Do we actually want our deaf child to hear?

I'll ask it more in a direct manner: "Would you want your child to be able to hear"?

This is like: If your Yes/No would make your deaf child hear, what would you answer. (I'm not talking about operations, CI, HA, Sign, Oral)

As a hearing parent it's "Yes" for me and I know that it's the same for deaf parents I have met. But there are people that hope for a deaf child since that way they would feel closer to it, or the believe it will be easier to relate to.
I remember a case in Canada where two parents went through a lot of trouble to increase their chances. (And with success.)

But what about you?

No, I wouldn't change a thing about little G. I love him just the way he is. We are all wonderfully unique.

I was having difficulty coming up with an answer. If I had a deaf child, I wouldn't want him or her to hear so much as I would give them the option. I'm not here to pathologize deafness, nor tell a deaf child that he or she has to get a CI or hearing aids if he or she does not want it. I'm also not inclined to tell a deaf child that he or she can't accept that philosophy or the assistive technologies that have been developed in light of it.

I don't have an opinion on the subject because I believe it's a deaf individual's choice if they want to hear stuff. It's the child's decision, not mine, to make.

Teresh said:

I was having difficulty coming up with an answer. If I had a deaf child, I wouldn't want him or her to hear so much as I would give them the option. I'm not here to pathologize deafness, nor tell a deaf child that he or she has to get a CI or hearing aids if he or she does not want it. I'm also not inclined to tell a deaf child that he or she can't accept that philosophy or the assistive technologies that have been developed in light of it.

I don't have an opinion on the subject because I believe it's a deaf individual's choice if they want to hear stuff. It's the child's decision, not mine, to make.

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I simplified the question to find out what the parent wants. I'm not looking for the child's opinion. A parent might want to wish that a child can hear, and from that give the child the option.
I'm interested in YOUR opinion.

Cloggy said:

I simplified the question to find out what the parent wants. I'm not looking for the child's opinion. A parent might want to wish that a child can hear, and from that give the child the option.
I'm interested in YOUR opinion.

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Which is why I say your poll is a gross oversimplification. What if the parent 's opinion is that the child should choose for himself or herself? There's no third option for people like me who don't care either way.

You see things in black and white, as reflected in your poll. You need to work on that.

Teresh said:

Which is why I say your poll is a gross oversimplification. What if the parent 's opinion is that the child should choose for himself or herself? There's no third option for people like me who don't care either way.

You see things in black and white, as reflected in your poll. You need to work on that.

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Well, I thought about having the poll
A: Yes, as soon as possible,
B: Yes, but the child has to decide
C: Yes, but not by invasive surgery
D: No

Any A,B,C is Yes, so why not just two choices.

I'm not asking if you would follow up on "yes", I'm trying to stop before that.

Perhaps it should be:
A: Yes
B: yes, but
C: No
D: No, but

It is a very difficult dilemma parents have to face because they say the earlier one implants the better, because in one so young, the mind is plastic and learns spoken language (and literacy) by leaps and bounds compared to, say, 10 years later, when there's more hurdles for the child to leap; thus hindering success. It is the parents' duty to make this very difficult assessment. Personally, and I don't mean to be glib or all-knowing about these issues, but I think that I would wait until the child is about 1.5 to 2 years old before deciding (this decision making process takes in a wide variety of factors) to go ahead with CI implantation OR not. I have huge respect for parents who love their child enough to want the very best for that child whether to implant OR not. They must go through a bewildering array of medical, social, and political storms along this route. My hat's off to the well-informed parent for yours is truly not an enviable place to be.

I purposely painted this with a broad brush because there are SO many variables facing parents to make the right decision for the child and who are we to encourage OR discourage parents along the way because of our personal views, some of which I have seen on some forums that are between two extremes?

It is a very difficult dilemma parents have to face because they say the earlier one implants the better, because in one so young, the mind is plastic and learns spoken language (and literacy) by leaps and bounds compared to, say, 10 years later, when there's more hurdles for the child to leap; thus hindering success. It is the parents' duty to make this very difficult assessment. Personally, and I don't mean to be glib or all-knowing about these issues, but I think that I would wait until the child is about 1.5 to 2 years old before deciding (this decision making process takes in a wide variety of factors) to go ahead with CI implantation OR not. I have huge respect for parents who love their child enough to want the very best for that child whether to implant OR not. They must go through a bewildering array of medical, social, and political storms along this route. My hat's off to the well-informed parent for yours is truly not an enviable place to be.

I purposely painted this with a broad brush because there are SO many variables facing parents to make the right decision for the child and who are we to encourage OR discourage parents along the way because of our personal views, some of which I have seen on some forums that are between two extremes?

Tousi, I think he was hypothesizing hearing, as in without devices, like a hearing person. I actually have gone through this myself. I was born with no ear canals. There is a surgery which has had mixed results in restoring hearing to those of us with atresia. I underwent this as a teen, b/c I totally thought that I wanted to hear like a hearing person. It worked initally, but then didn't work. At the time I was VERY disappointed that it hadn't worked......but in retrospect, I realize that I just hadn't come to terms with the fact that I am deaf. Quite a bit of it was growing up with the idear as hearing loss as pathology (exactly like the way a lot of older GLB folks are psychologically messed up b/c they grew up with their sexual orentiation as a sickness)

I voted no, I always wanted a deaf child and I end up having two hearing children, I'm fine with it, I love them no matter what. If I do have a deaf child, I would not change anything in the world to my child, I would let my child be whoever he/she become.

If my child was deaf, then that's fine with me. I'd accept my child the way he/she is.

I wouldn't call myself THAT qualified to answer this because a) I don't have children and b) I am hearing...

But I think I'd have to know a lot about how helpful and reliable technology is, and what kind of risks were involved, at the time that I had a child. Subjecting my child to unnecessarily high risk, or something that would not work well enough to really make a meaningful difference (one where my child would be happy with the situation) concerns me.

On the other, unless I were to have a deaf spouse, I'm not sure how well-equipped I'd feel to properly educate a child with no hearing whatsoever (or not enough to understand spoken language). I would also need to know the extent of my support system at that time--family, access to language-learning courses I would need, etc. Whatever I taught the child, I would want to make sure I do it right (as in, proper grammar and usage for whichever language) and early because it's imperative for language acquisition to start early.

I have to admit that I would lean towards wanting to provide some sort of assistive technology out of fear that I would fail somehow in my child's education otherwise. But, all of that could change if I actually got into that situation and found more out about what really is available...

I, myself have a hoh child and i rather my son to be more happier the way he is at right now since he was born. I treat him the way he is right now. I accept him when I adopt him ...

i vote no.. if my kid is deaf and i accept it...

I dont vote. All the matter is the child's health!!

I voted yes because I believe it would give them the BEST chances with the least amount of struggle.

Perhaps what should be asked is - to those who already HAVE deaf children, If your deaf child walked up to you today and told you that he/she wanted to be able to hear and there was a way for him/her to hear perfectly without the need of any surgery, they simply needed your permission,

Would you grant it?

Cloggy said:

Well, I thought about having the poll
A: Yes, as soon as possible,
B: Yes, but the child has to decide
C: Yes, but not by invasive surgery
D: No

Any A,B,C is Yes, so why not just two choices.

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And *that* is why it's an oversimplification. I don't say "Yes, but the child has to decide". I just say the child has to decide. I'd accept a deaf child regardless of which they chose. I'd give my child that choice as far as how he or she would want to communicate and respect it in the way that I raise them. My opinion isn't "Yes" or "No". You just see it in black and white, you ignore those of us who see grey too and don't see it as a cut and dry thing.

If I had a deaf child, then yes I would want my child to hear something than nothing at all, with the use of hearing aids first....

deafdyke said:

Tousi, I think he was hypothesizing hearing, as in without devices, like a hearing person.

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I am, that's why I simplified it. I wanted to avoid the "how to get there if you want it for your child..." discussion.

Teresh said:

And *that* is why it's an oversimplification. I don't say "Yes, but the child has to decide". I just say the child has to decide. I'd accept a deaf child regardless of which they chose. I'd give my child that choice as far as how he or she would want to communicate and respect it in the way that I raise them. My opinion isn't "Yes" or "No". You just see it in black and white, you ignore those of us who see grey too and don't see it as a cut and dry thing.

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You are answering the question beyond my question. That's where the grey area's are.