What's with MEN??

Can anyone in here care to explain to me why some men seem to have a problem with dating a woman who may be a little overweight, why is the outside so important to some men?....

I can't seem to understand it myself, I mean if I was dating someone who was a bit overweight, I wouldn't even look at it from the outside, the only thing is important is the person's personality....

There are many women out there who is stuggle on their weight, and they are trying their hardest to lose the weight but it seem its not enough to some men, cause they can be quite picky....



Let's discuss this issue here......

its prove they re not caring, as known we re not perfection. They have to accept who inside all of us. Well, not all men, some women re like that too. There is some group of women that i know from classmate, they all cares to be with high classes, beautiful looking than being with ugly looks. They always beg me to join. I always reject them. At least we know real who they re. Don't let it to low us or bother us. They re just missing out their life.

Well, it's not just men but women, too.

Simple is they compare you with models with beautiful bodies.

To my opinion, if you can't appreciate man or woman for everything then you are more in love with your hormones than you are with man or woman.

I don't know why there's that problem cuz I don't have it. Must be an ego thing.

Liebling dear,

I know there may be some women out there who are quite picky with men being overweight, but this thread is about some men, if man want to complain about women picking on them, they can create their own thread....

But right now I'm sticking with what the thread is about " What's with Men? "

I grew up really skinny til I got pregnant with my daughter.. i became alittle overweight.

When I was skinny, I had all these guys coming after me.. looks.... all they wanted was sex..

now that I'm a bit overweight, i've got a few guys that still come after me just for who i am.. even though those guys that were after me when i was skinny looks at me differently because i'm not as attractive as i used to be.

for the women, there at a lot of us that prefer thin guys. I'm not one of them.. I don't about looks.. I only see it as having a great personality, friendly and I love seeing men with the sensitive side.. with the egos, forget it. not my thing.

I dated one guy back in early years in college and I was at my comfortably average weight... he told me that I needed to lose weight especially on the hips. That hurt me so much then I dumped him right away because I had no tolerance for superficial men like this guy. He came back running to me because he realized about who I am. Of course, I didn't give him a 2nd chance. I told him that he'd better not repeat the same mistake when he finds someone else.

It's all about ego and selfishness.

I know the feeling - Ive been overweight for a long time and Ive had men saying they liked me for my personality and then seeing pictures of me...or in person, and breaking it off by saying they just want to be friends.

You have no idea how crushing this can be to your self-esteem until this happens...and you wonder what is wrong with you, why is this happening to you, why doesnt men want to see you for what you are inside, but instead see you on the outside...this also goes for some women too, some are just like men, wanting the perfect body on their arms.

Several times, I thought I landed the right person, only to find out later to my disgust, that they were using me for money, sex and transportation. Theyve said there was no way they were gonna be my partner, not at the weight I was.

Others have told me, if I lose weight, I'm gonna be one hot babe, they gonna grab me for theirs right away...that's also a big turn off too. They ain't gonna find out what I'm like on the inside, but look at me on the outside? BBLLPPTTHH.

And then there are the worst types...those who JUDGE you for what you look on the outside. They will say, "Oh, she has a beautiful face, but she's too gross below the neck," or "you would be prettier if you lose all the weight you have on you." I've even had one great-aunt ask me if she could have some of my fat...I thought in my mind, "WTF???" but just smiled on the outside while I dealt with my hurt feelings behind my mask.

Men?

Women?

They lose out big time when they judge you by looking at the outside, and saying, "oh, he/she ain't gonna fit with me, he/she is too big for me," without even taking the time to find out who you really are inside of you... I know some people here on AD that are big, but they have such beautiful personalities, and such beautiful faces and bodies, that I could easily fall in love with them any time any day...

I will tell you the honest truth... I used to be 437 ... yeah, 437 fooking pounds. Over the course of two years, I have worked hard in losing weight, with a few slips ...well...quite a few...err...more than quite a few anyway. Now I am two pounds from another milestone, and I am quite proud of myself...but there are times when I am totally terrified.

Im just very lucky to have MizzDeaf in my life, she has been positive and encouraging in my goal to lose weight, not for her, but for my own health.

I wish more men (and women) were more like MizzDeaf. She saw me for what I really am, not just my body.

I always feel that if someone rejects you because he/she thinks you're too big, they lose out big time. And I mean BIG TIME.

Well said there DreamDeaf, Beautiful!!!!! ...

Amen Dreamdeaf


That's how I feel too. After they see my picture, They said, You look beautiful or hot, and have a great personality but when they see below me, They just get turned off, But sometimes they won't tell you the real reason for not wanting you. Ever since then I thought it had something to do with me having two children. But, it all makes sense to me it has to do with my weight issue. If I accept men for who they are from the inside, I expect the same treatment.

I used to be so picky that I would only go after guys who have muscles, very sexy and hot looking. Most of them had a lousy personality, I decide that's not for me. If I want to find someone, I'll find someone who has everything that's in their heart that I would want. I wouldn't care so much about the outside part. If they lose weight, great if not I don't care. Their body is not the reason for me loving them. It's what inside their heart, matters to me the most. I would want a guy that cares so much about me, that would expressed his feelings to me, that has the same things in common with me. That's all I ever wanted and ever ask for.

Oh God sis you're making me cry here.... ....I know you do hon, I'm not saying this because I'm your sister, I'm saying this because I'm being honest you are BEAUTIFUL in and out, no matter what others say, because YOU ARE!!!

i am overweight... i know some men dont like some woman who is overweight.. i dont care what men say.. cuz of they are loser!

Forgive my manner here but I forgot to add that you ALL look beautiful inside and out!!

^Angel^ said:

Forgive my manner here but I forgot to add that you ALL look beautiful inside and out!!

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awww, that sweet of u! u are too!

Did you that in American history, there are times where bigger women were considered beautiful and thin women weren't?

It happens in the world today too. I'm sure there's plenty of places in Africa and Europe where beautiful women have more weight on them.

Hi ladies, to be honest with you. In general, men DO have their own ego problems. I do not think most guys would dump chick because of whats below the head. It is because of real embarassements, and humilated when their male friends looked at his woman and joking! Even telling him, hey! I got hotter chick than you! How do some of these guys put up this? It is VERY common!!! It is about "Guy pressure". Seriously, at my work many guys were talking to each other making fun on this guy who had wife who's on the last list of chick they would want to date with. His wife happen to work on same line as mine! Sooo ugly! I am sorry to say that, yet her husband got real humilated with harassment from many of guys at my work! I wasn't there to see it happen but heard enough.

You see, most guys talks about sport, for same reason! EGO!!! It is all about knowing who is best, that is all there is. Yes, there is betting going on. I do NOT bet on who is number one. I just bet on a box, not knowing what the number, and it does not care who wins or who loses. I am not into sports! Even in lottery too, I do play bet sometimes just for the fun of it.

I am not giving up on Cheri! I DO want to help her so much, just gave her plenty of encourageemnt because I KNEW she will accomplish something and I do not want to miss that!

That is true! Even in sinful city like Las Vegas got conference for huge woman to find skinny guys! It was huge one! Some guys, I know one prefers huge chicks over skinny one. I asked him why? His response was... Huge woman usually are more fun with than skinny and that skinny tend to be too serious all the time. That is HIS comment, not mine.

Endymion said:

Did you that in American history, there are times where bigger women were considered beautiful and thin women weren't?

It happens in the world today too. I'm sure there's plenty of places in Africa and Europe where beautiful women have more weight on them.

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Yeah *ranting* sort of men are bunch of lame! What more, Men really want all think women are perfect looking slim and sexier.. Oh please, Give a break!
don't you see women who has great personalities inside and outside... who have chubby or overweight or else.. who cares name it.. as long they are great personalities and quite very good sense.
Which good thing whoever you have extremelly lucky have your man who stood up beside your life no matter how r u looking weight.. so am I my man is willing accept who am I ... due reason thyroid.. Sometimes he wishes could have me long time ago when I was nice slim and have no thyroid that time.. I was told wishes yes.. admit but accept who am I right now.. I'm big braod and little fatty chubby... of course needs goal my weight little going down.

Endymion said:

Did you that in American history, there are times where bigger women were considered beautiful and thin women weren't?

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Yes, Endy - I know what you mean. In Renaissance times, you will see a lot of portraits of women that would be considered fat today, but were labled as voluptuous, curvaceous and even beautiful then...

Example:







I had quite a bit of searching, because so many depicted naked (horrors!) women...but these still showed what I wanted to show... look at the hips, the calves, the bosom...they all had...what?...CURVES!!!

diehardbiker65 said:

Hi ladies, to be honest with you. In general, men DO have their own ego problems. I do not think most guys would dump chick because of whats below the head. It is because of real embarassements, and humilated when their male friends looked at his woman and joking! Even telling him, hey! I got hotter chick than you! How do some of these guys put up this? It is VERY common!!! It is about "Guy pressure". Seriously, at my work many guys were talking to each other making fun on this guy who had wife who's on the last list of chick they would want to date with. His wife happen to work on same line as mine! Sooo ugly! I am sorry to say that, yet her husband got real humilated with harassment from many of guys at my work! I wasn't there to see it happen but heard enough.

You see, most guys talks about sport, for same reason! EGO!!! It is all about knowing who is best, that is all there is. Yes, there is betting going on. I do NOT bet on who is number one. I just bet on a box, not knowing what the number, and it does not care who wins or who loses. I am not into sports! Even in lottery too, I do play bet sometimes just for the fun of it.

I am not giving up on Cheri! I DO want to help her so much, just gave her plenty of encourageemnt because I KNEW she will accomplish something and I do not want to miss that!

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These people who make fun or say negative things about other people are not considered as true friends at all!! True friends are the ones who can accept people for who they are, not for what is outside on them.