VERY partial access...Saying that oral skills will allow your child access to the mainstream,is like saying that being fluent in Spanish will allow a white person unfettered access to Hispanic culture...
 
deafdyke said:
Why can't we change the way oralism is? I have NO beef with kids developing speech skills.......BUT I don't like how a lot of audists think that should be the ONLY tool that a dhh kid gets. Have built in speech classes or voice on periods.But promote speech as an ADDITIONAL tool,and give dhh kids Sign AND Deaf Schools/classes...
I'm glad I can speak...........BUT I ALSO wish I'd gotten ASL and deaf ed,AND exposure to the Deaf community............I remember thinking I was the ONLY HOH kid in the world............Why is there so much emphais on fitting into the hearing world/mainstream? Oral skills only allows VERY partial access...Saying that oral skills will allow your child access to the mainstream,is like saying that being fluent in Spanish will allow a white person unfettered access to Hispanic culture...
Click to expand...

It's not about access to a "culture" but communication access. It's really about developing aural and oral skills, and not just oral skills only. Having a hearing aid or cochlear implant provide the necessary feedback when it comes to developing oral skills.
 
I too am severe to profound in one ear and 100% deaf in the other. I was a product of both deaf school and mainstreamed. Today I'm oral with a spattering of rusty ASL. As you know, being oral in a hearing world is not easy and it sure can feel terribly isolating at times.

Sylbea... I wholeheartedly agree that learning BSL is the right route to go. Don't hesitate. Don't let others stop or discourage you ok? It does open a huge door for you socially. You will feel as if you belong. You will realize what you had been missing all those years.... a sense of belonging.

Btw, in case you're not aware of this, Princess Diana learned BSL and joined the British Deaf Association!
 
sylbea said:
I've been asking myself this for a while now, and would like for this to be the place where you can discuss your own experiences of adjusting to the "hearing" world, and the obstacles you have had to endure, and whether you consider yourself "oral" or among the Deaf, or both.

I'm severe-to-profoundly deaf, underwent intensive speech therapy and have been mainstreamed into university now. I've experienced bouts of isolation due to communication problems and social anxiety over how they perceive my deafness and difficulties with speech, and my other issues concerning my own introverted nature and mindset.

My resolution is to learn sign language for the first time (specifically BSL, as I live in the country), so that it opens up another door and get the best of both worlds. It's a consolation as to how communication doesn't have to be verbal. Take Helen Keller's achievements, for example.

Whether or not it is worth it to be oral, that is up to you. Some may identify with being oralists like myself, some may not. Feel free to share, I imagine there will be others who can learn from this.
Click to expand...

that's entirely up to you. nobody can tell you how or what you should do. You can identify however you want it. If somebody has a problem with you being able to hear/talk... BOO HOO!!! that's his/her problem and he/she needs to deal with it and grow up.

I am also an oral deafie. I learned ASL 4 years ago and it changed my life. Since then... I mostly hang out with deaf people, participate in deaf events, traveled all over, etc. It's been a very rewarding experience.
 
kokonut said:
No doubt it was worth it only because technology made it possible among other things.
Click to expand...
True. But it all comes down to one's own attitude, which decides for itself. Even if technology has greatly improved since then, there's still a lack of awareness and the issue with ableism. One way to solve this is to demonstrate with what we ourselves are capable of, only except hearing.
 
Babyblue said:
Wirelessly posted

I do both. I am oral at work and with my family. I am upfront about it and tell them I am HOH with my hearing aids and may miss out. They usually are very good about facing me when talking to me and making sure I am not left out. Then around my deaf friends I sign ASL. Hearing aids in both ears helps me a lot. I take them out later in the day since it does become over stimulating.
Click to expand...
That is a good approach, to be assertive about one's own limitations and that way the others are supportive of them. The right company is what counts.

I can completely relate on over-stimulation. Sometimes it's literally energy-draining having to adjust to the setting in general. Some people and I myself thrive on silence instead.
 
deafdyke said:
Why can't we change the way oralism is? I have NO beef with kids developing speech skills.......BUT I don't like how a lot of audists think that should be the ONLY tool that a dhh kid gets. Have built in speech classes or voice on periods.But promote speech as an ADDITIONAL tool,and give dhh kids Sign AND Deaf Schools/classes...
I'm glad I can speak...........BUT I ALSO wish I'd gotten ASL and deaf ed,AND exposure to the Deaf community............I remember thinking I was the ONLY HOH kid in the world............Why is there so much emphais on fitting into the hearing world/mainstream? Oral skills only allows VERY partial access...Saying that oral skills will allow your child access to the mainstream,is like saying that being fluent in Spanish will allow a white person unfettered access to Hispanic culture...
Click to expand...

kokonut said:
It's not about access to a "culture" but communication access. It's really about developing aural and oral skills, and not just oral skills only. Having a hearing aid or cochlear implant provide the necessary feedback when it comes to developing oral skills.
Click to expand...
Precisely. We've got to cope with the real ("hearing") world somehow, and in some ways it can be seen as an opportunity to maximise rather than to restrict - even if that means having to play to our limitations as well as our strengths.

Sign language is indeed crucial to communication and culture. Lack of awareness among the majority on deafness and Deaf culture is the reason for limited resources in education, which makes it easy for those to either keep to themselves or go mainstream. If we can take concrete action on this matter, by bridging the gaps in knowledge and our rights for equality, that option will become more readily available, and will give a new meaning to oralism.
 
sheri363 said:
I too am severe to profound in one ear and 100% deaf in the other. I was a product of both deaf school and mainstreamed. Today I'm oral with a spattering of rusty ASL. As you know, being oral in a hearing world is not easy and it sure can feel terribly isolating at times.

Sylbea... I wholeheartedly agree that learning BSL is the right route to go. Don't hesitate. Don't let others stop or discourage you ok? It does open a huge door for you socially. You will feel as if you belong. You will realize what you had been missing all those years.... a sense of belonging.

Btw, in case you're not aware of this, Princess Diana learned BSL and joined the British Deaf Association!
Click to expand...
Thank you, I'll be looking into classes the first thing. I've decided to remain oral for the most part as well. I'm curious as to why you're mostly oral given you went to deaf school and your "rusty ASL". What made you decide it?

That's interesting, I've never known that before even now. But it goes to show how learning a new language is indeed an advantage itself. It's a sign of respect.
 
Jiro said:
that's entirely up to you. nobody can tell you how or what you should do. You can identify however you want it. If somebody has a problem with you being able to hear/talk... BOO HOO!!! that's his/her problem and he/she needs to deal with it and grow up.

I am also an oral deafie. I learned ASL 4 years ago and it changed my life. Since then... I mostly hang out with deaf people, participate in deaf events, traveled all over, etc. It's been a very rewarding experience.
Click to expand...
Definitely. But it sure sometimes feel like you're up against the world, if you get my drift. There's always the issue with ableism.

All the more reason to learn sign myself, I'll have to be really dumb not to take this opportunity. Do you then identify more with the deaf, despite being oral yourself?
 
shel90 said:
it WAS NOT worth all the misery I endured to be oral-only. thank God I learned ASL and now happy with my life as a deaf person. I don't feel the need to belittle others or a cultural group like some people do.
Click to expand...
Whatever works for you and others, works. Goes to show how verbal doesn't have to be the norm of communication.
 
sylbea said:
Whatever works for you and others, works. Goes to show how verbal doesn't have to be the norm of communication.
Click to expand...


Growing up, my hearing family decided that the oral-only approach was the best thing for me when it was the opposite.
 
sylbea said:
Definitely. But it sure sometimes feel like you're up against the world, if you get my drift. There's always the issue with ableism.

All the more reason to learn sign myself, I'll have to be really dumb not to take this opportunity. Do you then identify more with the deaf, despite being oral yourself?
Click to expand...

yes
 
sylbea said:
I've been asking myself this for a while now, and would like for this to be the place where you can discuss your own experiences of adjusting to the "hearing" world, and the obstacles you have had to endure, and whether you consider yourself "oral" or among the Deaf, or both.

I'm severe-to-profoundly deaf, underwent intensive speech therapy and have been mainstreamed into university now. I've experienced bouts of isolation due to communication problems and social anxiety over how they perceive my deafness and difficulties with speech, and my other issues concerning my own introverted nature and mindset.

My resolution is to learn sign language for the first time (specifically BSL, as I live in the country), so that it opens up another door and get the best of both worlds. It's a consolation as to how communication doesn't have to be verbal. Take Helen Keller's achievements, for example.

Whether or not it is worth it to be oral, that is up to you. Some may identify with being oralists like myself, some may not. Feel free to share, I imagine there will be others who can learn from this.
Click to expand...

do you live Suffolk,i went deaf early 30's so transition alto devastating,i remain thinking as heari foot in both worlds..Where i live and within family no bsl users but time spent in london enable me go deaf clubs more relaxing bsl
places like City Lit are helpful,i went to a place in Eastbourne where you take the person you most likely to sign with..The places not easy to get into..i live isolated life better that than paranoid.
there is signing choirs which i not struck on i find mostly hearing go or deaf Jesus fans and that not for me...
there bsl club in norwich most are hearies and unless you are level 3 or more then no have you in i am told...makes no sense a deaf person unable to join,it sickened me be told that and will not go, also far from me.
good luck
 
sylbea said:
Thank you, I'll be looking into classes the first thing. I've decided to remain oral for the most part as well. I'm curious as to why you're mostly oral given you went to deaf school and your "rusty ASL". What made you decide it?

That's interesting, I've never known that before even now. But it goes to show how learning a new language is indeed an advantage itself. It's a sign of respect.
Click to expand...

I was in the deaf school system during the first several years until I was 100% mainstreamed starting in grade 9 in a hearing high school. Due to lack of ASL exposure, I lost most of it. Long story short my parents kept me away from my deaf/HoH friends. My parents decided it.

I'm mostly oral today because of where I live. I don't live in an urban area.
 
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