Some days I ask "why me"

Angel1989

Angel1989

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I am recently profoundly deaf. Six months. This was caused by an illness which has left me deaf but with a terrible loud noise in my head. Sounds like a compressor. On top of that the music. But, I can live with this mostly because of the support I have received from this website. But what do you do when you have this and other health issues that keep you in such pain that you start believing death is the only resolution. I have had Dystonia (severe muscle spasms like Charlie horse in my right side going on 20 years. Ive had every treatment known. The pain is like a 8 out of 10 everyday. I had to leave my job and mostly rest daily. If we go out which is seldom I pay dearly for it. Just wanted to know if there were others that had issues besides being deaf. I also want to know about the head noise. Anyone else? I'm so SORRY this is long but feeling very depressed today and needed help. Thanks for the love from California:angel::
 
Yes I do. My dogs give me lots of comfort and make me laugh. Thinking positively and trying to do good and help others, particularly animals is something I do.

It benefits me as much as others. Meditation and simple yoga, as much as you are capable of can also help.

Keeping your mind off yourself and your problems is the most important thing you can do.
 
Angle1989 said:
I am recently profoundly deaf. Six months. This was caused by an illness which has left me deaf but with a terrible loud noise in my head. Sounds like a compressor. On top of that the music. But, I can live with this mostly because of the support I have received from this website. But what do you do when you have this and other health issues that keep you in such pain that you start believing death is the only resolution. I have had Dystonia (severe muscle spasms like Charlie horse in my right side going on 20 years. Ive had every treatment known. The pain is like a 8 out of 10 everyday. I had to leave my job and mostly rest daily. If we go out which is seldom I pay dearly for it. Just wanted to know if there were others that had issues besides being deaf. I also want to know about the head noise. Anyone else? I'm so SORRY this is long but feeling very depressed today and needed help. Thanks for the love from California:angel::
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:hug:

Wish I could give you a real hug. Really sounds like you're having a hard day.

The head noise - what helps is focusing on something so much that you zone it out. For me, what helped was playing Facebook Scrabble or writing or anything really that gets my 100% attention. If no one was around, I would sing loudly. Sounds weird but I do, it's fun and it feels good to let out the tension of the constant irritation of tinnitus.
 
Sorry to hear you're having a hard day. I get heard noises too and try to tune it out . I was in a horrible auto accident , I was not at fault , the teenager driver famliy paid me a settlement. I had head trauma and right after the accident it felt my head was in a vise grip clamps that got tighter with each muscle spasm . I was not able to work for months and when I finally did go back work as health aid , I had go home early as I was in tears. I took meds for the pain and when to a rehab hospital for a month. I had the accident in 1997 and I still get head pain and mood swings. I try to take walks to help me relax and stay away from really loud music , it hurt my head now. I am not able to stay out in the cold too long it hurt my head now. I was in very good health before the accident, I was a health aid and I was to help my clients get up , but my arm was injured too and could not lift as well. I would love to be to turn the clock back to that horrible day and have my body back to the way it was before the accident.
 
I too suffer from pain (ears), for a very long time. Depression sets in, and takes a while to pull through....Keeping as active as you can, conversing with others, any topic....find a hobby you enjoy, keeping ur mind off the pain as much as possible.

Just recently, a friend of my family was talking about suicide due to arthritis in his back. He's suffered a very long time with it. We all got together and did some exercises to help relieve him of the pain, and shared our own stories of what we were suffering with. It does help to talk about it sometimes. And sometimes, we can find a solution to remedy the pain just by sharing it with others.

Hope you can find a support group....Going online for one might help you! Wishing you the best.....
 
:welcome: to AllDeaf forum. I hope you will pass the phase. :dunno: But at least I hope you enjoy reading and posting all the threads here. See you around here. :wave:
 
:welcome: to AD. Born deaf and dont know what it is like but I am happy to help with any questions about living life as a deaf person to the fullest. Hang in there!
 
Welcome to our AD! oh... don't tell me about "Charlie Horse", it's very painful. I get this once a while on my calf. It only happen in the early morning, when I make one mistake on stretching out my legs too far, bang! I get the most extruding pain, like trying to give a birth of a baby.... I ended up in embryo position, I just cry...I just hang on to it, just trying to be gentle on my leg, I just couldn't move. Few minutes later, the pain finally soften but it didn't completely go away till later in the morning. It distressing. It been like that most of my life. For you, I know it's hard, like what other posters says, animal is your best friend, animal do sense your pain, he/she will do something with you, to relieve you.
 
Thanks everyone. Like stated Charlie horses are there 24/7. I'm attempting physical therapy again. And yes, my dog "Marley" senses my every mood. She's 4 pounds of pure happiness. I love her so much. Lots of you say talking to others, but how do you do this when your 100% deaf. None of my relatives have taken sign language. I haven't even done this. How do you keep a relationship with all others when you can't communicate? How do you do this. May sound stupid but I really need to know. Id do anything to converse with my mom!!!!!!
 
Angle1989 said:
Thanks everyone. Like stated Charlie horses are there 24/7. I'm attempting physical therapy again. And yes, my dog "Marley" senses my every mood. She's 4 pounds of pure happiness. I love her so much. Lots of you say talking to others, but how do you do this when your 100% deaf. None of my relatives have taken sign language. I haven't even done this. How do you keep a relationship with all others when you can't communicate? How do you do this. May sound stupid but I really need to know. Id do anything to converse with my mom!!!!!!
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I talk to everyone here. There is no barrier in this forum. For your mother, if you can't understand her any other way, she could just type out her responses to you.
 
Angle, there is an app that converts voice to text. If you have iphone or droid, you can download the app for free. It takes a while to adjust--more than six months. Use technology and create some coping strategies that work the best for you.

Welcome to AD. Pain affects your brain. I have chronic pain and it's a challenge to have a good attitude. I have medication that helps. Sometimes, it takes sheer determination and stubborness to keep me going. Sharing on this forum helps, too. Glad that you're here!
 
My Pom has not left my side since my surgery and she tries to lick my ears...it's fine with the right one, but the left one is still bandaged up...so I have to keep her away from it...she knows I'm in pain, looking at me with those "soulful" eyes....so I try to pet her and say "ur a good girl!" and give her a treat (but not too many!).

I do hope ur doggie/cat is with you for comfort!...I'm sure the members here will try to help you and as for ur Mom, pen and paper would work if you cannot lipread/speak....it's sad that she has not found a way to converse with you....My guess is that you really do need ur Mom's comfort and I would let her know how you feel.
 
My Mom is almost 80. She's Irish and most people have a hard time understanding her anyways. We tried the voice to type on my iPad but the out come was horrible but so very funny. My husband said"your mom says....." it came out that your mom wants to rub the tatoo on my butt:):) hope this makes some of you laugh. It did for me!!! No matter whatnI still have my sense of humor!!!!
 
Was sooo funny. Now if my mother talked into the recording to voice it would be extremely funny with her strong Irish Brog.
 
We all get depressed every now and then and the only way to deal with it is to focus your mind and act in a positive way. I've gone through what you are going through, I used to have Minere's pretty bad, it's not easy, you have to keep focusing on positives as well as physically working your body in a positive way.

You're never going to be perfect, but if you work at it everyday you can get better than you are today.

This is just all new to you and it's going to take a while to deal with it.
 
What also makes it hard is invisible illness or impairment are hard for others who never experienced it.. and the people we would love to have love and understanding might not be able to give it.. especially if we were the major personality before the change. Then we suddenly see some are more takers than givers.. not all but some. So it's why its nice to find friends who understand, like here.. helps make life more bearable. Hang in there, have u tried riding a motorcycle, visited countries of interest .. tried something u never did? It can bring the strong feelings to overcome or lessen the pain! :lol:
 
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