Deafness can't subdue a remarkable life

Hi

This was an article about my daughter, written for Newsday newspaper, a local paper circulated in Long Island, NY. It was written by Katti Gray, a Newsday columnist, who interviewed Brooke and our family. The interview was initiated by my daughter, Brooke, who is deaf and receive a cochlear implant at the age of 9, by her receiving a NOW award (National Achievement by Woman).

I am her dad, and currently work at maxiaids.com , a company that distributes disability products for the deaf, hard of hearing, the blind and low vision, products for mobility, and various household assistive devices. I look forward to sharing this article with you. It makes me proud and is a credit to Brooke.

Deafness can't subdue a remarkable life
When, at 5 months old, Brooke Suskin was diagnosed as profoundly deaf, it became her parents' determination to help her grow up as any normal kid might. They set out to ensure as much as possible that she'd be unfettered from other people's beliefs that her disability made her different, less than capable even. The parents, David and Joy – a chiropractor turned- computer programmer and a nutritionist, respectively - are lovers of many simple pleasures. From the driveway of their East Meadow home, a visitor hears David Suskin, an amateur musician, practicing on the saxophone. Entering the Suskins' private sanctum, the eyes take in artwork on a wall or carefully lining a countertop. A small, curly haired, barking dog shares these living quarters. Sound heightens and fine-tunes the other senses. As a solid set of five human functions, the senses run smoothest when . each is operating well. The adult Suskins wanted Brooke to inhabit that world. They fitted her with a hearing aid immediately after the diagnosis. Right then and there, they enrolled their daughter in a program for hearing-impaired infants. By age 3, she was riding a school bus to special classes. By age 5, she had the reading comprehension skills of a second grader. When she was 9, she got a cochlear implant, which really ratcheted up the volume for her. She improved her reading and speech, in part, by watching closed-captioned television shows and studying identifying labels that her parents attached to just about everything in their house. She listened ever so closely when her parents drilled her further still. They covered their mouths when they spoke, expecting Brooke's ears to decipher what they were saying as acutely as they could. In their minds, she approaches perfection - she's an honor student, captain of the tennis team, got admitted to her first pick of top universities and so forth - and this reduces her mom and dad to listing her achievements one by one. Fawning, that's how Brooke views them. "It's the same thing over and over again. They always boast about me," Brooke said, rolling her eyes, but in a friendly way, at her abundantly adoring parents. She is glad for their attention. Though she demurs, she also is pleased with herself and what she represents and that the Nassau County chapter of the National Organization for Women became one of the latest groups to notice something special in her. Selecting Brooke for its most recent Young Woman Achievement Award was a choice based on her accomplishments. These include her being in the top 10 percent of East Meadow High School's Class of 2008, her mentorship of younger deaf kids, her artistic sketches and tabletop architectural models, which have gotten attention at regional art contests year after year. She serves as well as president of East Meadow High's club for students of American Sign Language, which is among the language course offerings. By these measures, NOW so much as said, Brooke has exhibited what is possible, and shown that barriers can be broken. Not that the road to victory had no bumps. She has suffered feelings of isolation and of being the outsider, though it was at its most severe way back in third grade. Her current circle of about a half dozen male and female confidants formed when they were in middle school. They recognize her gifts and her small limitations, she said. She accepts her congenital deafness for what it is. She explains it to others to keep the human communication flowing, including the 4- and 5-year-old hearing children she oversees as a summer day camp counselor. "I want them to know that if I can't hear them, I'm not ignoring, and they should just get my attention," said Brooke, who wants to teach in a regular school that hopefully, like her own, welcomes normal kids who, on the face of it, may seem less than normal. Next fall, as she heads off to the University of Michigan, that is the kind of future she has in mind. Katti Gray's e-mail address is katti@kattigray.com
Thank you letting me share this with you

Regards and Peace

Dr. David A Suskin

Kudos to your daughter. I read this link because of the title, and I most certainly agree that deafness can't subdue a remarkable like. However, I object to some of the lanuage used, such as "like a normal kid", and the subsequent implication that her CI has made her more capable or more "normal". She is quite obviously a motivated individual that will do well no matter what her circumstances. Deafness is normal for a deaf individual. As a chiropractor, I would think that you would accept the more holistic view of deafness.

yes i do, and i understand...

jillio said:

Kudos to your daughter. I read this link because of the title, and I most certainly agree that deafness can't subdue a remarkable like. However, I object to some of the lanuage used, such as "like a normal kid", and the subsequent implication that her CI has made her more capable or more "normal". She is quite obviously a motivated individual that will do well no matter what her circumstances. Deafness is normal for a deaf individual. As a chiropractor, I would think that you would accept the more holistic view of deafness.

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yes, it was in the article, written that way, and I too felt the indication of that choice of words, being troublesome. The gist of the article and of course the general subject was and is beautiful. The whole subject of normal, within whatever, 'disability vs challenged', etc. brings in all that PC (political correctness) issue stuff, which can be a major drawback to communication of what people truely mean (with their biases, and misinformation, bla, bla). Certainly normal as 'majority of people under the 'bell shaped curve' thing is more accurate but not the point. I guess the whole normal thing could have been left out, and just >> a life made easier or something which would have had even more accurate. But no debate!
Thanx for your response. And of course when it comes to your own kids, you want the absolute best for them, whatever that means

doctrane

So she did well from BiBi aproach. That is oral training with hearing aid and sign language too. I think that's the best way really.

doctrane said:

yes, it was in the article, written that way, and I too felt the indication of that choice of words, being troublesome. The gist of the article and of course the general subject was and is beautiful. The whole subject of normal, within whatever, 'disability vs challenged', etc. brings in all that PC (political correctness) issue stuff, which can be a major drawback to communication of what people truely mean (with their biases, and misinformation, bla, bla). Certainly normal as 'majority of people under the 'bell shaped curve' thing is more accurate but not the point. I guess the whole normal thing could have been left out, and just >> a life made easier or something which would have had even more accurate. But no debate!
Thanx for your response. And of course when it comes to your own kids, you want the absolute best for them, whatever that means

doctrane

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Absolutely. I tend to be a bit picky about word choice in these situations not because of political correctness, but because certain phrasing communicates an underlying attitude that needs to be addressed. I see normal as a subjective human experience. The bell curve can certainly determine the average, but ideas of normal within those falling into the average and also those who fall several standard deviations from the average, are still normal in their own subjective experiences.

Glad that you didn't find my comments too harsh. Again, kudos to your daughter. As the parent of a deaf son, I know the pride we feel in our children's accomplishments.

Not to harsh - just honest

jillio said:

Absolutely. I tend to be a bit picky about word choice in these situations not because of political correctness, but because certain phrasing communicates an underlying attitude that needs to be addressed. I see normal as a subjective human experience. The bell curve can certainly determine the average, but ideas of normal within those falling into the average and also those who fall several standard deviations from the average, are still normal in their own subjective experiences.

Glad that you didn't find my comments too harsh. Again, kudos to your daughter. As the parent of a deaf son, I know the pride we feel in our children's accomplishments.

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God, posts I've seen get so firey, AND Harsh. No, you were just honest, and it's good to exchange ideas and outflow what's on your mind.

I'll post a nice story about parents and their kid on another post tomorrow.
It's a universal story

doctrane

doctrane,

Wonderful article! You must be a very proud popa! Best of luck to Brooke at U of Michigan this Fall. You and your wife should also be commended as well--children do not raise themselves. As a parent of a college senior with a cochlear implant, I can appreciate her accomplishments and the job you have done.
Rick

Thank you so much for sharing your article (and story) with us. What a pleasure it was to read it! She sounds like a wonderful young lady.

Thanks for sharing your daughter's story. It always makes me feel happy to come across parents who care deeply for their children, whichever route to communication or audition they follow

Excellent! And it's awesome that you were openminded about Sign usage for your daughter! I have NO beef whatsoever with oral training, as long as it's part of a "whole toolbox" approach, and as long as the kid is carefully tracked to make sure that they are doing well orally.......

Sign Language

R2D2 said:

Thanks for sharing your daughter's story. It always makes me feel happy to come across parents who care deeply for their children, whichever route to communication or audition they follow

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When she was a child, I personally was very unconfortable with sign language, deafness (non-oralism), etc., but after she was a child, and I think particularly after she received her implant, I relaxed alot. In her school district, East Meadow, they taught sign language as a primary language (french, spanish, etc.), so it was a natural for her to choose that, and she did. Took it for 4 years. University of Michigan accepts it as a language and she is continuing her education, with it, taking classes in it at the university. Of course at this point, her being older, it links her to be able to deal with people who speak sign language as their primary language (deaf), and she can be a bridge between deaf community and hearing community. Whatever. It's been a blessing, but bumpy road at times. As you all know, who are parents, in general!

doctrane

doctrane said:

When she was a child, I personally was very unconfortable with sign language, deafness (non-oralism), etc., but after she was a child, and I think particularly after she received her implant, I relaxed alot. In her school district, East Meadow, they taught sign language as a primary language (french, spanish, etc.), so it was a natural for her to choose that, and she did. Took it for 4 years. University of Michigan accepts it as a language and she is continuing her education, with it, taking classes in it at the university. Of course at this point, her being older, it links her to be able to deal with people who speak sign language as their primary language (deaf), and she can be a bridge between deaf community and hearing community. Whatever. It's been a blessing, but bumpy road at times. As you all know, who are parents, in general!

doctrane

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If you don't mind me asking, why was it that you were uncomfortable with sign?

oralism

jillio said:

If you don't mind me asking, why was it that you were uncomfortable with sign?

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At the time, when she was an infant thru young child, there were alot of unknowns, and decisions. I'm more relaxed with this stage of her life, being a young adult. She has the capacities to do just about anything. She's proven it to us each day, which is very humbling. I am extremely proud of her, but at a more fundamental level, that parents, or good parents know.... We adore her, my wife and I, absolutely adore our child. duh! not hard to imagine, if you're like most, many parents.

Anyway, I'll go into these details perhaps at another time.
Question:
Are you deaf (signer), or parent or oral, or what?

doctrane

doctrane said:

When she was a child, I personally was very unconfortable with sign language, deafness (non-oralism), etc., but after she was a child, and I think particularly after she received her implant, I relaxed alot. In her school district, East Meadow, they taught sign language as a primary language (french, spanish, etc.), so it was a natural for her to choose that, and she did. Took it for 4 years. University of Michigan accepts it as a language and she is continuing her education, with it, taking classes in it at the university. Of course at this point, her being older, it links her to be able to deal with people who speak sign language as their primary language (deaf), and she can be a bridge between deaf community and hearing community. Whatever. It's been a blessing, but bumpy road at times. As you all know, who are parents, in general!

doctrane

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My parents felt uncomfortable with sign language too when I was a baby which was why I was raised orally. It was hard being raised orally. I wish I had known sign language growing up..oh well.

I wish more parents of deaf children were comfortable with sign language because so many deaf children need it.

At least u are honest about it and thanks.

Thanks for sharing your story.

doctrane said:

At the time, when she was an infant thru young child, there were alot of unknowns, and decisions. I'm more relaxed with this stage of her life, being a young adult. She has the capacities to do just about anything. She's proven it to us each day, which is very humbling. I am extremely proud of her, but at a more fundamental level, that parents, or good parents know.... We adore her, my wife and I, absolutely adore our child. duh! not hard to imagine, if you're like most, many parents.

Anyway, I'll go into these details perhaps at another time.
Question:
Are you deaf (signer), or parent or oral, or what?

doctrane

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Don't mind answering at all. I am a hearing parent of a deaf 22 year old son. I am fluent in ASL, as I chose to become involved with the Deaf community at the time my son was diagnosed. I held the belief then, as now, that a hearing professional could not explain to me fully what the experience of a deaf child was. The only person that could do that was a deaf adult who had lived as a deaf child. Therefore, I chose to become involved with the Deaf community in order to better understand the experience of my child. It was more for me than just a language choice, but one of understanding on a psycho-social, emotional level what the experience of deafness was for a deaf child. As a hearing parent, I could not understand that based on my experience alone, as my perspective was biased by the very fact that I saw the world from a hearing perspective.

I chose a bi-bi environment for my home, and a TC environment educationally. Bi-bi was not available at the time educationally; the closest I could come was a reputable Deaf school that employed TC methodolgy in the classroom, and a bi-bi environment socially.

My son will graduate froma major university (hearing) this coming spring. He will have his BA, and has maintained a GPA of 3.4 throughout.

I agree that his accomplishments are very humbling to me. He has accomplished more than many of his hearing peers, and the strength and determination he has shown in reaching his goals are admirable. I, too, am very proud of my child.

He has also brought a new perspective into my life and enriched in in more ways that can be said. He was my motivation to return to school myself to be better able to serve the deaf population as advocate and counselor. I am currently working on my Ph.D., and I doubt seriously that I would have taken that step had it not been for my experience of raising a deaf child and seeing first hand the many needs of the deaf that were being ignored by the majority of society. So, I give that experience the credit for placing me in the position of improving my own life in order to be of service to others. Being involved with the deaf community has been a guiding and positive force in my life, not just as a parent, but through the numerous friendships I have formed, and the professional direction I have chosen.

Well it's good that you decided that it was OK for her to learn Sign after. As long as a kid is carefully tracked with regards to oral skills, and isn't allowed to fall behind, I think that the oral-first decision can be a good one. I do think that orally trained/oral first kids should learn Sign early on. It can be a GREAT tool, like for those who have a strong visual learning apittue, as well as a great social tool.
At least you were somewhat openminded about that. And we do understand about you being kind of uncomfortable with Sign. It does seem like therapists/doctors etc push "most normal" functioning for kids with disabilites. It's not just limited to dhh kids.........physically disabled kids, kids who are blind low vision get pushed to function as "normally" as possible.
Sign is an obvious visable symbol of "difference" (ie like wheelchairs, walkers, Braille etc)

School offered Sign Language as Primary Language

deafdyke said:

Well it's good that you decided that it was OK for her to learn Sign after. As long as a kid is carefully tracked with regards to oral skills, and isn't allowed to fall behind, I think that the oral-first decision can be a good one. I do think that orally trained/oral first kids should learn Sign early on. It can be a GREAT tool, like for those who have a strong visual learning apittue, as well as a great social tool.
At least you were somewhat openminded about that. And we do understand about you being kind of uncomfortable with Sign. It does seem like therapists/doctors etc push "most normal" functioning for kids with disabilites. It's not just limited to dhh kids.........physically disabled kids, kids who are blind low vision get pushed to function as "normally" as possible.
Sign is an obvious visable symbol of "difference" (ie like wheelchairs, walkers, Braille etc)

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It was also a great thing that Brooke's highschool, East Meadow High, offered sign langauge as primary language, along with her middle school. It gave her the chance learn sign language (ASL), and also share it with her fellow schoolmates who also took the course(s). It placed sign language into the realm of being a complete language, on social and historical par with other oral languages (English, Spanish, German, Italian, etc. etc.)

doctrane
webmaster

doctrane said:

It was also a great thing that Brooke's highschool, East Meadow High, offered sign langauge as primary language, along with her middle school. It gave her the chance learn sign language (ASL), and also share it with her fellow schoolmates who also took the course(s). It placed sign language into the realm of being a complete language, on social and historical par with other oral languages (English, Spanish, German, Italian, etc. etc.)

doctrane

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That was cool she was able to do it with her friends!

R2D2 said:

That was cool she was able to do it with her friends!

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Agreed. Peer interaction adds an extra benefit.

What a beautifully, artistically written article about a remarkable young woman. I loved that it painted such a verbally colorful picture of your family. I am constantly inspired by those who are able to take a personal challenge, such as hearing loss, and turn it into an inspiration and gifts for others.


One of my dearest friends suffered major hearing loss as a child due to a botched up surgery. She faced many of the struggles your daughter did as a child. Her Cochlear Implant opened up a whole new world for her, but she still has struggled in crowds. She uses a Pocketalker Ultra - Portable Amplifier in social and work situations to block out the background noise. Isn't the technology available to our loved ones amazing? Paulene never felt she would fit in, but she, like your daughter has exceeded even her own expectations.

Kudos to you, as her parents, for embracing your child and giving her the wonderful opportunities that life presents.