my sister & drugs "Paraphernalia and crack-cocain

I came home from work and found fax waiting for me today. It´s my Dad. It´s bad new that my one year younger sister Sue is back on "drink & drug" again. I beleive that some of you know that my sister is drug addict.

She was on & off to be clean from drugs since 1993. I was like *sigh* when my Dad told me last summer that she is "clean" from drug because I know she will never because she tried for dozen times to be clean dozen of times.. She remind me of my mother & her drinking problem.... Well, Dad praised her is invite her to go Turkey for 2 weeks holiday with him & my 10 year younger sister. All what I say to him.. "I hope she meant it serious".

Now I got his fax saying that she is back to drug again & described me everything about her in 5 pages long letters. His description about her look like she is no longer person, I use know as my sister. He learned from my sister´s 17 years old daughter yesterday. She can´t take any more after tried to help her drug addict mother and pour out everything to Dad how she had through out & very hard to live with her mother since she received alot of abuses. Dad suggest her to stay with him until she get somewhere to live. She left by 7pm and then 2 hours later Dad received the call from my brother saying "Sue was mad on drugs & had 4 druggies "men" round in her house" and got my Dad to go with him to check with Sue. Dad is willing to go with my brother to her place to get 4 druggies out of Sue´s house. The reason they doing because they want my niece to be safe, case she could be raped & Sue would be to more drugged up to know what´s going on. Sue wasn´t happy to see them & tried to shut the door but my Dad & my brother ignored her & go in living room & found 4 druggies with many drugs on coffee table. They threaten 4 druggies to get out. The druggies do what Dad & my brother says and went out without any trouble but Sue ran after one of them & introduced him to Dad & Michael, "this is my boyfriend". My Dad described him to me - He´s tall & skinny - it look like that he haven´t wash for weeks. He told him to piss off with his mates & he did. Dad & my brother have a big row with her. Sue threaten to call the police on them but Dad said to her "Please do & you will find yourself in the mental hospital again". Dad got enough after tried to help her for YEARS but she refused to get the help...

Kinds of drugs they saw is Paraphernalia, plastic bottles with the lids on & little holes made in the side with a straw sticking out of it so they can puff the crack-cocain. Sue screamed at my Dad & brother "I´m a drug addict & I´ll always be a drug addict". Dad told her that it´s his last time & let her do on her own way whatever she like then walked out on her with my brother & niece.

It look like my Dad meant it serious. Yes, I know he do everything for her for YEARS and also pulled her out of homeless to put her secure home & want to give her a better chance life. It´s enough now, he says. I googled to find out what Drug Paraphernalia & "crack"-cocain is today. I was shock when I saw what it is and was upset that Paraphernalia & crack-cocain are dangerous drugs. I know that she had been tried many of drugs like majarina, weeds, etc. etc. until she reach to high drugs. It seem that she´s heroin addict now. I was uspet when I learn to read about this and knew that she would not survive it. It look like that Dad has no choice and let her go now.

What do you say when you were in Dad´s shoe... or have you any experience with drug children or parents? How could you deal with them or let them go?

I would be appreicate very much for your feedback before answer my Dad´s fax. I thinking about answer his fax to suggest him to call the police on her and check drugs on the coffee table and then put her to physical hospitail for long, long time. (I often told Dad off to leave Sue alone at Physical hospital to be clean instead of persuaded doctors to get her out of Physical hospitail dozen of times. She had been go & come from Physical hospital since 1994... I told Dad to not do that until she learn to get the help but he doesnt listen me). It´s not safe enviornment for my 17 years old niece to live with her drug addict mother. No Way... It look like that drugs ruin her life. What she did is mainly worst is drinking and drug addict what my mother is not... My mother only has drinking problem, not drug.

Drug Paraphernalia
http://www.usdoj.gov/dea/concern/paraphernaliafact.html

Crack-cocaine
Because of the dangers of using ether to produce pure freebase cocaine, cocaine producers began to omit the step of removing the freebase cocaine precipitate from the ammonia mixture. Typically, filtration processes are also omitted. The end result of this process is that the cut, in addition to the ammonium salt (NH4Cl), remains in the freebase cocaine after the mixture is evaporated. The “rock” which is thus formed also contains a small amount of water. When the rock is heated this water boils, making a crackling sound (hence the name “crack”). Baking soda is now most often used as a base rather than ammonia for reasons of lowered stench and toxicity; however, any weak base can be used to make crack cocaine. Strong bases, such as sodium hydroxide, tend to hydrolyze some of the cocaine into useless ecgonine.

The net reaction when using baking soda (also called sodium bicarbonate, with a chemical formula of NaHCO3) is:

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crack_cocaine

CRACK and COCAÏNE
http://www.narcononquebec.ca/cocaine.html


I was upset when I typing this post... I has a good memory about her.
She & I used to be closed sister and grow up together. We protect each other against our abusive family... Our childhood was not happy one but we are very closed and keep together like tight with my brother & sister. She´s one who can use sign language... She´s one who translate everything what my parents want to say me because they doesnt bother to try to understand me. It´s hurt because I know I will lost her to drugs some day because I love her so much. I really don´t know what should I say here... I´m toooo upset.... enough now...

You and I are the same shoes. My sister is a drug addict, has been in rehabs, half-way house, jail you name it.. What I've learned from this is You, your dad, brother and niece are co-dependent. You all are trying to help her to stay out of the drug habit. Your dad is doing the right thing by taking your niece. She's the #1 factor that needs to be taken away from a drug addict. I know its hurting you all alot.. but your dad need to stop helping her and move on. Your sister knows that if she goes back again and again, her dad will always come to her rescue. He does need to stop that. Something is going to happen to your sister but she chose to do what she want to do. Maybe one day, something may wake her up and realize what's she doing to herself and her family.. When she has no one to turn to, no one to help her, she'll get to the point she needs help and will want ya'll back into her life but don't let it off real easy. Its very hard to get out of that situation. All you can do is let her know you love her.. but you can't stop her. I'm sorry you're going thru this. just be strong and have faith that things will change to the better.

*Deep hugs you*

I wish I could fly over and hugs you.... real life.. I mean it..

Likely my best friend already have.. *her choice*
(sigh) break my heart!

i m sorry to read, liebling

Oh Liebling, While reading your long post about your sister it brought me tears in my eyes. Your father had done what he knows best, He cannot just run to her rescue every time she is back on drugs. To be quite honest Michelle, I don't know If I could walk away from my son and don't turn back because if something happen to him like ending up dead, I wouldn't live with that.

Your dad has to do whatever it takes to get her off drugs, She is addicted to drugs recognizing that she has a problem (like she said, she cannot help herself, but knows she has a problem) is the first step in getting help, which that would be professional help from a trained drug counselor and get the treatments she needs to get in order to stay alive. If that doesn't help, Call the police let her rot in prison if that is the only way to keep her alive and clean from drugs.

Michelle, I know it's helpless situation, nobody wants to see their loved ones on the edge of dying.

Liebling,


MY sister is in a Rehab too. Her husband had to go to Courthouse and and file for Her to go into a program.. so Judge ordered her into 30 days lock up program for her to get some help.. she does NEED to go for longer program but.. in this world.. None is avilable to help unless the person ask for Help... also Most place are tough with the Insurance it does SUCKS!!!

But Liebling, Believe it or not. Your not alone to go thru this, I Had to draw a line on my sister between us because I WILL not allow her to have my kids to sleep over while she drinks/drunk! She is very verbal abusive, and would do any "Aggresative" attack to anybody who doesn't listen to her also when she does NOT want to listen to any of us she will attack us.. This is very not acceptable.. I can understand..

I admit I print it up to read it... because I am going back on my bed and lay down! argh I got medications from the Emergency Room this morning soo I will write back to you on this.. so that way you can feel welcome to talk to me anytime... I have experiences going thru this too with my ex bf.. so...
but all you can do for now is from us


Wendy

LieblingDarling, I'm sorry that you and your family have to go through this. I agree with Wendy and her post.

None is avilable to help unless the person ask for Help

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As much as I know you wish to help your dear sister, you can't unless she wants to heal herself first. Just remember that we are here to support you and it is always hard to want to heal your own loved ones when they don't want to be helped or healed, eh?

oh no sorry to hear that liebling....will pray for your sister...

I am so sorry to hear that. Yea have your Dad call the police and send her way to the jail. Also do the Tough Love. Plus have your Dad call the child protective service to help with your sweet neice. This way Dad can get a legal guardianship. Good luck and I agree with the ppl above posted.

Cookie Monster said:

None is avilable to help unless the person ask for Help

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Very true! nobody can help addict. The first person who can help an addict is an addict himself or herself. It is the first of 12 steps in recovery. Complete admittance and complete realization of defeatation is the key to true recovery. Without this 1st step, no matter how hard anyone try to help, even the judges, cops, jail, blah blah blah can change this person. That is why it is usually the best way to let this person go on his or her own course to crash and find himself or herself at rock bottom to realize that he or she is in deep Sh*t and sees nobody hands for help, that is where the turn point and start that first magic step. Addiction itself is cunning, baffling and powerful. mind with addiction knew how to play games with people and use them to support their addiction. When the addict find himself or herself with NOBODY to help, he or she knew that he or she can no longer play games.

Libeling, Im sorry to hear your horror. Hope you can find peace and serenity, yet do NOT give up yet! There WILL be one day that there is big turn around.

Liebling.....


When I finish read the paper that I printed it up.. so I can take my time and response to you in a better way....

*rubbing my hands*

boy, this one is really hard on you and everyone else in your family.. Mostly your neiece who lives with her mother and witness on what she has been thru all of her life.. Your father and you can perhaps figure out what to do with your nieces... Have some kind of guardianship or so... Have him go to courthouse to get some temporirly custody of her.. Unless germany has different age limit to live anywhere...

However, to answer your father.. It has to be come out of your heart, your mind, your emotions, etc..

I could understand this, I have lives with this for many years too... My sister has a problem with her drinking but she doesnt do drugs.. except for medications from her doctor.. Understand this.. she also DOES have biopolar aka Mania Despression... these thing don't work well when you drink with it.. she physically abused to herself, she verbal threat to her own husband and to some of family.. My family has shut her off (told her not to contact us at all until she is sober for long time)... This is very hard too.. But we all have learn to live with what we can do... I do not know if in Germany has a program called Al Anon... These type of meeting that has a group where you can sit down and listen, share your experiences etc how to deal with, how to support with a person who has drugs/driinking problem. For me.. I just told my sister, if she want to see my kids she has to come to MY house, and If I see any booze on her or smell on her I will NOT let her come near my kids.. I have yelled at her few times... I have witness cops coming to her house and my house so many times.. That was E N O U G H... now I am in another state.. away from this Crap.. and I feel so much better.. My father called my mother, and my mother told me that she's in some lock up hospital to get some help! because the Judge agree that she was danger to herself and to her husband from her drinking.. she always called my mother. asking for help. my mom tells her "you have to do this on your own, I can't help you anymore, IM tired of listening this.. " etc you name it all. We all have been thru this... 25 years I believe... She was sober for 9 years I believe and start drink again.. that was "enuff"
So WHAT can you do? nothing, just support your dad, your niece.. make sue to know that You want nothing from her until she stop.. Unless she is Danger to herself or others.. then go to court.. I don't know if Germany does that.. but I do know that there's some kind of program that you can "interevene(spell?)" with counselor, social worker, families together sit down to talk with her. if that success she goes in, If that doesn't success then shes unable to go in..

But Liebling, You have my email... If you need a chat.. Email me... Or aim me at my cellphone WLBCell.. (Sorry moderators) I best to go back and lay down and rest... and I do wish you and your family a well.. your father and brother are doing the right thing for sue's daughter.. and He did right thing by kick these people out..

BUt tell them. If sue yelled or ask for help.. Have the police go to her house.. so they can see the drugs on the table or anywhere.. that way she can get a wake up calls (sometime with that it might help...)

to your family from me


Wendy

Rebel and Liebing.. Wish you don't go through. But one matter fact, no one can replace ur sisters. You know they been through struggle themselves, and some reason they turned in that of kind life. Something happen to them in past that guide them into doing bad things. Hopefully one day will come to wake them up. Pray for your sisters.

SherryCherish said:

Rebel and Liebing.. Wish you don't go through. But one matter fact, no one can replace ur sisters. You know they been through struggle themselves, and some reason they turned in that of kind life. Something happen to them in past that guide them into doing bad things. Hopefully one day will come to wake them up. Pray for your sisters.

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Thank you, Sherry Pie!

Aww Liebling)) I know what you are going thru . i have been there before with my sister, my brother, my nephew, my niece and few friends. It is difficult to see them go thru that and all the angry i have seen them yelling at everyone, begging for money to buy drugs and the fights. It is scary to be around them.

My brother Freddy is a drug dealer- he was caught and took to jail many times.. 5th times- he's out.. (they passed new law 3 rd times u r out and u are in prison for many years) he will serve his time in prison for 15 yrs. he is 47 yrs old. He will die in prison. he is not handsome and is always dirty. I hate to hug him and kissed him cuz knowing he didnt bath for long time. ugh its disgusting! he have been in prison since 2002 and will never get out. He said he will change.. but he NEVER change.. he LOVE drugs and the high of it.

Next my baby sister Jo Jo.. she have been using drugs since young. We have done drugs together (im clean from drugs and alcohol) She was beautiful and have a whole life ahead of her.. but no.. she turned to party and drugs more heavy. She would F8ck different guys every weekend for money to get drugs. On two occasions she got pregnant with 2 kids. She didnt know who the kids' father were? Till they did the dna test and found out.

Anyway she got in trouble with my brother Freddy for having meth lab at my mom's house.. UGH. 3 times! 2 times i wasnt there as i was out of town and other time I took my son TJ to school and came home to all cops cars there. i couldnt go in my room or anything as i have to sit on couch and watch tv.. cops search all rooms and found drugs, guns and many things.. they search my room but didnt find anything so they let me go and do what i want cuz im innocent and im not involved with them people.

When its time to go and pick my son TJ up.. they had to move their cars to let me get out of the driveway.. When i got to the therapy and picked TJ up and took him to see my sister Dori and told her there is a meth bust at moms house.. she said oh boy.. those people will never learn, huh? i said nope! sighs.. anyway we went back home but i didnt go to my moms house.. i went next door to my brother Jerry's house to wait there cuz i dont feel like bringing tj back there with cops .. he dont need to see it! I always told TJ dont go in Jo Jo's room or Uncle Freddy's playhouse.. i told him its poison in there.. dont go in there.. he never went there.. yet cops said the kids were tested .. two kids have touch of drugs in their systems.. TJ doesnt.. they were surprsied? i told them that TJ cant go in the rooms and all that. They said u did right thing.

so anyway Jo Jo was taken to jail and booked.. she was in jail for 4 months finally they put her in Rehab for one year.. She just got out of rehab last Feb of this year. Before too long.. she was back on drugs. she havent changed.. shes back to partying.. and go with different guys every weekend.. sighs.. she will never learn! she lost the kids to the father and now can get to see them every weekend.. thats it.. I kept telling the father its not worth to bring kids here cuz all jo jo do is SLEEP and not take care of kids ? my mom and i had to take care of them? my mom didnt like it cuz she is sick and is on oxygen? Jo Jo's oldest son have emotional plms due to his momma verbal abusing and abusing him etc. he is so stubborn and doesnt listen at all. As for her daughter- she is alot like her momma- yelling and getting her own way. I didnt like that.

I have tried to tell Jo Jo u will lose kids cuz of that. is it worth it? she said so what? she didnt even cared? Now she have lost the kids. I think its better for her kids to be with the father cuz the way she is. she will never change till she finally wake up that she does need help and will seek for professional help. U cant change them. They have to for themselves and for their kids.

Drugs sucks, period! I have seen what it can do to my family and friends and went thru the experiences of cops invading your privacy and questioning you all that. My friend Tracy who i worked with used cocaine for long time. She OD'ed on it by using needle stuck in her arm and was found in her van collapsed. Her brother had to hurry and bring her to ER. By the time they got there it was too late. Her brain was fried. They ran the test to see what kind of drugs it was? it was 99% pure cocaine. Tracy prolly didnt know this as she think it was mixed but she was wrong and died from it. I still miss her and wished she havent used the drugs. She would still be alive today?

All i can say is for you to pray for your sister and ask God for his help for your sister. God will see you thru this and you are not alone in this. Talk to someone about this and you will feel better knowing you are not alone. I have done that by talking to my second momma and few close friends about this and they really helped me so much. I hope this help you to see that you are not alone in this. heres my hugs for you..

Ginger

Dear Leibling,

I am very sorry that you and your family are going thru such an awful time with your sister's addiction. I will pray for you all.

You know that you have much support from everyone at AD, and many ADers posted good suggestions from their experiences.

The bottom line for your sister is she needs to make the decision to get clean, and stick with it. Until she is ready to admit her addiction and need to change, there is a limit to what you and your family can do. The important thing to do right now is focus on rescuing your niece. Also, it is important to not feel guilt about your sister.

You might be able to get some help from:

http://www.al-anon.de/

It is part of Alcoholics Anonymous but they have support groups for family members and teens that have addicts in their families. Much of their support is the same for the families of drug addicts.

Also, no more trips to Turkey. If anyone in your family is caught with a tiny bit of drugs, even accidentally, it means life in Turkish prison. They are very, very strict against foreign people using, buying, selling, or transporting drugs. Keep your family safe.

Reba

Aw Liebling ...

I'm truly sorry to hear what you and your family had gone thru over the years with your sister's drug issue....I competely agree with everyone in this thread, your sister has to be the one to help herself, you and your family can not help her, she has to see that she is addict to drugs, and she needs to take the step to get the help herself without relaying on her family to be there....Your dad did his biggest part by helping her get the help she needed, but now he has to stay back and let her do this on her own....

Your father did the right thing Liebling, I know I've seen families stuggle on trying to get their child some help, but as you can see it's not helping the situation as she still going back on drugs again...and she is the one hurting her family....

I'll be sure to pray on this, hopefully she will turn around and get the help she needs and stay clean and not to go back onto drugs again.....

She has to wake up one day and relized that she is not just hurting herself but the people around her who cares and love her very much....

((((((((Liebling)))))))))))

I unds where ur at right now. My brother and his wife had to kicked their daughter, my step neice out of their home and told her never to come home again few months ago because she was stealing their stuffs and she went crazy from being high on meth. It had been so hard on them. My husband told my brother few years ago that she was on drug and my brother denied. Now it hits them hard.

Nothing we can do for her unless she decided to go to rehab and stay sober. It has to be her choice.

Really sad and I am sorry u are dealing with her also.

Leibling,
My husband's sister is a drug addict. Somehow she has never gone to rehab or been arrested. While her father was alive, he bailed her out of all her trouble. After he died, she took out several credit cards in his name, ran up $60,000. Unfortunately, her mother did not turn her in. She just paid off the $. My husband and I told his sister 5 years ago that we love her but we can't be a part of her life until she gets sober. She calls occasionally and leaves a message but we don't call back.
My best friend of 25 years decided that crack was more important than her 2 yr. old daughter. She gave full custody to her exhusband and 6 years later she is still using drugs. She doesn't try to contact me because she knows I won't give her $. She does know that I have stayed involved in her daughters life. I want her daugther to know that once a upon a time, her mother was a great friend and a good person.
You can't change your sister. She has to want sobriety. It's not easy, but you must take care of yourself.
Bearmom

bearmom said:

Leibling,
My husband's sister is a drug addict. Somehow she has never gone to rehab or been arrested. While her father was alive, he bailed her out of all her trouble. After he died, she took out several credit cards in his name, ran up $60,000. Unfortunately, her mother did not turn her in. She just paid off the $. My husband and I told his sister 5 years ago that we love her but we can't be a part of her life until she gets sober. She calls occasionally and leaves a message but we don't call back.
My best friend of 25 years decided that crack was more important than her 2 yr. old daughter. She gave full custody to her exhusband and 6 years later she is still using drugs. She doesn't try to contact me because she knows I won't give her $. She does know that I have stayed involved in her daughters life. I want her daugther to know that once a upon a time, her mother was a great friend and a good person.
You can't change your sister. She has to want sobriety. It's not easy, but you must take care of yourself.
Bearmom

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:jaw: $60,000???? ohhh that's not good.. you did the right thing by not returning her calls.. its hard...

Thank you all for your loving support here in my thread. I appreciate it very much. Your posts make me feel good. It's interesting to read all of your posts here.

I notice some of your posts thought that my Dad & siblings are in Germany. No, they live in London, not Germany. It’s my fault for not tell you that my family is British in first place. I born in Scotland and raised in London. I married to a German & moved to live in Germany when I was 22 years old in 1985.…

I'm truy sorry what you have been through with your belove one who refused get the help... I know it's hurtful...

I’m going to answer some of your posts right now.