Why adults choose CI's for their children

I have been a member here for a month or so now and have learned very much from this and other sites relating to deaf issues. One thing that I have learned is that some in the deaf community feel that if a parent chooses to have a CI for their child, it's because they don't accept their child for who they are. While I can't speak for everyone, I know that for me there is nothing further from the truth. So I would ask the parents of deaf children to please respond with the reason you chose a CI for your child.

Thank you

rockdrummer said:

So I would ask the parents of deaf children to please respond with the reason you chose a CI for your child.
Thank you

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First, because HA's didn't help. After that because I want her to experience the hearing world. Her direct family can hear, her family can hear, our friends can hear, most of the outside world can hear.

Sure, she would be a wonderful person growing up deaf in a hearing world. Now, she will be a wonderful person growing up hearing in a hearing world.

Perhaps, to summarize: "extended opportunities".

Cloggy,

You said that you wanted your daughter to experience the hearing world, It sounds like the issue of black/white race relations. I hate the word "racism", every now and then I've heard that for so long that black people felt that way from the white people, while not all white people are racism. You cannot change a white person to become an African American, You cannot change an African person to a white person to be part of a community or experience their world. It's all about accepting who they are as a person!

That is another example of being involving with the hearing world, Not every person who is hearing going to look down onto the deaf people, Same for the deaf people not going to look down onto the hearing people, What if a hearing person wants to become deaf? dued to too much annoying sounds, So can a hearing person can turn deaf? Do you have any idea how dumb that can be? Why can't we all just be ourselves? the person you were born with.

You think that CI is going to change your daughter to become a hearing person, But, you are wrong, Your daughter is always going to be deaf because she was born deaf, CI is only an additive, to help her with hearing stored, an electronic device. The idea of having a CI to have your daughter to be part of a hearing world doesn't sounds right, while deaf people can still be part of the hearing world without a CI. You don't seem to have a lot of knowledge of what a deaf person can do, and what they cannot do, because you are not deaf? But that doesn't mean you can't learn, My family learned about my deafness very slowly through the years, I don't see them wishing me to become a hearing person like them, They accept me for who I am a person that became deaf. I'm so glad that they did, because I want someone to accept me for who I am as a person, not a person that someone wants me to be. That's what my explaintion is all about in this post, about accepting that's the way the real world should be, accepting people for who they are as a person.

I just thought of throwing in my 2 cents.

I think that people should back of Cloggy - he has done what he has felt was in the best interests of his daugher. SHE is happy. She enjoys being able to hear (albit aided by a CI), enjoys music, enjoys talking. Nothing you say will change the fact that she now has a CI. He's also said that she is learning sign language as well. Why cant people just back off and let the parent do what they deem is best for their child, as long as the child is happy and healthy it really is nobody's business but the parent's. He researched before he made the decision and does not regret it - neither, apparently does his daughter. Accept the fact that people who have CI's can be happy, can interact with the deaf world, as WELL as the hearing world (they have the best of BOTH that way!).

Nobody denies the fact (not even Cloggy) that *biologically* his daughter is deaf. However she is hearing when CI-assisted. That is fact too (heck,so am I!)

Yes deaf people can be a part of the hearing world without a CI- but what is it with the fact that Cloggy's daughter is HAPPY with her CI, HAPPY with interacting with both the hearing and the deaf world that seems to be so threatening to all the anti-CI activists?

I'm in favour of children who get no benefit from HAs getting CIs but I think that Cheri has a point. Such children will always be deaf and their hearing will still be powered by batteries. It is important to recognise this and not be carried away with an idea that they are now "normal".

The way I see it is that CIs increase the possibility of deaf children who derive no or little benefit from hearing aids getting access to the benefits of the hearing world such as the school, workplace, being involved with their families and a wider range of friends to choose from. But it doesn't change the way they were born and they will always still feel different in the hearing world.

R2D2

hearing parents who never had any contact with deaf world can not imagine living without hearing, which is quite understandable,
so from their point of view they are doing everything they can to ensure their deaf or HI child will have the best opportunities possible to function in the hearing world.


Fuzzy

I thought long and hard about having my daughter implanted. I spent months talking to different doctors, reading medical articles, sitting in front of this computer for hours on end.
I understand what cloggy means, let me try to rephrase it. Cloggy, if I am wrong please say so. My daughter is deaf no matter what she does. Hearing aids, still deaf. Implant, still deaf. She will always be deaf no matter what she uses/does to communicate. I have no intention of trying to change who/what she is. The c.I. is simply a tool for communication. Like any other tool, you have to know how to use it. The longer you use any specialized tool, the better you get at using it (hence the young implantation age). A mechanic has hundreds or even thousands of tools in his tool box right? Do you know why he has all of those tools? He has them so he will always have the right tool for the job. If you have the right tool, the job is easy. If you dont have the right tool, a simple job can be a pain in teh a$$.
The C.I. is simply another tool in my daughters tool box that she can use when working her way through life.
DISCLAIMER TIME- I am not at all implying that the C.I. is any better or worse than any other tool for communication. It is just another option she will have when she gets older.

lili'sdad......GREAT POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A parent's job is to equip the child with as many tools as possible!

Why cant people just back off and let the parent do what they deem is best for their child, as long as the child is happy and healthy it really is nobody's business but the parent's. He researched before he made the decision and does not regret it - neither, apparently does his daughter. Accept the fact that people who have CI's can be happy, can interact with the deaf world, as WELL as the hearing world (they have the best of BOTH that way!).

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Well I think a lot of folks are acting really defensive b/c they see a lot of parents with their heads in the sand.

Well It's true "not use it = lose it",

but as a HI who went totaly deaf later in life let me tell you no matter how well one perfected the use of his/her tools there is always huge stress resulting simply from an effort that is required to communicate (which is quite exhausting even if the person is not aware of the stress), and sooner or later there is always an ugly communication barrier to appear BOINK and no matter how good HA or CI or lipreading you can't get past it in other words you can't communicate at all sometimes, and it's an awful feeling.

So, IMO involving BOTH deaf and hearing ways is a must. It would require a lot more work than with just chosing one side but very well worth it IMO.

As you mentioned yourself, implant or not your daughter is deaf first and foremost, so she should have ties to deaf culture even if just to know there something to fall back when she's exhausted from living in hearing world..
(I am saying that in case if you separated her from it..)

Fuzzy

Lillys dad said:

I thought long and hard about having my daughter implanted. I spent months talking to different doctors, reading medical articles, sitting in front of this computer for hours on end.
I understand what cloggy means, let me try to rephrase it. Cloggy, if I am wrong please say so. My daughter is deaf no matter what she does. Hearing aids, still deaf. Implant, still deaf. She will always be deaf no matter what she uses/does to communicate. I have no intention of trying to change who/what she is. The c.I. is simply a tool for communication. Like any other tool, you have to know how to use it. The longer you use any specialized tool, the better you get at using it (hence the young implantation age). A mechanic has hundreds or even thousands of tools in his tool box right? Do you know why he has all of those tools? He has them so he will always have the right tool for the job. If you have the right tool, the job is easy. If you dont have the right tool, a simple job can be a pain in teh a$$.
The C.I. is simply another tool in my daughters tool box that she can use when working her way through life.
DISCLAIMER TIME- I am not at all implying that the C.I. is any better or worse than any other tool for communication. It is just another option she will have when she gets older.

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:post:

You're right. It's just a tool. No matter what a person does, he/she will still be deaf.

Sadly, there are a lot of students here who are deaf and wear hearing aids to help them hear. Yet, they go around saying that they aren't deaf or ashamed to call themselves deaf.

Sadly, there are a lot of students here who are deaf and wear hearing aids to help them hear. Yet, they go around saying that they aren't deaf or ashamed to call themselves deaf.

Well I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with wearing HA per se,
but the way one perceives lack of a sense of hearing.
For some, having to use hands or other means (besides speaking and listening) for communication is for some reason embarassing.
Deaf, blind, somebody who is missing some body part/s etc does stick out from average crowd. I suspect this is mainly what motivates people to see themselves as " deaf" or "hearing" - 'deaf' being different, perhaps even less able.
Some people does not want to be different.

It is surely even deeper than that..

Fuzzy

neecy said:

I think that people should back of Cloggy

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Huh? It´s Cloggy who choose to create some threads here to ask us for questions and share his opinion/feedback with us. I see nothing wrong if we have different opinion than him?

- he has done what he has felt was in the best interests of his daugher.

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Yes, we have seen it and respect him as parent.

SHE is happy.

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She enjoys being able to hear (albit aided by a CI), enjoys music, enjoys talking.

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Yes, she is happy to have good parents like Cloggy but it´s too early to say that she is happy to have CI because she is only 3 years old.

Nothing you say will change the fact that she now has a CI.

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Nobody says here but share our feeling and opinion because Cloggy ask us for our opinion.

He's also said that she is learning sign language as well.

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Yes he said.

Why cant people just back off and let the parent do what they deem is best for their child, as long as the child is happy and healthy it really is nobody's business but the parent's. He researched before he made the decision and does not regret it - neither, apparently does his daughter. Accept the fact that people who have CI's can be happy, can interact with the deaf world, as WELL as the hearing world (they have the best of BOTH that way!).

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Again, Cloggy created his few threads to ask for our opinion/feedback with agree to disagree. If Cloggy don´t like his threads here then he is free to ask Moderator or Admin. to lock his threads but he didn´t. It look like that he like to collect every opinions/feedback from us. Its about open mind when we agree to disagree each other. You can´t expect us to agree with Cloggy all the time. I ask you to respect us please when we have different opinion than Cloggy.

Nobody denies the fact (not even Cloggy) that *biologically* his daughter is deaf. However she is hearing when CI-assisted. That is fact too (heck,so am I!)

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No, you are still deaf if you wear HA or CI. HA or CI only help you to hear, that´s all.

Yes deaf people can be a part of the hearing world without a CI- but what is it with the fact that Cloggy's daughter is HAPPY with her CI, HAPPY with interacting with both the hearing and the deaf world that seems to be so threatening to all the anti-CI activists?

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How do you know that his daughter is happy with her CI because she is only 3 years old? Babies to toddlers didn´t know what CI or HA is...

I ask you please to not label us as anti-activists but respect us because we are not agree to implant babies to toddlers with CI until they are old enough to decide what they want to have CI or not. Please respect our opinoin... Its about open mind when I am for to let my child to have choice, not do what I want for my child.

Thank you

Lillys dad said:

I thought long and hard about having my daughter implanted. I spent months talking to different doctors, reading medical articles, sitting in front of this computer for hours on end.
I understand what cloggy means, let me try to rephrase it. Cloggy, if I am wrong please say so. My daughter is deaf no matter what she does. Hearing aids, still deaf. Implant, still deaf. She will always be deaf no matter what she uses/does to communicate. I have no intention of trying to change who/what she is. The c.I. is simply a tool for communication. Like any other tool, you have to know how to use it. The longer you use any specialized tool, the better you get at using it (hence the young implantation age). A mechanic has hundreds or even thousands of tools in his tool box right? Do you know why he has all of those tools? He has them so he will always have the right tool for the job. If you have the right tool, the job is easy. If you dont have the right tool, a simple job can be a pain in teh a$$.
The C.I. is simply another tool in my daughters tool box that she can use when working her way through life.
DISCLAIMER TIME- I am not at all implying that the C.I. is any better or worse than any other tool for communication. It is just another option she will have when she gets older.

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rockdrummer and Cloggy,

I respect you as parents but it´s just our feeling as parents. It´s too scary to implant babies´s to toddler´s head with CI. I rather to leave my child´s choice because it´s them who wear CI rest of their life, not us.

I rather to have risk-free is HA.... I wear my baby with HA until he/she is old enough to understand what CI is... If she/he want to have it then I will be happy to support them. I let my child to mix with hearing, deaf, CI and HOH children to let my child to learn his/her own experiences. You know that the children have feeling...

I am sure that I told you in other threads that 8 years old son of my friends have a feeling and want to have CI for 2 years until his parent fulfilling his wish at last. It´s good for the children to know that his/her parents respect what he/she is. I would do the same as my friends if I have deaf child.

VamPyroX said:

:post:

You're right. It's just a tool. No matter what a person does, he/she will still be deaf.

Sadly, there are a lot of students here who are deaf and wear hearing aids to help them hear. Yet, they go around saying that they aren't deaf or ashamed to call themselves deaf.

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Clarification: do you mean anyone with a serious hearing loss is deaf? I.e., I qualify as 'deaf' because I can't hear at all without my hearing aids? The only problem with that is that every time I tell a hearie "I am deaf" ... it would turn into a huge discussion of deafness, deaf culture, etc., etc. That definition just doesn't fit with the way the word is used by the mainstream population.

Liebling:-))) said:

rockdrummer and Cloggy,

I respect you as parents but it´s just our feeling as parents. It´s too scary to implant babies´s to toddler´s head with CI. I rather to leave my child´s choice because it´s them who wear CI rest of their life, not us.

I rather to have risk-free is HA.... I wear my baby with HA until he/she is old enough to understand what CI is... If she/he want to have it then I will be happy to support them. I let my child to mix with hearing, deaf, CI and HOH children to let my child to learn his/her own experiences. You know that the children have feeling...

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I completely respect your opinion but in my case it was not that simple. My child had contracted meningitis due to a spinal fluid leak in one of his ears. It turns out that he had a malformed cochlea which is where the leak was coming from. After the bout with meningitis the first thing to do was pack that ear so there was no further leak and so he would not contract this deadly infection again. Due to the malformation and packing, this ear would never be a candidate for a CI. The other ear was a candidate but we had to make a decision rather quickly because based on x-ray, ossification was already setting in. If I didn't decide at that point, my child would not have been able to make the decision ever. It was heart wrenching going through almost loosing my child from meningitis to having to get this thing implanted in his head in less than a one month period. We decided to do it based on those facts and I can tell you it was not an easy decision and it had NOTHING to do with accepting my child for who he is. I love my children with ever fiber of my being no matter what. If the circumstances were different, I am sure our entire thought process would have been different as well.

Please keep in mind that not everything in life is cut and dry….. or black and white. There are almost always unique circumstances in each case and one solution will not fit everybody’s needs. The reason we chose to go with the CI was because the window of opportunity to have it done was almost shut. As it turns out, the CI has no benefit for my son because of the ossification and now he has this useless thing stuck in his head. Even knowing this if I was faced with that decision again under the same circumstances, I would have done the same thing. It has nothing to do with acceptance and everything to do with wanting my child to have the best chance in life to achieve.

Rock drummer, I'll beat em to it. By saying he wants to giv ehis child the best chance in life to acheive, is not saying that it is the only way his child can acheive. It is merely saying that with the C.I., his child will have an easier time communicating.

lilys dad.. im just curious why do you think its easier to commuincate? how about sign language? its easier too? just asking.

LisaMarie said:

lilys dad.. im just curious why do you think its easier to commuincate? how about sign language? its easier too? just asking.

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You're being facetious here. Or you're incredibly dense - not sure which. Is sign language a rich language that is easily accessible to the deaf? Yes. Is it spoken by the majority of the American population? No. Communication isn't just about what you can produce and receive - it's about who you can connect with.

ismi said:

You're being facetious here. Or you're incredibly dense - not sure which. Is sign language a rich language that is easily accessible to the deaf? Yes. Is it spoken by the majority of the American population? No. Communication isn't just about what you can produce and receive - it's about who you can connect with.

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hey hey take it easy!!!! im just asking!